[ The thing is, Jesper is trying to be supportive, but this actually is something he understands on a fundamental level. ]
Saints, I really do get that. Being special in my world, sometimes people think they want it, but they don't. It ruins your life, being Grisha. My mother used to tell me it was a blessing, and then she died because of it. And I spent the rest of my life being afraid.
[ Jesper thinks it's funny that everyone believes the Grisha are so powerful, when they're powerless in so many ways. They have abilities but they're controlled or hunted in every possible avenue. The Second Army existed because the Darkling managed to persuade the Ravkan royals they could use the Grisha instead of murder all of them, but it was never for sure. He can be the perfect shot but he knew every day that he couldn't shoot an entire Fjerdan army if they wanted him.
It's difficult, admitting to that, because being afraid is cowardly, or at least in his experience his fear led him to be a coward. Avoiding his powers made him ill, and he picked the illness over acknowledging them. It's not good. He didn't ask to be this way, and up until the day he left Ketterdam to come here, he still didn't feel well. Not yet. Jesper hadn't been able to talk about his mother at all before the memory event, when he was forced to remember her. ]
It wasn't until I came here that I stopped. Because I met you and all of our little gang here. This whole situation is insane but I don't feel alone in it. And I know it's embarrassingly cheesy, but I hope you remember that you're not either.
[ Jesper is someone who has always sought family, sought connections, sought love. He found all of them even in this strange place, and maybe he's drunk or high or whatever else, but he's being honest about what it means to him. ]
no subject
Saints, I really do get that. Being special in my world, sometimes people think they want it, but they don't. It ruins your life, being Grisha. My mother used to tell me it was a blessing, and then she died because of it. And I spent the rest of my life being afraid.
[ Jesper thinks it's funny that everyone believes the Grisha are so powerful, when they're powerless in so many ways. They have abilities but they're controlled or hunted in every possible avenue. The Second Army existed because the Darkling managed to persuade the Ravkan royals they could use the Grisha instead of murder all of them, but it was never for sure. He can be the perfect shot but he knew every day that he couldn't shoot an entire Fjerdan army if they wanted him.
It's difficult, admitting to that, because being afraid is cowardly, or at least in his experience his fear led him to be a coward. Avoiding his powers made him ill, and he picked the illness over acknowledging them. It's not good. He didn't ask to be this way, and up until the day he left Ketterdam to come here, he still didn't feel well. Not yet. Jesper hadn't been able to talk about his mother at all before the memory event, when he was forced to remember her. ]
It wasn't until I came here that I stopped. Because I met you and all of our little gang here. This whole situation is insane but I don't feel alone in it. And I know it's embarrassingly cheesy, but I hope you remember that you're not either.
[ Jesper is someone who has always sought family, sought connections, sought love. He found all of them even in this strange place, and maybe he's drunk or high or whatever else, but he's being honest about what it means to him. ]
We do have each other, my darling Julie.