[ Julie can see Jesper in her peripheral vision, but she doesn't turn her head to look at him. She fears that, if she does, she won't be able to fight her instinct to put the front back up, or else to run and hide. It feels too vulnerable, too dangerous.

And she also fears that if she does meet his eye and manage to conquer the urge to shield herself, she will be putting a crack in a dam that is holding back a tidal wave of things she cannot afford to let loose. She thinks she'll drown if it breaks. ]

Jesper, you don't know what it is to be the last one. [ She doesn't say it with any vitriol — if anything, saying it seems to pain her, with her eyes squeezing tightly shut for a second. Her knuckles are white around the doorknob as she takes a shuddering breath. ] They take everything. Even when you die, they take that from you too, so you can never rest. You tell yourself it was 'cause you're special, 'cause it was meant to be, but then they snatch that from you too. First your life, then your death, then the only thing that ever made you feel...

[ Something crumbles. Her head falls forward, pressed to the door, and her eyes close again. Tears spill over the line of her lashes, down her cheeks. There's a moment where she struggles to breathe, her nose growing stuffy and choked when she tries to inhale.

Her voice comes out as nothing more than a quavering whisper. ] I was happy. I was happy there. I didn't... it was all gone, it didn't hurt anymore.