[All hope aside, Alucard can't help but feel at odds with himself and the way that desire and responsibility always seem to tug him in two different directions. His hands go still, and he hopes Rio won't notice.]

I do as well. And so I'm constantly bouncing between the sense of responsibility to not force anyone else into a new world that will be alien to them, and my desire to keep the life I have here for a lifetime or two. Everyone but Geralt gets a mortal lifetime. I'd find other friends, but then I'll be sitting on the other side of this closed portal wondering what might have been. I'd be doing the same on the other side as well should I return to Wallachia.

[There's one additional detail, something Alucard doesn't feel shy about sharing.]

I saw the castle through the rifts as well. It looks...sad.