But that's the thing. I've been special before. I've been the one who had what no else did. It was fuckin' awful, Jesper, and it's not worth it. I don't... I don't think I can go through somethin' like that again. Bein' special is bullshit when it's stuff like this.

[ Because that's all she can think of. She was special, she was immune, and she was the only survivor for hundreds of miles in any direction. And then Flagg had told her she was special again, made her believe it, and it turned out to be nothing but a lie that cost her stupid, special life.

And then Thorne pulled her out of the well. It had been terrifying and infuriating to be told then that she was a mistake, an accident, but some part of her had also been relieved. For once, she wasn't special. She didn't have to grapple with that weight. She was just a mistake.

Only for that to be a lie, too. Or just wrong information, rather -- Julie genuinely doesn't think Thorne knew about her connection when they locked her up. But she's still the one who has to deal with it. ]

I don't believe the Singularity wants to hurt me. I don't think it really wants to hurt any of us. But I think it's akin to sayin' that a volcano doesn't want to hurt you. Of course it doesn't. But it will either way.