Returning is both a boon and a disappointment. At least here she knows who she is, but she misses the illusion of freedom the Singularity gave. Maybe she just misses the opportunity to have some control and stretch her legs. Relena had not had a wholly good time, but it was still better than a dungeon.
Still, this is reality and this is the place where she has to solve her current situation. She can't run away into something where her troubles from home and here are lost to her. She has to face them, just as she has to face Estinien when they're all shuffled back into their cells.
She's not sure how to address him or if he even wants to speak to her now when she's come across as so weak and misguided to him. Even if she stands in her beliefs, he'd given her a dose of the reality of her current position that she hasn't had to think about before. He's given her a quandary she has to sort out now. It's the truth of her being knocked out of her position of power and clout. She can sway no hearts here with her reputation and hope for the future of others. This is not her realm. These are not her people. She is, in a sense, nothing right now and she will have to figure out what she's meant to do here while acknowledging that.
Will that mean fighting? Killing? Will she have to make the decisions Heero's had to make protecting her and others? She feels like a coward under the weight of these ideas. Would her fathers hate her? Would Heero lose faith in her? He is her judgment, the one who knows when to kill her. He is not here to judge her. What does she do?
She sits against the wall as she settles in, lost in thought. She doesn't address anyone else in the cell, instead looking at her knees, off somewhere else in her mind with no immediate awareness of the others around her.
I
Still, this is reality and this is the place where she has to solve her current situation. She can't run away into something where her troubles from home and here are lost to her. She has to face them, just as she has to face Estinien when they're all shuffled back into their cells.
She's not sure how to address him or if he even wants to speak to her now when she's come across as so weak and misguided to him. Even if she stands in her beliefs, he'd given her a dose of the reality of her current position that she hasn't had to think about before. He's given her a quandary she has to sort out now. It's the truth of her being knocked out of her position of power and clout. She can sway no hearts here with her reputation and hope for the future of others. This is not her realm. These are not her people. She is, in a sense, nothing right now and she will have to figure out what she's meant to do here while acknowledging that.
Will that mean fighting? Killing? Will she have to make the decisions Heero's had to make protecting her and others? She feels like a coward under the weight of these ideas. Would her fathers hate her? Would Heero lose faith in her? He is her judgment, the one who knows when to kill her. He is not here to judge her. What does she do?
She sits against the wall as she settles in, lost in thought. She doesn't address anyone else in the cell, instead looking at her knees, off somewhere else in her mind with no immediate awareness of the others around her.