Despite always having some semblance of an answer for him, she lacks one now. But this isn't the first time, is it? She hadn't understood why Nikolai kept transforming into his demon despite Genya's best efforts to create tonics to calm his nervous system. She never understood why he flew in the direction he did, even when she finally understood he kept favouring one point of the compass over the rest.

But even though she tells herself she doesn't know the answer to his question, she doesn't utter the words. That's a lie. She tries not to make a habit of lying to him.

"We need to leave."

When she seems to be turning away from his hand on her shoulder, she grasps it tightly and tugs it as she hurries toward the end of the church. But even that seems far away now, the length of the aisle extending.