Before their travel to the First, before her losing battle to "Zenos", she had begun to question. Bits and pieces and seeing all the wonderful change wrought, seeing all the lives lost in the process, she began to wonder who she was outside of this. She had left her identity back in the Ruby Sea and adopted the life of an adventurer...though that had not been her plan. Had Y'shtola not spotted her, who would she be? What would she be worth?

Could she make this sort of difference? Or was it only that she followed the best of thoughts with more forethought and greater ambitions that her name be known to any?

That she should learn while looking for fulfillment that she has not been whole this entire time--it never bothered her before. In many ways, the people she met made her feel whole and worthwhile. And that should be enough, shouldn't it? That was how she felt until her soul began to literally tear at the seams, knowing that it could have ended all so very differently had her friends not left her to accept that fate and had Ardbert not elected to throw his individually to the wind to join with hers.

Himeka is quiet again, mulling on his words. It's not the sort of companionable silence they normally share--it's heavy and it shows on her brow and the way her tail droops behind her, barely twitching at the end.

"...To be honest, I had been wondering for a while if I really understood who I was outside of this mantle of 'Warrior of Light'," she says quietly.

"But what would you think of me if...part of me was one of them?"