bealufull: (Default)
Kaz Brekker ([personal profile] bealufull) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs 2022-09-15 12:10 pm (UTC)

Jesper could not say when she had become so much a part of his life, just that she was. Just as he was part of hers. Of course there had been anxiousness in giving her that ship, but if he couldn't let her free, trusting she would return, then was he any better than anyone else in her life had been?

Maybe there hadn't been as much choice here but they had been apart and yet came back together in the end. And yet, as she admits that fear, he knows he can't blame her. When has she ever seen him need anyone? Seen him keep someone around who had lost their usefulness to him. He is cutthroat and ruthless and everyone knows that. Even he knows that. He has to be.

And yet in that moment he realizes that, in part, this is what is meant about being able to leave Dirtyhands behind. Maybe not all of him, but there are parts he won't need. Doesn't want even.

"Inej."

He says her name softly but deliberately. Even as he slides his arms around her. It's almost easier, the material of his shirt a barrier once more, her face pressed close but there's that slip of fabric that makes it easier for him. He's getting better but he might not never be fully healed.

So he holds her like that, his hand stroking along the length of her spine.

"Your worth is in a million things that have nothing to do with the Wraith." And a million more that do but that doesn't matter now. "You be who you want to be, and trust that I will always be there with you. You're not losing me. Not unless you walk away."

He chuckles, little more than his chest moving with little sound.

"Have you ever known of me to let go of anything that is my own without a fight?" And she is most certainly his. At least in his mind.


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