They would inevitably return to the matter of Kell, and the hole he leaves behind, the way water circles a drain — it has no choice but to submit to that downward pull. But for now, Wilhelm will fight against the current of his thoughts. Fight to stay afloat.

"That's good."

So far removed from the context of their home worlds, it's easy to forget sometimes that Jesper was part of a gang in a cutthroat city, where Wilhelm definitely would have ended up dead in a ditch, or kidnapped and held for a fat ransom. He doesn't think he could ever learn that cool acceptance. He still feels, two full years later, the weight of the lives snuffed out in Libertas and Nott.

"You would've gotten in bigger trouble."

If anyone had died. Hoping desperately for a buzz to drown out everything else, he sips more of his drink.