[ river remembers everything. she always has - it's just buried beneath layers of scar tissue, psychosis, and now eight hundred years of unreality. even now, it takes her a moment to sort through the information in her head to find something that feels relevant, staring at nothing until the words spill out on their own. ]

The Doctor of Illumination.

[ that's right. it's hard to believe that was only a few months ago when it feels literal centuries away. river's brows furrow as she thinks about jesper's post, when she spoke to viktor for the first time. ]

You were upset. You didn't want the title but they gave it to you anyway. Made it seem like award, an honor - an honorary degree and a party while they painted your legacy black.

[ if ever there needed to be an example of how power itself isn't inherently good or bad, but how it's used by the person wielding it - he saved his own life and they made a bomb. she frowns and ducks her head. ]

You said not to apologize, but I thought that showing you this would probably make you sad. It's not yours.

[ it's not your fault. ]