Estinien can see her disappear inside her own head, a trademark flinch accompanying the vision overwhelming her. He's seen this enough times to understand what's going on... but his gut turns at the idea that she must be witnessing his failure first hand. Along with his injuries, he feels like he's actually going to be ill.
He knows that she can't control it, and so telling her to stop will amount to nothing. Instead, he finds the defeat of it all dragging him down more viscerally. He sinks down, helplessly panting with exertion as his body works on healing.
He can tell when she finally opens her eyes that she did see it, and her words abolish any room left for interpretation. He looks humiliated - completely miserable with the idea. He hadn't sought to underestimate the sorceress, and yet, the alternatives...
"I had..." He coughs hoarsely, and there's blood in his mouth. Thankfully, most of it isn't new at this point. "I had been told she was fierce... but if I were to attack at full power, a mage... not fully aware..."
He knows mages sometimes needed a moment to bring up their full defenses. It was entirely possible that she would rebuke even his most whole-hearted attempt, but the cost of being wrong felt excessive to people who loved her.
"I thought... I was up to the task. A-And yet..."
He knows full well that he's succeeded at nothing, here. He didn't succeed at defeating her, and he didn't succeed at sparing her completely either. There will be trouble, he assumes, and for nothing. Nothing at all.
He was so angry in the moment, when he started to lose, his attacks became more violent, survival becoming paramount. He knows he was wounded when she left, as much as she had cowed him. He's torn between wishing he'd simply struck her with his all from the start, and wishing he'd never engaged at all.
no subject
He knows that she can't control it, and so telling her to stop will amount to nothing. Instead, he finds the defeat of it all dragging him down more viscerally. He sinks down, helplessly panting with exertion as his body works on healing.
He can tell when she finally opens her eyes that she did see it, and her words abolish any room left for interpretation. He looks humiliated - completely miserable with the idea. He hadn't sought to underestimate the sorceress, and yet, the alternatives...
"I had..." He coughs hoarsely, and there's blood in his mouth. Thankfully, most of it isn't new at this point. "I had been told she was fierce... but if I were to attack at full power, a mage... not fully aware..."
He knows mages sometimes needed a moment to bring up their full defenses. It was entirely possible that she would rebuke even his most whole-hearted attempt, but the cost of being wrong felt excessive to people who loved her.
"I thought... I was up to the task. A-And yet..."
He knows full well that he's succeeded at nothing, here. He didn't succeed at defeating her, and he didn't succeed at sparing her completely either. There will be trouble, he assumes, and for nothing. Nothing at all.
He was so angry in the moment, when he started to lose, his attacks became more violent, survival becoming paramount. He knows he was wounded when she left, as much as she had cowed him. He's torn between wishing he'd simply struck her with his all from the start, and wishing he'd never engaged at all.