( He's quiet as Kyle talks, uninterrupting, contemplative. Istredd had been right, it seems, during their brief talk right after their rocky conversation. To be completely honest, hearing this makes him feel better than almost anything else they've said to each other leading up to it. This feels like it's touching on the root of the issue, not just the... weird, nebulous stuff around it, poking at it but not acknowledging it. It's good. It frees up something in his chest a little, something — unlocks. )

It's okay. I'm not really a good friend either. Before Jerry, before you, the only one I ever had my whole life was Sabine. That's it. And if Jerry had been anyone else, or a little less — Jerry-ish, I don't think he would've stuck around either. I'm- judgmental, and self-righteous, and closed-off, and hard to read. I shut people down, because it's easier than opening myself up and being honest, and it makes people- sometimes it makes people have a hard time believing that I'm being sincere.

( Hell, Jerry and Rosa thought he didn't even like them, well into the third book point on the timeline that they should've been long past that. But he's told Kyle this, he doesn't need to repeat it. )

The point is, I don't know how to do this any more than you do. Not really. But it's alright, because we can just be shitty friends together.