[ CLOSED ] through open passageways

[gynvael]

Who: Geralt + Various
When: March
Where: Cadens; Horizon
What: Catch-all for things
Warnings: Adding as we go



(( placing starters in the comments below. find me at discontinued or at Noa#1979 to plot stuff! ))

Comments

[funbreaker]

[ Geralt did not pass on to Jaskier that Thancred is a friend of Himeka's from home? He likely shouldn't be surprised, as Geralt seems to be a man of few words. This does seem like significant information that should have been shared, but they can address it now.

She is not a dragon, and he would be happy to explain as much, but 1) Geralt beats him to it, and 2) there is now talk of marriage. More than that, Geralt appears to be taking more issue with Jaskier calling Himeka a dragon than with the whole marriage bit. Surely she would have told Thancred if she'd met someone, if they'd eternally bonded, and this must all be some joke at his expense.

Either way, this development has invigorated him with enough energy that he is able to pick up his pace and catch up to the pair in order to have a proper conversation about it. ]

You're joking, are you not? If Himeka had met someone here and become that serious with them, I am quite certain she would have mentioned it to me when I arrived.

[ While he appears alarmed, his confusion is somewhat blunted by his exhaustion. Still, he does need an answer, and to also add to Geralt's statement. ] And no, she is not a dragon. Her race is called the Au Ra. [ Did she not explain any of this? Well, it is Himeka. ]

[cointosser]

[Jaskier huffs, waving away both of them trying to tell him something that is, obviously, completely untrue.] Joking! Hardly. She's the one who tricked me into it. And I don't know what you're both talking about, she's quite obviously a dragon. She turned into one and ate all my grapes. I don't mean to correct you, but she has a tail. And horns. And hangs out with bloody dragons.

[Is Jaskier suggesting he knows her better than his two compatriots?

Yes. Absolutely. It isn't his problem that Himeka is toying with them about this nonsense.] Or, at least, some sort of dragon-woman hybrid. I didn't ask her about it. I felt it was a sensitive topic, whether the inquiry would bother her or not.

[It would appear either the argument is fueling him with energy again, or simply having Geralt do all the effort of walking.]

[piqure]

[ geralt doesn't offer many answers to most of the questions peter's tossed out. okay, he doesn't offer any answers. maybe it isn't important information right now, he thinks. maybe he'll find that stuff out later anyway (and he should; creatures like that weren't as much of a problem in new york, discounting the aliens, but here...

yet another thing on the study list. it's alright, he had some time.)

but, it seems geralt's attention is caught by a single word and its greeted, at first, by peter's knit-browed confusion. ] He?

[ peter's own mind immediately leaps to dr strange — how can it not? he knew the most about it, after all. a near infallible source for all things magic and multiverse and it is inevitable that that's whose name he thinks of. and, well, following that thread of thought — geralt knows sam, and sam knows strange and so while peter is no stranger at all to making leaps, this one didn't seem like a terribly far one to make. ] — do you mean Stephen? Doctor Strange?

[ the two apples are quickly shoved back into the pack, moved aside for the sake of this conversation. peter steps blindly in some direction across the cliff because the invitation was offered (and not because he has a particular direction he wants to go), attention pivoted to geralt instead. the view can wait longer than his own curiosity can.

even as geralt's question — simple and fair, on the surface level — makes peter's pulse leap into his ears, momentary recollection. ] Ugh — not a whole lot.

Well, I mean - way less than Stephen — but not nothing, either. I don't know how they work. But I know there's a lot them out there — kind of like, an infinite number of timelines and possibilities? [ a thought he tries not to dwell too long on. what-ifs can't change his reality and he can't try that again.

And that um — [ he hesitates, unsure of how to exactly put the sum of his experience into words. it still felt too new, some scars too fresh and losses too close. mistakes that cost him so, so much. things he can't and won't forget (and he will be the only one). ] — well, it's really important keep them from spilling over into one another? That can make things really . . . messy?

[ though, that does remind him of a particularly important point: ] Which is why what this place is doing makes me a little nervous.

[ a small beat, finally taking another look at the sky beyond them, at the unfamiliar landscape, and at the sheer cliffside down to the path he'd taken. a hum. ] What — do you think of it, Geralt?

[gynvael]

Mm-hm. [ Stephen. Like Peter, Stephen was here and then not and then returned. Unlike Peter, Stephen does not recall having ever been in this world, though to Geralt, they are the same man. Merely lacking a few memories of this place.

His gaze flicks to Peter: watching, curious, before it shifts away again. The spike in Peter's heart is noticeable, for him. Geralt decides not to ask, instead listening as they walk over the dusty, rocky ground. Timelines. That's new. Even in his conversation with Stephen, they'd discussed it as a matter of worlds and realms.

He turns the information over in his mind before answering. Other than Sam and Stephen, he's shared his thoughts with almost no one—less because it's a secret, more because going through it each time is a damn nuisance. Stephen grasped it without too much effort, but Sam...Geralt spent a bit more time scrawling on that board of his to explain the significance of monoliths and portals. He can't blame the man. It gives him a fucking headache, too. ]

Monoliths such as the Singularity aren't new. As far as I'm aware, they exist across each sphere, interlinked. Gateways that can be called upon. They make traversing between realms possible where it otherwise would not be.

[ That is his version of what Stephen terms the multiverse. The concept of alternate realities is not a theory that's yet crossed him as a possibility. Not in a way that makes sense to him. ]

[gynvael]

Villentretenmerth did not have a tail in his human form nor horns for ears.

[ He glances over his shoulder at Thancred with a look that suggests further argument will be more futile than climbing these stairs. Some hills are not for them to perish upon. Besides, he assumes if Himeka didn't want to be mistaken as a dragon, she'd have corrected Jaskier. Unless Himeka also does not realize. Which is possible. He likes Himeka, but he also watched her use a variety of magic to open a beer bottle she didn't understand and ultimately burn her mouth on it, so certain aspects of her remain.

Questionable.

Instead, Geralt has a better line of thought to pursue. He isn't serious, but it's difficult to tell given his permanent deadpan. ] How come I wasn't invited to the wedding?

[falcony]

[ sam knows that there is...a lot about geralt, about jaskier, and about ciri's lives that he has no idea about. knows that they have years, decades, of time between them that he probably will never know. it's not the first time he's been here, not the first time he's found a place amongst those who know each other's ins and outs. steve and bucky had been complicated, yes, but they also had decades of friendship too. undying loyalty. numerous experiences that sam would only hear partial comments about, but could feel the weight of in the room.

it doesn't bother him - he supposed that must have been what it was like with him and riley, even if they didn't have the years to back them up. or even if not, it's the fact of where he's found himself for most of his life. he can roll with it, does roll with it, and now when geralt says things like her home was ashes and she killed men and sam just. nods. it builds more of a picture, more of an understanding - who ciri is, what made her the way she is. I just... geralt trails off, and sam fills in. ]

You want better for her. More for her. Right?

[ it's not so hard a jump to make. he feels like he can see it in the line of geralt's shoulders. but what else is there to say? what else can he do? so sam just nods, because while he knows he'll never fully get it, he thinks he might be able to catch the shape. might be able to see the shadow. but it doesn't matter any more than that, because geralt is hurting and isn't sure what to do and yennefer is a part of that, ciri a bigger one, and sam can only just. be there when geralt glances over, catches his eyes before he turns away. he doesn't have to acknowledge it, sam can hear it somewhere in the silence, the pain and the disappointment and just how much it hurts when it's someone that close. who ends up just...letting you down.

( he does think of steve, briefly. it's a flash of a face, of an old man handing off the shield. it seizes up in sam's chest and he has to force himself to breathe around it. )

he snorts, though, at the comment. shakes his head a bit. ah yes, and there is the topic of it, isn't it? the fact that despite his best efforts, ciri still hasn't warmed up to him. ]

Is she? [ sam asks with some honest curiosity intermixed with faux disbelief. he does know geralt is joking, does sense the fondness in it, and sam can meet him there in ways. in others, though, he has genuinely been confused by it - not quite sure what it is he's doing wrong. ] See- the alcohol has never been the issue. She'll take that from me whenever. It's her being okay with me buying it for her.

[ he downs the rest of his cup with a kind of laugh, shaking his head as he reaches it out for geralt to refill. ]

You were so much easier to win over.

[gynvael]

[ Yeah. He does. He wants the things he never had for Ciri. Like a future. A family built on more than blood and loss and horrific memories. They're not thoughts he knows how to put into words. It's not as though he resents the family he had. He doesn't. They're some of the most important people to him. He loves them. But he knows what they are, too. The way they were raised and shaped. The ugly edges of it all.

He looks over at Sam. His expression softens. The teasing glint fades into something more thoughtful. He knows Sam's been trying. He also knows Ciri is young. She hasn't got the decades he has. He remembers being like her, once. Mistrustful and too quick to bite. (Sometimes he still is.) ]

You didn't win me over with kindness and charm, Sam. You earned it because you trusted me with what you found important.

[ His home, Bucky. The quiet confessions about his family. Sam let him in, before Geralt ever did so in return. And though he's not been privy to Sam's conversations with Ciri, something tells him Sam may not have done so with her quite as much, if at all. Which he understands. For Sam, he undoubtedly considers it a burden. Perhaps that's what it is, too, but for people like them, it's also—an understanding. That they are all suffering, trying to move forward the only way they understand. Truthfully, Geralt isn't sure he'd be where he is with Sam if he hadn't seen Sam nearly break down over his missing friend, or the aching melancholy of his family home, or the visions they shared together. Sam might be an ally, someone he would consider reaching out to if need be, but he would not be this. A friend.

Ciri just needs time. But she also needs someone willing to trust her, too, rather than simply looking after her. He knows she can look after herself. He did teach her, after all. Whatever else—she seems to have absorbed those lessons well. ]

[piqure]

[ peter does his best to follow along. geralt is a man of few words — he's grasped that quickly enough from their short exchanges prior. which means there's weight to whatever words he does choose to say. he's learned that too.

so when he answers, peter tries to follow along with a rapt sort of attention. new vocabulary for what he assumes is the same thing, and for every thread offered peter does what is in his very habit and swings right for it.

monoliths, he says, naming the singularity as such. it sounds like it holds more significance than peter's definition of monolithic structure, confirmed as he continues. spheres — that can sound like a synonym for multiverses, if you think about them like bubbles, maybe? and gateways are like portals, like what dr strange can do. he's remarkably with you so far, geralt. he thinks. maybe he's also glimpsed sam's conspiracy board a few times over. ] So — you're saying that each of our universes — or um, spheres? That's what you mean by that, right? — have physical gates?

So that means that other beings from different places can get through... [ isn't that idea kind of a bad thing? peter huffs. ]

I just — recently, in my world, multiverses kind of blended over into one another and a lot of magic was needed to fix it — [ don't think about it for too long, peter. ] — but that's the thing, here, I think? I'm not sure what we're trying to fix. Because there's these three different places, that all seem to want us for really different reasons? [ he thinks back to the summit, to the vastly different ideals of each leader. ]

Sorry, [ he supplies, after a short moment. ] — I feel like I'm playing catch up. The board you and Sam did was actually really helpful. [ :') ]

[rinwell]

[ The day she does, there will be loud gasps, and much back patting, no doubt. Until then, however, she'll be sure to let them know if they've said something she doesn't like. ]

Oh. [big places, bigger because they've grown empty. What homes she'd had growing up had never been big (they'd been lucky to be small, in fact) but a part of her can almost imagine it.] That has to be hard.

[ The new apartment's location will take a little getting used to. Rinwell almost turns off the path back towards their old place out of habit part way along, and has to quicken her steps to catch up again. It's not a bad place, though. A far better place to lay low than she'd ever had on Dahna.

Once through the door, she holds it open in turn for Geralt; easier for carrying in the wood. ]

Where are the tools kept here?

[ She can fetch them! ]

[funbreaker]

[ Tricked into it? In that case, Thancred can only assume that it is not a proper marriage and that Himeka had simply been having some fun. He will ask her about it after the fact, if only because he's curious. It does sound like an entertaining story if nothing else. ]

Wait. She turned into—

[ Around that point is when Thancred catches Geralt's look, a clear warning that there will be little progress made if he tries to argue with Jaskier further. Himeka had likely decided to simply let Jaskier believe what he wanted as well, as it's not like she would take any umbrage with being related to dragons, given her fondness for them.

The conversation has shifted to a different point of contention, based on Geralt's question. Thancred's curious to see how it plays out, and yet he also can't help but notice... ]

Oh, thank the gods. We're almost to the top. [ The final landing waits a flight of stairs above them, along with a door that will lead them to some final destination. He doubts it will prove to have been worth all the effort, but the simple fact that their suffering is over will have to be enough of a reward. ]

[gynvael]

[ Geralt absolutely has a habit of speaking as though everyone has the same context he does. Peter fills in the blanks on his own, and Geralt as a result simply nods. That's essentially it. ]

It's how monsters came to exist to ours. [ He says this as though it were not a crisis that struck his world, but a fact of being. He glances over his shoulder. Right. The board Sam insisted upon. Peter may or may not have narrowed down which handwriting belongs to him; it's the only one that looks as though it comes from someone who, well. Fits into this time period. ] You're keeping up fine. And I don't know if anyone of them yet realize the Singularity has the potential to open portals in multitude. Not sure I want them to.

[ Even he isn't sure it's a possibility, but he can't see how it wouldn't be. It's the same concern he held, when he spoke to Strange: how to determine what it is these territories do know, without accidentally granting them any brilliant ideas like, say...the concept of pulling from an endless well of monsters and entities to weaponize them in this brewing war. They're already attempting it with the Summoned, here, but it's clear they're limited by needing the Summoned to, mm. Be willing, he supposes. To a certain degree. Otherwise, why would they have not shown a stronger hand already, coercing them to do what's needed? ]

You said yours blended?

[falcony]

[ sam can almost feel the wanting from geralt. whether it's in the air, or just being able to sense what it is he means by it, but the weight settles over sam's shoulders and he feels himself nod. because he gets it, he gets it, and he wishes there was literally anything else he could say to ease some of that away.

that's when he catches geralt's eyes and sees the way his expression softens, and it's not that the softer look is surprising to him - if anything, he's seen geralt's expression shift like this plenty of times before (mostly because it's something sam looks for, and sees) - but more so that he hadn't entirely been expecting it directed back to him. he can recognize it for what it is - that geralt can tell there is some part of him that really is still hung up on this, on the distrustful way ciri regards him.

sam takes the effort to squash the way, instinctually, he almost pushes back. almost laughs again, almost waves it off. he knows geralt would not only see through it, but wouldn't have appreciated it either. not when he's also taking the effort to talk about it too. so instead, sam just exhales. nods, once. ] Yeah, I know. [ it had been a lighthearted joke, something that has come up before - the way sam charmed geralt into their friendship, how he wasn't scared of another broody, quiet, wolf-themed man. but the only reason the joke worked at all was because the two of them knew. that it was more than that, that it had always been more than that.

and geralt's right - sam hasn't bridged that gap with ciri. not in the way he did with geralt, or even jaskier. part of sam knows the reason why, why it's been harder. why he hasn't done it the same. because for all that ciri is grown, that the ciri who runs around cadens with the rest of them is older, part of him - a subconscious part, maybe - still sees the shadow of the girl in the horizon. in the exact same way that if he's alone in his own horizon domain, he can almost hear the sounds of aj and cass laughing upstairs.

for a moment, he just sort of lets that sit before sam comes to come sort of conclusion. some decision. he downs the rest of the cup and leans forward, his elbows on his knees - not quite looking like he's going to stand, necessarily, but like he is about to do something. ] Speaking of- [ and it's not ciri he means to get into, but the later part of what geralt had said. about trusting him with what sam found important. sam waits, thinking, knowing that geralt won't rush him before he gets to it, before he finally speaks. ]

Steve's gone, by the way. I know you didn't really know him yet, but.

[ fuck this, sam thinks, feeling a sudden - almost overpowering - feeling of loss sweep through him again. he's already done this. he's already gone through this. he swallows, reaching for the bottle. ]

[gynvael]

Mm. [ The sound is not dismissive, just acceptance. ] It's been a long time.

[ He slows a little for Rinwell to catch up when she veers off path, before continuing onward. She reminds him, in more than a few ways, of a Ciri he feels as though he knew only yesterday but who is in reality from years ago now in this world. It isn't the whole reason he's grown fond of Rinwell nor even the main one, but. There's something to it, too.

The door opens, and he slips through. ] By the— [ he shuffles the wood. ] —cabinet window.

[ She'll find tools rolled up in a leather pouch, a few of which he borrowed from Jaskier's necromancer paramour. Geralt sets the wood down on the floor, an empty space by the hearth they now have. He has little by way of true artisan skills, but he knows enough carpentry to nail some rectangles of wood to a wall and make sure it holds. He figures Rinwell may as well learn while she's here, too, and it's clear he's waiting for her to return before he begins. ]

[gynvael]

[ Less the topic, in truth, that has Geralt looking at Sam a second or two longer. He can sense it, something in the air, either from instincts long honed or because he simply knows Sam that well now. Doesn't matter which, but he can feel it all the same.

He lets the quiet settle. Goes back to his drink, pours himself another. The half-constructed bed lays sprawled on the ground, pushed to the side, and he knows as soon as Sam leaves, he'll likely go back to it or some other work he's made for himself until late into the night. It isn't only all the shit that's happened which occupies his mind. It's also...not guilt, not quite, but something close. The knowledge, the understanding, that although he chose to remain in Cadens for the remainder of the month—stay close to everyone who might need him—he can't say part of him doesn't itch to get back on his horse and ride out. This feeling, it isn't one he's had to confront before. He hasn't ever had anyone that might keep him home—never even had a home to be kept there at all—and now suddenly he does.

So this is how he's been dealing with it, alongside everything else.

When Sam says Steve's gone, his attention snaps up. What? Fuck. When? (Already? It's been, what. Less than a month?) He hardly knew Steve, it's true, but much like Lloyd, that isn't the point. The man was important to Sam. He understands. How much it hurts when someone you love is taken away. He hates that it's been happening more and more. That uncertainty, hovering over all of them. No matter how long you've learned to live with it, it becomes no easier. ]

Feels like bullshit every time.

[ He means more than this. More than Steve, more than vanishing bodies from this sphere. It's everything, watching blood spill, waiting for people who do not come home. Wondering why you even bothered waiting at all, but you do. And deep down, he simply does not know when his turn will come. He can't live his life waiting for the worst, but...each time yet another disappears, he can't help but ask: when will he wake to find that Ciri is no longer of this world? ]

[cointosser]

As far as I know. Of course, you didn't let me see him as a fucking dragon.

[There's only a little heat in the words; perhaps most would be wise to not bring up such old, dead arguments in front of strangers, but -- at this point, it's more teasing than anything, especially when it matters so little.

Damn. He hasn't thought about it. Where has Borch Three Jackdaws gone now? Away from humanity, he suspects. As far as he can go.

Jaskier wiggles his legs, stretching them out as much as he can in Geralt's arms. He's starting to stiffen up after being carried so long.] Anyway, yes, she turned into this little -- I thought it was a snake, honestly, but she had legs. Very cute. And I did not invite you because there was no wedding -- which is not to say I would have invited you if there was, I'm only saying there wasn't. It was very abrupt, a few words exchanged, she gave me a scale. Very proper.

[The more he talks about it the less sure he is that that happened, though. As if the Horizon had him dream it up. Is Himeka going around telling people they're married? He should've asked.

He looks up above them with Thancred's realization, rolling his shoulder as much as he's able.]

Fuck. Finally. Shall we start taking bets on what we'll find? I'll put down a bag of coins and a honey cake it's absolutely nothing at all.

[gynvael]

[ Uh-huh. He does not point out that he didn't prevent Jaskier from doing anything. Jaskier was simply asleep. Which was for the best; men were roasted, a lot. Happened.

He looks up while Jaskier is mid-explanation regarding the wedding. The not-wedding, apparently, because he's fairly certain Himeka giving Jaskier a scale is not a declaration of marriage, but what the fuck does he know? He's been climbing for ten minutes, carrying Jaskier for half that time, and he's about done.

He sets Jaskier down with a grunt as they reach the very top. Moglad twirls above them.

Geralt steps aside for Thancred to join them. He indicates the door waiting. ] Want the honours?

[funbreaker]

[ What Thancred is quickly learning is that Jaskier seems to make up for all the words that Geralt chooses not to speak. They are more or less opposites in that way, but the best of friends do often mirror each other like this, so it makes sense to him.

Himeka is definitely not capable of turning into a little snake with legs in most cases, so Thancred can only assume this supposed marriage happened in the Horizon. That's yet another point against its legitimacy.

As Jaskier's set down, Thancred steps up to him, giving him a quick once-over before announcing, ] Well, simply know that if you break her heart, there will be consequences. [ He follows it up with a smile. Is he serious or joking? It's a bit difficult to say.

Geralt's granting him the honor of opening the door to see what their prize is for their hard work. ] That's not a bet I'm willing to take. [ With that, he steps up to the open the door, which leads them into...

Some sort of wide open room. Thancred steps in, and while there is plenty of space and some consoles that look like they might do something, there isn't much more to it. It almost looks like it's a place where people would spar or train.

He turns back to the other two as they follow him in. ] As we feared, this is startlingly underwhelming.

[cointosser]

[Jaskier gives a huff as he's set down, straightening his coat and his shirt (which is precisely flat and unwrinkled, as it always is in the Horizon), giving Moglad a look before he raises his hand and lets the moogle high-five him.]

I told you he would. [Is all he says, ominously, before turning to Thancred with a laugh.]

Oh, that's cute. Well, I'll have you know I am not a heartbreaker. IF anything, I am the heartbreak-ee.

[It's a point he makes rather firmly, stepping back with Geralt. Usually he would take the honor himself, but he's started gossiping with Moglad already, where he can heard asking: Wait, you remember, don't you? It was definitely a marriage. Right? I'm not caught up on dragon rituals -- with Moglad's response, and a soft pat on his head with a paw, of Of course, Master Jaskier as if he didn't quite believe Jaskier himself.

Everyone is against him.

He smacks Moglad's paw away (gently, of course) and turns to follow Thancred into the room, where he ends up looking around, his hands on his hips.]

A most disappointing denouement. [He pauses.] You know, I'm filled with the urge to destroy some of these. Completely unrelated to all of the stairs we just went up, of course.

[And even as he says it, Moglad's body is enclosed in dark, pointed armor, his greatsword drawn seemingly out of thin air as he readies himself.] Is that rude? That's probably rude.

[falcony]

[ sam feels geralt's eyes snap back to him the second the words leave his mouth. he doesn't meet them, his own attention very pointedly on the bottle, on his cup, and then once he's refilled the mug, on the cup still as he sits back in his chair. it's a strange place, really - feeling less like he is trying to avoid geralt's expression and more that he just. isn't sure what he's feeling, himself.

because it's complicated, and he doesn't know how to begin to unravel it. before, he'd always had something to do. somewhere to go. between his time in the service to his work at the va to whatever it was he wanted to call his life after. there was always something to turn to, which riley died. when it was his dad, his mom. grief was never linear, he knew that, but he also knew what that beast felt like. looked like. he knew how to keep going.

this - this is something else entirely. he hadn't realized what it would look like, when bucky first disappeared. hadn't realized what this could even be. but then there was tony stark. then there was lloyd, there was julie breaking down because there was nowhere for them to go and then it steve.

steve.

sam is quiet for the moments following. geralt says feels like bullshit every time and sam almost huffs a laugh at that. yeah, it does. and he knows it does. he's been through enough of this, enough of these, some with geralt and some alone in his apartment, unable to contact, unsure of what even happens, after. peter had gone home, he had more memories and he came back remembering all of it. but was that the rule? a coincidence? was that something else? and just as geralt's thoughts adjust to it, sam's are never far off - who will be next? how long will it take? why? ]

He's- [ he's gone, back home doesn't really feels like it covers it. doesn't feel like it really explains anything at all. sam finally takes a sip from the mug. tries to force himself to exhale, to take another step. ]

It's just weird. [ what is he trying to say? sam feels himself stumbling a bit, unsure of where to start, of what he's trying to say. geralt won't push him, won't ask questions really, digging into the heart of it because that's just not who he is. sam knows this. it's part of why he finds himself coming here, why he's saying any of this at all. ]

I already grieved him, you know. Back home. [ it's said distantly, distracted, more to himself than to geralt. every day had been a different decision, a different moment, where sam felt like he was just learning how to walk. he made decisions to the best he could, and then had to face the consequences of them. steve left so much behind, beyond just that shield, and sam had been neck deep in all of them before he'd even taken it back. sam exhales, again, and it almost sounds like a sigh. ] I was cleaning up everything he left behind, when I was pulled through the well. I had moved on. [ as best as he knew how, yes, but that was part of it. acceptance - knowing that it was over, that all of it was over, and you'd never see them again. he'd given up that shield and then gotten it back, he'd taken on the name, cap, like it was his. steve's shadow was hug, all encompassing, captain america, and sam had been able to get that far in it at all because he knew he had to. because if he didn't, then the spot would be taken by someone else.

except now, what? he should be prepared at any moment? to see him again, yes, but to lose him too? ]

I feel like I'm starting over.

[gynvael]

[ Told you he would. Geralt's eyes narrow between Jaskier and the moogle. Wait—

Oh, fuck it. He leans against the wall, head tipped back. Listens to Moglad and Jaskier whisper about the sham marriage to Himeka. When Thancred and Jaskier enter, Geralt doesn't even bother to follow, just turns his head to look into what is, as they have both declared, an utter fucking disappointment. Not that he expected anything else. Actually, nothing's crawled out to bite them in half, so as far as entrances to unknown locations go, this may be dull but at least no one's had a chunk taken out of them for their troubles.

He reaches out and confiscates Moglad's sword before the moogle can enact destruction upon the domain. ]

I'd rather not incite personal vendettas where unneeded. [ Is there a book? Perhaps they can inscribe their name and a note. Stairs evenly paced. Shit view at the top. ] Can we go?

[ Although going means...returning down the stairs they only just went up. Fuck. Has this place got another route? Is it truly just fucking stairs? ]

[gynvael]

[ Isn't that the thing? What the fuck is there to say? He's done it so often, not just amongst friends, family, but strangers. Walking through villages ravaged by plague or men or some beast, and there are times he isn't even wanted—not for being a Witcher, but simply because he is not needed in their eyes. What can he offer, by killing, when everyone they love has already been stolen?

He knows what some tell themselves here. That the ones they've lost have returned back home. The truth is, Geralt doesn't believe it true—perhaps doesn't want to. He knows there have been a small handful who've returned with their memories intact, but in some ways, the finality of they are gone is easier for him to swallow than imagining they simply went home, safe and sound. It sounds so damn pleasant for what is a painful thing. Is it selfish? To want to prefer to think them lost forever than to let that small possibility linger, that they may return only to be taken once more? Does it matter? A part of him thinks those left behind deserve to be selfish where the dead and gone are concerned. They're the ones who pick up the pieces.

It's as though I've not made any fucking peace at all, he said to Sam once, and he hears it echoed back to him when Sam tells him now, I feel like I'm starting over. ]

I thought her dead. For months. [ He does not clarify who he means by her, but there can really only be one person he's speaking of. ] When I heard she was alive, when she found me, it felt too fucking good to be true. And then she— [ Betrayed us. Fucked me over. Broke my heart again. ] Visenna did the same. The woman who...gave birth to me. Showed up a hundred years later.

[ Then vanished, as she had all those decades ago. It should've felt like closure, facing her, but it hadn't. Just reopened old scars.

He pauses, turning his words over in his head. He's never said a word about Visenna before now to Sam, and he gives no further details. ] Sometimes we have to make our peace, with the thought that it may have hurt less had the ones we grieved not returned to our lives.

[ It's not that he wishes he never knew either of them were alive. Existing out there. It isn't that cold, isn't that simple. It's more that...fuck. Their reappearance was painful. In a different way than the losses, but wounds are wounds. You nurse them all the same. He understands, maybe, how much it throws you when someone you'd started to move past comes back to wrench your life off course. How you inevitably begin to wonder, deep down, if your heart might be a little less broken had they stayed gone. ]

[funbreaker]

[ It's a bit odd that Jaskier so proudly claims that he's usually the one to have his heart broken. Thancred chooses to not speak to how many hearts he may or may not have broken in the past, well aware of his misdeeds — even if they had usually been carried out for a good cause. It's all water under the bridge by now, in any case.

It's simple enough for Thancred to more or less tune out Jaskier's chatter with the moogle while he explores the rather uninteresting room that they've found. While there is a thin hope that there will be something of use to uncover here, that is quickly dashed. It's possible the equipment here will do something, but he's not certain any of them care enough to try right now. He's still recovering from that climb himself, and the idea of going all the way back down isn't thrilling him.

What does catch his attention is when Moglad suddenly manifests armor and a sword that's almost as large as his body. It's not the first time that Thancred's seen moogles attempt to fight, but he's gaping at this all the same. It's absurd. ] Is he a dark knight? [ Thankfully, Geralt nips any potential property damage in the bud. Thancred looks to him and manages not to smile at the image of a very stern man holding a very small greatsword. It looks more like an ornate steak knife in his hand. ] Yes, I'm fine to leave this awful place, but hold on...

[ Having wandered to the other side of the large room, opposite from the door that they used to enter from the stairwell, Thancred sees another set of metal double doors, with a button next to them. ] Is this a lift? [ He feels his stomach drop. Could they have used this the entire time? Why in gods' name did they take the stairs, then?

With a long sigh, he pushes the button and then immediately hears the response of machinery far below humming into life. He drags a hand down his face as he waits for their ride out of here to arrive. ]

[falcony]

[ sam isn't entirely sure what there is to believe. the larger part is latching onto evidence - on to the fact that peter did come back and remember, that bucky has been here twice and that can't be a coincidence, and then tony and wanda and. steve. he needs to believe that they go home because he needs to believe there's a next step for all the people he's already lost.

but he also knows better. with the multiverse at play here, with the possibilities extending in every possible direction for infinity, there's no way to prove any of this will have anything to do with what is at home. sam could either leave and be right back in delacroix, or he could never see his sister, or nephews, ever again. because he could just be one of millions, of billions, of versions.

the steve that showed up, the steve he saw, could have easily been the same steve he set off on that platform. or it could have been any of the billions of others. and yet sam can't stop thinking about it like he was the same one. and that's not fair, is it? that some version that isn't even his-

( and yet even now he can hear his mom, his sister - does that really matter? yours or not? be kind to them all, open your heart to them, be who you are. the rest will fall into place. )

when geralt speaks, sam does finally look up over to him. can hear yennefer's name, even when he doesn't speak it. there's a complicated layer added onto everything he just sort of knows when it comes to yennefer, now. knowing she was thought to be dead. knowing that she obviously isn't. it catches on somewhere in sam's chest. he almost speaks on it, mentions it, but then geralt continues. mentions a visenna and...oh. sam thinks back to that conversation they had back on his horizon, the way geralt had tensed, hadn't engaged, in any mention of mothers. now, as he says gave birth to me, sam sees more of the puzzle pieces fit into place.

a hundred years.

sam opens his mouth, and then closes it again, because he's not exactly sure what he wants to say. he thinks he gets what geralt is saying, thinks he understands that...yes. it would have been easier if steve just never showed back up. it would have been easier if sam knew that there was no going back, so he just had to move on. let go. it's what he told bucky to do, after all - to find closure. ]

I think it's also about the choices they make- to leave. Yennefer, Visenna... [ sam gestures, vaguely, implying they made their choices. ] Steve did, too. But it's- [ sam tenses, cutting himself off as his eyes go back to his drink. how does he even explain this? how does he explain any of it? for a few moments geralt can probably tell that sam is thinking, considering his words, before he finally lets out a sigh and sets down his cup. leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. ]

Back home, I left him, in a way. Steve. I guess I kind of...died. But wasn't my choice. [ he figures might as well, and jumps into it, face shifting to a kind of darker laughter as he shakes his head. ] Hell, half the fucking universe stopped existing for five years and I was part of it- but I did. And he got me back, and I thought maybe we would have the chance to talk about it. About anything. Because I know what those five years did to him, I know how it feels to be left behind. [ if there is something tight and a little shaky around those last few words, sam doesn't acknowledge them. pushes by. ]

But in the end, he had a job to finish, and he made his choice. [ it nearly overwhelms him - the regret of not just asking him. how steve had been around for days, weeks, and sam just never got to it. his eyes are hard on the cup he left on the table between them, letting the feeling of it rise and then settle somewhere in his chest.

because sam has spent months, over a year now he guesses, trying to figure it out for himself. steve's reasons, steve's choices. he understands the shield, bucky made that piece clear enough, but it's the rest of it. all of it. sam sighs again. ]

[piqure]

[ it's how monsters came to exist in ours, and geralt says this so matter-of-factly, there's no illusion of it being some world-ending problem that would have needed to be addressed quickly.

it's been — interesting, learning about other's universes, to say the least. and its hard not to wonder at what a world like that is like. it seemed like geralt was — well, kind of in his element, here. were his world and this one similar already? magic and swords and castles?

there's a frown, at the thought of multitudes of portals though, as all the other questions are shoved to the sidelines as he instead shakes his head, adamant. ] No — no I don't think I'd want them to know about that either.

[ a quickly forming frown. ] — which means its likely going to be a question of when and not just if...

[ countless portals means countless possibilities. and what if they don't just pull Summoned from these things? what if it's more than that? thoughts seem to run in parallel with geralt's own, until they fumble, and he shoots him a quick glance.

there's another spike of nerves, heightened apprehension inevitable at the question. its fair, he reasons. they're sharing info, that's all and if there's talking universes (or spheres!) then it makes sense as a follow up where peter only meant it to be a passing comparison. ] Yeah, sort of. As - far as I understand it. [ but he isn't sure how to explain without the details and he's off, with a sigh, before he can think of a better way. ] It didn't last long, but it had started to bring everyone who knew — um — [ a beat of hesitation, heart racing. how could he possibly separate the weight of his mistakes with the outcome? partially, he wishes he hadn't brought it up. ] — well, me. Or versions of, of who I was, I guess, all over different multiverses. [ he still remembers the new york sky tearing through, like fabric, reality disjointed and spilling out more and more. he's the only one who remembers that, he reminds himself. he offers a shrug. ] So then we had to...undo that. I think it's back to normal now.

The point is — the point is all this portal and multiverse stuff seems to be really. Fragile? [ is the finishing conclusion. ending it strong. :/ ]

[gynvael]

[ When and not if. Effectively. The Free Cities makes it difficult to learn much about the Singularity. They've not studied it as Thorne does, and Geralt isn't the sort to go underhand and pretend he wants to do what's best for the city in order to be granted permission to examine its nature in-depth. It'll gain scrutiny, either way. For the time being, he's relied on the small handful of allies he's made in Thorne.

He looks over. There's more to it, what Peter isn't saying. Versions of who I was. A beat passes. How he understands their presence in this world intertwines so closely with Ciri, noting it out loud is impossible without acknowledging what Ciri can do. That she can bring them along, one sphere to another, like opening a portal from one end of the Continent to the next. But as far as he's aware, should he return home, he would have to take Jaskier and Ciri and Yennefer as they are here with him. He would not return to Ciri awaiting him to still find her. Peter seems to be suggesting otherwise, which opens up so many fucking questions, he isn't certain where to start.

Might be better to ask Stephen of it. Peter's clearly skirting details for a reason. Instead, Geralt circles back to a point Peter brought up five steps ago in the conversation. ]

Thorne is the only one who believes there's something to be fixed. They fear the Singularity's waning power is consuming worlds one by one to preserve itself. A tree, shedding its leaves. [ He steps over a scuttling lizard. ] The Free Cities simply wishes to dismantle the structure altogether. But none of them can access the Horizon as we can. What agenda they may have, I think all of them need us for our unique connection.