[Mat looks up in vague confusion, as though he can't quite fathom the question.]
That I am! I can't be the Dragon, I can't. I am...a very poor choice indeed. The Dragon's supposed to be the most powerful channeler of the age, who'll stand against the Dark One. Put me in front of the Dark One and I promise you, I will not stand against him, I will shit myself and run.
[And that's the best case scenario, but Mat doesn't exactly feel like explaining he also may well just...be swayed by the darkness. He's not an idiot. He knows why Moiraine was worried, he knows why she lost her temper with him in Tar Valon. She's not even wrong. Shadar Logoth got into him for a reason. He opened himself up to that.
And now here he is, in a strange world and manifesting the abilities he's been afraid of, with no one to turn to for help. Except, perhaps, Lady Yennefer.]
I am not strong enough, I am not good enough, and I don't know enough about channeling and the one power to even make use of what I can do. It's all...erratic, without thought or intent. And if it's me that's tainted, then it doesn't matter anyhow, I am fated to being a mindless danger to all around me. I...I do not want to become that. I will do anything I have to not to become that.
[He isn't sure how that works, either. If he was born with something in him that brings that madness, or if it's a part of the magic itself. If the latter...then maybe he can learn to use it. If it's the former...well, maybe there's something that can be done.]
I know I've done nothing to endear myself to you, but I don't know where else to turn.
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That I am! I can't be the Dragon, I can't. I am...a very poor choice indeed. The Dragon's supposed to be the most powerful channeler of the age, who'll stand against the Dark One. Put me in front of the Dark One and I promise you, I will not stand against him, I will shit myself and run.
[And that's the best case scenario, but Mat doesn't exactly feel like explaining he also may well just...be swayed by the darkness. He's not an idiot. He knows why Moiraine was worried, he knows why she lost her temper with him in Tar Valon. She's not even wrong. Shadar Logoth got into him for a reason. He opened himself up to that.
And now here he is, in a strange world and manifesting the abilities he's been afraid of, with no one to turn to for help. Except, perhaps, Lady Yennefer.]
I am not strong enough, I am not good enough, and I don't know enough about channeling and the one power to even make use of what I can do. It's all...erratic, without thought or intent. And if it's me that's tainted, then it doesn't matter anyhow, I am fated to being a mindless danger to all around me. I...I do not want to become that. I will do anything I have to not to become that.
[He isn't sure how that works, either. If he was born with something in him that brings that madness, or if it's a part of the magic itself. If the latter...then maybe he can learn to use it. If it's the former...well, maybe there's something that can be done.]
I know I've done nothing to endear myself to you, but I don't know where else to turn.