Exactly? Why didn't he try using his blood magic even after the initial week has passed? That's a pretty loaded question, and Kell hesitates if he really wants to give an answer to that. But they are doing well... and he feels that would cut the conversation short.

"I got myself into a trap set by an old enemy and --" How do you even describe it. The horror, the fear, all the hopelessness of this situation. "and I almost lost it. To be honest, I thought I really did."

Having his magic ripped out of him was the most painful experience of his life. Second only to feeling Rhy's heart slowing down with every second passing because of it. Knowing what this means.

"The first week when I couldn't use it, I almost thought I've lost it completely. So I think I'm just more cautious now."

When it comes to magic, Kell can be called an expert without exaggeration. He didn't learn how to harness the power of his talent only because he had to. He truly, genuinely liked it.

"There are special words, commands, in the Antari language that work to direct magic to certain results. Though, I don't really like the word commands for them. I've never thought about them as orders. For me, it's more like a conversation with magic yielding to me not because I made it obey by force, but because of who I am and that I ask politely."

That's where Holland's words hit him the hardest. How he never needed to be strong, never needed to truly fight for what he wanted. Half-truths, but no less painful for that.

It seems there are topics where he can be pretty eloquent. Small talk, pleasantries, politics don't cut it, but magic? He can talk about magic.

"Fortunately, no one was insane enough to ask me to give a speech."