[ Nebula knows anger. She knows it better than herself - than the her she is now - better than even the kindest hearts in the universe. She knows it, because for so long anger was all she saw. It blotted the skies an inky red, bleeding into every crook and cranny it could. She knew anger, because that was the blood that had moved in her veins. It was the very reason she was alive today. ]
[ Nebula had been filled with so. much. anger. Anger that had a single purpose: to kill her father (to kill Gamora). Why? So she may live, so he (they) could feel all the pain that had been her miserable existence. The pain and the trauma that had her wishing for the day her sister would end it all by taking her life. She had surpassed that anger for - ]
[ - Freedom. Herself. Family.]
[ She is angry, the feeling pulsates inside of her ready to boil over. How easy it would be to decide to fall into its embrace, to utilize the reason she was allowed to live - she was made for. It'd be easy, to be so angry to take the lives of every villager who forced them into that mess. Except... She doesn't want to be angry. Not that way. And most importantly he's hurting. ]
[ So she listens, feeling helpless, and swallows hard when time passes. ]
[ There is nothing to shoot. Only her, and she could take it. ]
Something better?
[ She hisses out the word in retaliation, breath sharp. ] Is that what you think?
[ The question is rhetorical - of course he thinks that. Some part of her agrees. She hates herself. That person was able to live - be free - in a way she could not be. She didn't know the damage she had done. Nebula lives with it and the pain and the knowledge. That stupid knowledge that she will always be weak and one step behind. Maybe forgetting would be easier. ]
Who you are now is fine. [ The word comes out near venomously - it doesn't sit right. ] Whatever - whoever - was behind it is messing with our heads. It wants you to feel like shit.
[ She thinks. Probably. Not that she (they) don't always feel like shit and in this case - it was some glimmer of hope, possibility, that was yanked away after it bloomed. She swallows it down. ]
I don't care how they think they can make you better - [ This word is definitely full of poison. Maybe, this too, is why she so much does not forgive her other self; So much of her had been forcibly changed under what was best for her. So much of him too. ]Fuck them, the greatest version of you is standing right before me.
no subject
[ Nebula had been filled with so. much. anger. Anger that had a single purpose: to kill her father (to kill Gamora). Why? So she may live, so he (they) could feel all the pain that had been her miserable existence. The pain and the trauma that had her wishing for the day her sister would end it all by taking her life. She had surpassed that anger for - ]
[ - Freedom. Herself. Family.]
[ She is angry, the feeling pulsates inside of her ready to boil over. How easy it would be to decide to fall into its embrace, to utilize the reason she was allowed to live - she was made for. It'd be easy, to be so angry to take the lives of every villager who forced them into that mess. Except... She doesn't want to be angry. Not that way. And most importantly he's hurting. ]
[ So she listens, feeling helpless, and swallows hard when time passes. ]
[ There is nothing to shoot. Only her, and she could take it. ]
Something better?
[ She hisses out the word in retaliation, breath sharp. ] Is that what you think?
[ The question is rhetorical - of course he thinks that. Some part of her agrees. She hates herself. That person was able to live - be free - in a way she could not be. She didn't know the damage she had done. Nebula lives with it and the pain and the knowledge. That stupid knowledge that she will always be weak and one step behind. Maybe forgetting would be easier. ]
Who you are now is fine. [ The word comes out near venomously - it doesn't sit right. ] Whatever - whoever - was behind it is messing with our heads. It wants you to feel like shit.
[ She thinks. Probably. Not that she (they) don't always feel like shit and in this case - it was some glimmer of hope, possibility, that was yanked away after it bloomed. She swallows it down. ]
I don't care how they think they can make you better - [ This word is definitely full of poison. Maybe, this too, is why she so much does not forgive her other self; So much of her had been forcibly changed under what was best for her. So much of him too. ] Fuck them, the greatest version of you is standing right before me.