[ steve was okay to be calm about this at first. okay to just let it go, to get out of here, and then to handle it while they're anywhere but here. except that eddie keeps talking, keeps pushing, and steve finds he just can't do this right now. not after how awful he's felt, how he hasn't quite shaken the awful, terrible, guilty mass stuck in his throat. and now all he can smell is that weird, sharp cleaning smell. can only hear echoes of robin, somewhere else.
on a scale of one to absolutely nightmare fuel, part of steve knows this isn't anywhere on the list of what hawkins has dealt with before. but it's what haunts him, what he still can't shake, and now that eddie's here... ]
Are you serious right now? [ because that's where steve doesn't exactly snap, but can't handle this any more. eddie doesn't even know the half of it, steve doesn't know the half of it, but this is where he wants to put his foot down? ] Fine! Fine. This? [ steve is furious, though there is a distinct feeling it's not directed at eddie, but more like he's been pushing closer and closer to this for days now. the more steve talks, the faster he sounds, turning and pacing around the room, arms gesturing a bit wildly. eddie's probably never heard a steve harrington explosion before, but oh well. ] This is a Russian base that was under Starcourt. You know that fire? Not a fire. It was the Russians trying to open a gate, and this huge creature thing had come through and was possessing people, and it killed Hargrove and it killed all those other people and it killed Hopper, too. And of course Henderson was the one who figured out the base was under the mall before anyone else, and of course I followed him down the weird creepy elevator, with Erica Sinclair and Robin too, because why not, right? Why not.
Except that by the time we got down here, the Russians noticed us, so Robin and I held them off while Erica and Dustin got out, and then they did exactly what Russians do! The tortured us. I got the shit beaten out of me and Robin and I got shot up with some kind of insane drug because they thought we were spies for the government and wanted us to spill secrets. But then Henderson and Erica came back and by the time we got out of this weird base, that's when the monster thing was coming after everyone because it was looking for the El. [ the girl with superpowers, but this time steve doesn't bother specifying. hopefully eddie's been paying attention? ] And then we had to fight the thing and we destroyed Starcourt in the process and then the government covered up all of it. Just a fire! All of it was just a fire! [ and steve can't handle it anymore. he really can't. he kicks the chairs off to the side of the room because he has to hit something, has to do something, but even as the chairs clatter against the wall he doesn't feel any better, but he doesn't feel like he's on the edge of exploding, either, heaving a few breaths before he's able to calm down.
whether or not eddie offers his white flag doesn't really matter any more, does it? there's also the chance that steve doesn't even hear it, needing another second or so before he looks back to where the other is still standing in front of the elevator.
sorry, eddie says, and a wave of shame and embarrassment courses through steve so intensely he feels like he's going to get sick. so instead of doing that, he just presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, exhaling once and then twice.
eddie didn't deserve that. eddie didn't deserve any of it. eddie is dead, and steve is sitting here getting upset because...what? he stepped into a room that steve didn't want people to see? god, he's so selfish, but it's all just...
bullshit. ]
Sorry. That- [ it comes out mumbled, a little quiet, as steve rubs his hands across his face to try and calm himself down. ] Sorry.
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on a scale of one to absolutely nightmare fuel, part of steve knows this isn't anywhere on the list of what hawkins has dealt with before. but it's what haunts him, what he still can't shake, and now that eddie's here... ]
Are you serious right now? [ because that's where steve doesn't exactly snap, but can't handle this any more. eddie doesn't even know the half of it, steve doesn't know the half of it, but this is where he wants to put his foot down? ] Fine! Fine. This? [ steve is furious, though there is a distinct feeling it's not directed at eddie, but more like he's been pushing closer and closer to this for days now. the more steve talks, the faster he sounds, turning and pacing around the room, arms gesturing a bit wildly. eddie's probably never heard a steve harrington explosion before, but oh well. ] This is a Russian base that was under Starcourt. You know that fire? Not a fire. It was the Russians trying to open a gate, and this huge creature thing had come through and was possessing people, and it killed Hargrove and it killed all those other people and it killed Hopper, too. And of course Henderson was the one who figured out the base was under the mall before anyone else, and of course I followed him down the weird creepy elevator, with Erica Sinclair and Robin too, because why not, right? Why not.
Except that by the time we got down here, the Russians noticed us, so Robin and I held them off while Erica and Dustin got out, and then they did exactly what Russians do! The tortured us. I got the shit beaten out of me and Robin and I got shot up with some kind of insane drug because they thought we were spies for the government and wanted us to spill secrets. But then Henderson and Erica came back and by the time we got out of this weird base, that's when the monster thing was coming after everyone because it was looking for the El. [ the girl with superpowers, but this time steve doesn't bother specifying. hopefully eddie's been paying attention? ] And then we had to fight the thing and we destroyed Starcourt in the process and then the government covered up all of it. Just a fire! All of it was just a fire! [ and steve can't handle it anymore. he really can't. he kicks the chairs off to the side of the room because he has to hit something, has to do something, but even as the chairs clatter against the wall he doesn't feel any better, but he doesn't feel like he's on the edge of exploding, either, heaving a few breaths before he's able to calm down.
whether or not eddie offers his white flag doesn't really matter any more, does it? there's also the chance that steve doesn't even hear it, needing another second or so before he looks back to where the other is still standing in front of the elevator.
sorry, eddie says, and a wave of shame and embarrassment courses through steve so intensely he feels like he's going to get sick. so instead of doing that, he just presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, exhaling once and then twice.
eddie didn't deserve that. eddie didn't deserve any of it. eddie is dead, and steve is sitting here getting upset because...what? he stepped into a room that steve didn't want people to see? god, he's so selfish, but it's all just...
bullshit. ]
Sorry. That- [ it comes out mumbled, a little quiet, as steve rubs his hands across his face to try and calm himself down. ] Sorry.