[ Before now, he'd have said she needn't say it. That actions mean more than words. Then he hears it, I miss you, too, and he realizes perhaps he needed it said out loud more than he thought. He'd stepped into this plane feeling too fucking fragile and that's not changed, but. Maybe he can be, with her, just for awhile. Maybe that's what he needs, too.
There's nothing else he wants to say, so he simply doesn't. He lays with her, listens to her heart, her breaths. She is tucked around him, and he slides his fingers into the spaces between hers. Slim, soft, next to his own. He drinks in the calm as much as he can—because he understands, they both understand, that their conversation is far from over. That this is not a conclusion. It's a start. A step.
There are still other things he needs to hear. He can't avoid it, even if he wants to.
Eventually, he turns to face her. His hand trails over her arm. ]
I know it was not your intention to endanger her. [ Ciri, he means. His capture nearly led to her discovery. And he can't afford to let that happen again. ] But whatever play you are making with the queen, if it places Ciri at risk, it can't continue. I need to know you understand that.
[ He is not accusing, but where Ciri is concerned—for him, there is no such thing as a worthwhile risk. She's too important for that. She has come to mean too much to him for that. (She still looks towards him for so many things, even with all the years and absence between them. He can't forget the pained, almost hurt, way Ciri asked what Yennefer was doing in Thorne. As though she were expecting the worst. And he knows that Ciri does not trust easily—even less easily than Geralt somehow—but even so. The reaction had been...it's left its mark.)
They've both paid a heavy price, he and Yen. He can't change that. Nothing will fix that. So he just needs to know that it will be worth the weight they carry forward from here on. ]
no subject
There's nothing else he wants to say, so he simply doesn't. He lays with her, listens to her heart, her breaths. She is tucked around him, and he slides his fingers into the spaces between hers. Slim, soft, next to his own. He drinks in the calm as much as he can—because he understands, they both understand, that their conversation is far from over. That this is not a conclusion. It's a start. A step.
There are still other things he needs to hear. He can't avoid it, even if he wants to.
Eventually, he turns to face her. His hand trails over her arm. ]
I know it was not your intention to endanger her. [ Ciri, he means. His capture nearly led to her discovery. And he can't afford to let that happen again. ] But whatever play you are making with the queen, if it places Ciri at risk, it can't continue. I need to know you understand that.
[ He is not accusing, but where Ciri is concerned—for him, there is no such thing as a worthwhile risk. She's too important for that. She has come to mean too much to him for that. (She still looks towards him for so many things, even with all the years and absence between them. He can't forget the pained, almost hurt, way Ciri asked what Yennefer was doing in Thorne. As though she were expecting the worst. And he knows that Ciri does not trust easily—even less easily than Geralt somehow—but even so. The reaction had been...it's left its mark.)
They've both paid a heavy price, he and Yen. He can't change that. Nothing will fix that. So he just needs to know that it will be worth the weight they carry forward from here on. ]