[Viktor squeezes his eyes shut, forehead pressed against Kyle's and fingers brushing his knuckles. All of this is still hard to hear, even though he knows it's nonsensical by now. He tries to focus on Kyle's physical presence, the feel of their arms around each other and the warmth of his body, especially against the chill of the night air.
He finds himself resenting the idea that Kyle thinks he needs a god's permission to live, and keep living. He wonders, perhaps uncharitably, if he might have inadvertently contributed to this, by healing him--but then Kyle comes to the correct conclusion. Viktor smiles, gently.]
You are allowed to live. You do not need anyone's permission.
[I want you to live. The rest of the confession, he doesn't exactly expect. Even without the ability to peer into Kyle's mind, this is something he thinks he's known for some time--that doesn't make it any less surprising to hear, his lips parting slightly as if he's going to say something but can't quite find the words.
It's been a strange journey, to love someone after being so convinced that there could have only been Jayce. Viktor still misses him, the wound made fresh by encountering a version of him once again, in a dream. Still, he's surprised by his own clarity of mind, an understanding that he can care for two people equally. That he can want this, with Kyle, just as much as he wanted this with Jayce--and admit to himself that the latter might be an impossibility, at this point.
He reminds himself that it's not wrong, to allow himself this happiness.]
I...I do too. [He starts, in a small sort of voice that indicates he says this very rarely--said it very rarely, even to Jayce.] I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before.
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He finds himself resenting the idea that Kyle thinks he needs a god's permission to live, and keep living. He wonders, perhaps uncharitably, if he might have inadvertently contributed to this, by healing him--but then Kyle comes to the correct conclusion. Viktor smiles, gently.]
You are allowed to live. You do not need anyone's permission.
[I want you to live. The rest of the confession, he doesn't exactly expect. Even without the ability to peer into Kyle's mind, this is something he thinks he's known for some time--that doesn't make it any less surprising to hear, his lips parting slightly as if he's going to say something but can't quite find the words.
It's been a strange journey, to love someone after being so convinced that there could have only been Jayce. Viktor still misses him, the wound made fresh by encountering a version of him once again, in a dream. Still, he's surprised by his own clarity of mind, an understanding that he can care for two people equally. That he can want this, with Kyle, just as much as he wanted this with Jayce--and admit to himself that the latter might be an impossibility, at this point.
He reminds himself that it's not wrong, to allow himself this happiness.]
I...I do too. [He starts, in a small sort of voice that indicates he says this very rarely--said it very rarely, even to Jayce.] I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before.