[if there is one thing in this world they could allow themselves, as people gifted with the power to save others, as people who sacrifice for the sake of the majority's safety, it is to be selfish with wantsโwants that are so small, of wanting a family, of wanting to be remembered, of wanting to not be so damn alone.
and though it is selfish, such a sentiment sprouts from wanda a flourish of something warm and welcoming. she loves peter so muchโshe would hate herself for ever forgetting him, for ever hurting him.
and peter asks, amidst the tumultuous thoughts that spill and stick to her consciousness, if she is okay. she knows that he knows the answer, but he asks anyway, and she's already answering before her answer is even formed in sounds and a singular syllable; her head shaking slightly, her lips trembling.]
No.
[it's grief, grief and sorrow and pain that cut so deep that makes her knees feel weak. and she's grasping for him as she feels the debilitating force of it all crashing on her againโponders again, obsessively, why she didn't stay under the rubble of obsidian rock, left with a fate uncertain, closer to oblivion than this existential crush of knowing that she will
never
see them again.
never
be with them again.
her knees hit the floor, her hands fists against her face before they release, flat against face, covering her eyes. she's done such horrible things, was willing to do worseโ
no subject
and though it is selfish, such a sentiment sprouts from wanda a flourish of something warm and welcoming. she loves peter so muchโshe would hate herself for ever forgetting him, for ever hurting him.
and peter asks, amidst the tumultuous thoughts that spill and stick to her consciousness, if she is okay. she knows that he knows the answer, but he asks anyway, and she's already answering before her answer is even formed in sounds and a singular syllable; her head shaking slightly, her lips trembling.]
No.
[it's grief, grief and sorrow and pain that cut so deep that makes her knees feel weak. and she's grasping for him as she feels the debilitating force of it all crashing on her againโponders again, obsessively, why she didn't stay under the rubble of obsidian rock, left with a fate uncertain, closer to oblivion than this existential crush of knowing that she will
never
see them again.
never
be with them again.
her knees hit the floor, her hands fists against her face before they release, flat against face, covering her eyes. she's done such horrible things, was willing to do worseโ
there is no coming back from that.]