abraxaslogs | [ OPEN / CLOSED ] i think i found a way to kill the sun

Geralt's eyes are fixed on Estinien, like he's trying to decide how much Estinien has absorbed his words. He's not seeking an apology. He isn't even looking for Estinien to grasp where he's coming from. He does not need Jaskier to shed light over his experiences or what lays in his mind on his behalf. The only thing he wants is for Estinien to understand that it isn't about a difference in worlds or philosophy or morals. Part of it, but not most of it. It's that he does not care to act solely upon another's behest, demanded in haste in the heat of the moment. If he chooses to do something, if he finds it necessary, it'll be on his own terms, in his own time, for reasons he owes explaining to no one except those who matter to him.

Whatever he sees in the elf's face, it's enough. "Good."

He looks away again. The matter's been settled; he sees no reason to push at it any further, either, and now that it has, some of his harder edges bleed off a little. Instead, his thoughts turn towards something he's been mulling over ever since his conversation with Himeka. He'd not asked her at the time, given how much they'd been peeling away about each other's spheres, but ever since, he's been reflecting on some of what she's said.

And there is one particular aspect that he cannot shake: "Himeka calls your world a shard. Why is that?"

It's a wearying accord, but it's better than nothing, he supposes. He doesn't find 'don't tell me what to do' a particularly compelling primary objective, and that's as someone who has committed his fair share of disobedience. He himself has avoided being 'drafted' into this or that before, but in the end, he doesn't regret having heard those people out, or having done what was asked of him.

It was important, in the end. His reluctance was more on account of his own foolishness and doubt. Geralt, though, seems to be a man of stubbornness that puts his own days as the Azure Dragoon to shame. He can only imagine how much worse the Warrior of Light's journeys would have gone if everyone only ever did what they wanted and took critical offense being argued with on the subject.

But it's fine, he tells himself. From Jaskier's explanation, it sounds like a series of bad experiences led to this path, and that's not something Estinien thinks he can objectively judge. By the same merit, he has had his own negative experiences impact him greatly. Some things are complicated. He can accept that.

So, he'll try to explain this bit of cosmology to him, even if he's probably the least qualified Scion to be doing so.

"'Tis a part of what was once a greater whole," he says. "There was once one world, occupied by beings of unsurpassed magicks. They created gods to cure their world's ills, and in the end, one of them decided to sunder the realm into fourteen 'shards' to prevent its people from continuing along their path of folly."

At least, that's what he was told, more or less. The source of the Ascians, and also Eorzea's recent apocalypses.

He's already moved past their discussion, unconcerned with how Estinien feels or thinks of him so long as the elf knows to leave his sullen temperament out of Geralt's business. He's got more important things to consider. Namely, not what royals and rulers want to fight over in this world, but what the world itself actually holds. What it means. Because there's something tangible here, something he's not told anyone: that Ciri has, for the first time, stepped into a place she cannot leave and where the Red Riders cannot find her in turn.

Double-edged sword, as it were. He's so fucking tired of mysteries built on myths that are not myths at all.

"That's funny," he says casually. "Mine was created when multiple spheres collided into one."

And when he'd told Himeka, she'd taken on a certain look, asked him how long ago, and then drained her beer with a blank stare. He's beginning to realize why.

Some things are coincidences. He's not so sure this one is. Probably, this warrants another conversation with her—one he'd put aside at the time, waiting for when he had the chance to think it over more. Though it's curious Himeka appears to have left this detail unmentioned to Estinien. Or did she tell him? He looks over again, as if to see what he can confirm without needing to ask.

Whatever concerned Himeka about the notion, it doesn't seem to strike Estinien in the same way. It isn't that he's completely disinterested - that sounds curious, to be sure - but he honestly is more inclined to dismiss it as a coincidence. So many other weird things happen to their star. Why shouldn't it be the same elsewhere?

Estinien is fairly comfortable not understanding things he considers outside of his purview, so while he looks a bit perplexed, it's not on account of any sense of urgency or thirst to figure out the root of the contrast. He's sure the more scholarly types from the Scions would have better theories, but...

"I suppose that isn't surprising, given that mine own world has undergone similar... rejoinings." Or similar enough for Estinien. "Mayhap they were once connected parts of a bygone era? Or perhaps 'tis simply a law of the universe that what can be sundered can also be merged."

If Himeka didn't mention it to him, he'd assume it was because it isn't any weirder than everything else going on in this place.

For a man so keen on being involved out of duty, Estinien is certainly selective about what catches his attention. But then, perhaps Geralt already knew that, from the very start, when the elf had zeroed in on Ambrose as a target, and then Thorne. He makes no remark on the lacklustre response. His impression of Estinien is that of a soldier through and through, with thought for little else other than finding things to fight for or over.

Not that it especially matters. Estinien is free to concern himself with what he will and disregard what he won't. He is not here to dictate another's path. Uncertain and vague as Estinien's answer is, Geralt takes it in carefully, anyway, for what details might be there. And he does find something: similar rejoinings.

Himeka had not mentioned that, though they'd discussed her ability to cross between worlds more than anything. Is that what it is? A continual coming together and breaking apart? He'd talked of the same with Julie, of her shifting land masses, and a pattern is starting to form. Is that what Thorne is so afraid of from the Singularity?

He does not, truthfully, believe a singular structure can bring about the end of the world. There must be more to it than that. But the Conjunction is an undeniable event. So is Himeka's sundering. Knowing what he does, it leaves possibilities open he isn't sure he likes. Something is here that he's missing, and he doesn't know what it is.

He turns towards the path between the mountains that starts to lead out of the domain. His head tips, acknowledging that he's heard what Estinien's said. "Your last rejoining. How long ago was it?"

Edited 2021-12-28 18:07 (UTC)

Estinien frowns to himself, casting his gaze to the grass and trees around them. This, he looks more troubled about. After all, his entire homeland lost much during that time.

"Seven or eight years, by now?"

He realizes now he isn't even sure what world was swallowed to create that calamity - what ascian machinations went into making it happen, on some distant shard. He hasn't liked to contemplate it in too much detail, ever since the concept was explained to him. Untold suffering, in some other plane, and devastation brought to Eorzea itself.

"None of us knew that was what was happening, then. Most still don't." The perspective of the Scions is something mostly world leaders are privy to - not because it's a secret, but because it's so far beyond most people's comprehension of reality. "An entire world and its peoples consumed, even as ours was thrown into chaos..."

There are so many unpleasant questions associated with it. When was the moment that the Source changed? That the murdered souls of another world were forced back into it? it's not the sort of thing he wants to contemplate.

"'Tis not something that happened naturally. 'Twas orchestrated by the remnants of the world that came before. It almost happened again more recently, but Himeka and the others put a stop to it."

As was their way. His faith in them is unquestioned at this point.

"I know not if your world was a similar affair, but with all that I've seen and heard... little surprises me."

What? The startled expression on Geralt's face is unmistakable. He'd thought, at most, hundreds of years. Not less than a fucking decade. He takes a moment, thinking about it, uncertain of where to slot this new piece of information. Give him a minute or thirty.

"Ours occurred over a thousand years ago. There's been little by way of peace since."

Only recently has the Continent started to pull itself together, and that's putting it generously. The only reason there's any cohesion at all is because humans took over, placed themselves in seats of power, mutated children to make them rid the monsters, and then started to fight each other once that was done. There's something incongruous about Estinien telling him he's seen things get better and then inform him his sphere suffered a cataclysm a mere eight winters ago. How the fuck does that even work.

Perhaps it's just not as shattering of an event. A smaller series of Conjunctions rather than a single large one. Estinien said one world consumed, didn't he? Only one. Not several. Something to consider. (Why is there always so damn much to consider.)

Estinien does contemplate that for a moment longer, if only because Geralt looked so shocked by what he'd said. He feels like it'd be a mistake to try to compare the events too directly, when he doesn't know the cause or true extent of the one suffered by Geralt's realm. It sounds like it may have been worse, or at least more chaotic. The most recent calamity had fucked things up, for sure, but it was something society had been able to move on from in a relatively short period of time, no matter what scars were left behind.

"...I take it the... collision of your... spheres... it wrought significant change upon your world?" Even more weird terminology to get used to, great. "Were the other spheres very different from your own?"

If that can even be defined - does Geralt know which sphere his people were from originally? Maybe that's the difference. While the other shards were distinct culturally, they mostly included the same ingredients as the Source, and were being added bit by bit. While things changed, it was more like weather - not fundamental changes to the makeup of reality.

"The Continent's races and monsters were separated until the Conjunction brought them together. They've been destroying each other ever since."

Even now—things are always shifting. Perhaps more so as of late. He left behind Nilfgaard and their ambitions of war, but he's little doubt it's continued on. The truth is, he doesn't know what world awaits him even if the door were to open again. If the Continent will be ashes, or how many of his brothers lived to see the winter. How many would have paid the price for violence begetting violence.

It doesn't make him feel better, seeing the tides turn the same way here. The Singularity is only a small part of things. There are stirrings in the Free Cities since Eifstide—an anger and fear that's been stoked. So far, discontent is all it is, but. He's been keeping an eye on it.

Well, that doesn't sound the same at all. Estinien frowns uncertainly, shaking his head slightly. He hadn't really thought the events were connected before, and now it feels even less likely.

"Sounds like a distinct phenomenon, then," he says. "Nothing new has ever been introduced as a result of rejoining... 'twas from the same source to begin with, after all." Especially not introducing new races. From his understanding, one of the goals of completing the rejoinings would be to wipe out the differences between the races completely.

"The shards are distinct culturally from having been separate so long, but it's all made of the same pieces."

The closest thing he could think of is the voidsent trying to enter their world, but even that isn't really the same. That shard was the same as the others too, apparently, before it was corrupted... but similar events could have unfolded on any shard.

No, it wouldn't be. That would make sense, seeing as they were a singular world broken in several not a multitude of them merging into one. Like piecing together a puzzle, more. It feels like a smaller phenomenon—similar, but not exactly the same. He'd thought, during his conversation with Julie, if the subtle shifts in how each world forms and progresses has to do with its proximity to the Singularity. It's a haphazard theory. For all he knows, the only difference is entirely fucking random.

Either way, he's got new details now, and though he adds little else about the Conjunction—it's simple in concept, complicated in its implications—he seems to be turning it all over in his head.

"So Himeka never actually crossed to another realm." That's a different matter than how he'd first understood her description, when she explained she was the only one capable of moving through a doorway. "She crossed to another piece of the same one."

It's good to know. It means Ciri remains the only one he's aware of who can traverse realms altogether. Not just across shattered pieces of a single one.

Estinien thinks about that and then nods. The terminology for that sort of thing has gotten complicated, as of late, but Geralt's distinction does seem relevant enough to acknowledge.

"Aye. Not in the grand scheme of things, it would seem. We never had cause to consider the idea of traversing to entirely new universes before ending up here. The shards were surprising enough on their own."

He pauses for a moment, and then adds:

"I've sometimes wondered if our worlds are meant to be the shards of the Singularity's whole. 'Twould fit with the Abraxian's conception of it, at least."

As annoying as it is to think about the Source being a shard of an even greater Source. It's all a bit much, really.

What, a world within a world? Like one of those nested dolls? His brows furrow. Perhaps. But it's as Estinien said: his own was never a shard of anything. They're individual worlds, collided and merged into one.

He needs someone else to talk to about this. Who is the problem. Maybe it's worth speaking not to another Summoned, but to someone at the academy in the city. A native of this world, familiar with its history.

The edge of Estinien's domain draws near. He sighs, and it isn't really directed at the elf at all. It's just—every time he learns something new, it spawns a thousand more concerns.

"Thank you for the sheep, I suppose. And the headache."

Estinien can relate to that, at least. He shrugs his shoulders, his wings unfurling, looking up towards the peaks of his artisan mountains. He's not worried about Geralt doing anything to his domain on his way out.

"You're welcome," he says, an expected amount of cheek in his tone. He gestures vaguely at Geralt's entire self. "Good luck with your... situation."

Whatever the hell is going on in Geralt's life he wouldn't know where to start, and it's clearly not desired. So, instead, that's how Estinien bids his farewell, leaping up into the sky and taking wing, circling over the mountains and back towards his flock

[ OPEN / CLOSED ] i think i found a way to kill the sun

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