I don’t know if simple and peaceful count as the same thing.
[ but sam doesn’t sound, necessarily, like it’s something he wants to argue. if anything, it sounds a bit like a shrug. he doesn’t fault geralt for wanting simple, considering how complicated life tends to be. and doesn’t sam know it? how much easier would his life be if things were more simple? if he didn’t have governments to abide by, laws by people with agendas, the unsteady tip of the power balance in his home country? there’s a path he could have taken, a long time ago, that would have given him a simple life. a life where he hadn’t opened his back door, hadn’t pulled out his file, hadn’t jumped head first into uncharted territory.
except that sam knows he wouldn’t have been happy. knows that something would have always been missing. he wonders if geralt considered how much simpler his life would be without the monsters to kill, but then again, sam thinks back to the horizon. to geralt’s domain. that had been peaceful - not simple, not at all - but complete. satisfying. home.
the feeling of that place has stayed with sam. the mountain air. the hearth. how ciri had wandered through it, happy, free in a way. it’s why sam brings it up. why he thanks geralt, in that moment. and when he sees the look he gets in return, sam shrugs a shoulder. ]
For what happened in the Horizon. [ sam wonders, briefly, if he has to specify the invite. the time spent. the fact that beyond his own space, beyond his place as captain and his home, geralt’s mountain had been the only time he’d taken. the only thing he’d seen.
except it’s more complicated than that, isn’t it? and maybe geralt deserves more of an explanation. so sam sits up again, taking a breath. it’s not that he’s uncomfortable as he speaks, so much that sometimes this isn’t easy. opening up. building a bridge. ]
None of us knew what was happening in there. We didn’t have the tunnels, or our fun chats out here, or anything - we were, literally, strangers. But you showed up for dinner- and not like how everyone else did. [ okay, this is more complicated than sam originally thought it would be. he purses his lips together, trying to find the words, before he keeps going. ] People came by and felt like they were part of the family. They all felt like home. And I liked that- I mean, I kind of get why my subconscious or whatever would make that place. It’s my family home, you know? It’s always been like that.
[ except that’s not what sam is getting at, and after a moment he huffs out another breath. looks at geralt with something a little more serious, but still with that warmth. ]
You were the only one who asked me to come to yours. And I don’t mean like how everyone wandered through that place- not like that. I mean, you asked me to visit. And I did. [ sam, for a moment, pauses - if only because he’s not exactly sure how to put into words the feeling of it. of the night or so he spent there, of the time he had. it hits him once again how good it had felt, just to be there, yes, but more than that, too.
his eyes fall to the grass in front of him for a moment. ] I guess I didn’t know how much I needed it? [ a beat, as he presses his lips together. ] To get away from the house. Not because of anything bad- I think the worst thing that happened was Coraline nearly set the kitchen on fire but even then…no. I just mean getting away. Out for a while. Because it felt good, like, really good. And it helped. And I wouldn’t have known I needed it if you hadn’t have asked me to come. So.
[ and just like that, any of the tension in sam’s shoulders falls away. he looks back to geralt with a smile, easy, casual. it’s no big deal, you know? he’s just thanking a friend. ]
no subject
[ but sam doesn’t sound, necessarily, like it’s something he wants to argue. if anything, it sounds a bit like a shrug. he doesn’t fault geralt for wanting simple, considering how complicated life tends to be. and doesn’t sam know it? how much easier would his life be if things were more simple? if he didn’t have governments to abide by, laws by people with agendas, the unsteady tip of the power balance in his home country? there’s a path he could have taken, a long time ago, that would have given him a simple life. a life where he hadn’t opened his back door, hadn’t pulled out his file, hadn’t jumped head first into uncharted territory.
except that sam knows he wouldn’t have been happy. knows that something would have always been missing. he wonders if geralt considered how much simpler his life would be without the monsters to kill, but then again, sam thinks back to the horizon. to geralt’s domain. that had been peaceful - not simple, not at all - but complete. satisfying. home.
the feeling of that place has stayed with sam. the mountain air. the hearth. how ciri had wandered through it, happy, free in a way. it’s why sam brings it up. why he thanks geralt, in that moment. and when he sees the look he gets in return, sam shrugs a shoulder. ]
For what happened in the Horizon. [ sam wonders, briefly, if he has to specify the invite. the time spent. the fact that beyond his own space, beyond his place as captain and his home, geralt’s mountain had been the only time he’d taken. the only thing he’d seen.
except it’s more complicated than that, isn’t it? and maybe geralt deserves more of an explanation. so sam sits up again, taking a breath. it’s not that he’s uncomfortable as he speaks, so much that sometimes this isn’t easy. opening up. building a bridge. ]
None of us knew what was happening in there. We didn’t have the tunnels, or our fun chats out here, or anything - we were, literally, strangers. But you showed up for dinner- and not like how everyone else did. [ okay, this is more complicated than sam originally thought it would be. he purses his lips together, trying to find the words, before he keeps going. ] People came by and felt like they were part of the family. They all felt like home. And I liked that- I mean, I kind of get why my subconscious or whatever would make that place. It’s my family home, you know? It’s always been like that.
[ except that’s not what sam is getting at, and after a moment he huffs out another breath. looks at geralt with something a little more serious, but still with that warmth. ]
You were the only one who asked me to come to yours. And I don’t mean like how everyone wandered through that place- not like that. I mean, you asked me to visit. And I did. [ sam, for a moment, pauses - if only because he’s not exactly sure how to put into words the feeling of it. of the night or so he spent there, of the time he had. it hits him once again how good it had felt, just to be there, yes, but more than that, too.
his eyes fall to the grass in front of him for a moment. ] I guess I didn’t know how much I needed it? [ a beat, as he presses his lips together. ] To get away from the house. Not because of anything bad- I think the worst thing that happened was Coraline nearly set the kitchen on fire but even then…no. I just mean getting away. Out for a while. Because it felt good, like, really good. And it helped. And I wouldn’t have known I needed it if you hadn’t have asked me to come. So.
[ and just like that, any of the tension in sam’s shoulders falls away. he looks back to geralt with a smile, easy, casual. it’s no big deal, you know? he’s just thanking a friend. ]
Thank you for that.