[ Before the words finish leaving his mouth, he's already annoyed, frustrated. It's not that he has these fears, that they lurk in the dark crevices of his mind. He's lived with them for most of his life. He just doesn't give voice to them. What would be the point? It isn't important. They're only fears. The same kind most everyone holds in their heart. Speaking them out loud grants a weight to them he never wanted those thoughts to have.
He sighs. Jaskier brushes his cheek, and though he doesn't react, the tension inside him eases a hint. ] Forget it.
[ Bluntness of his words aside, his voice is soft, without any edges. No. He isn't angry at Jaskier. Not really. He doesn't want to be, either. Jaskier is his friend, he is the reason Jaskier is even here in the first place, and he is simply tired. Of feeling too much. Of having pieces of himself spill to the world around him.
He's distracted soon enough when Jaskier touches it again. Reaching. His brows furrow. After a moment, he shakes his head. Is it Julie reaching back through it? Others who are trapped at this very moment? What in the fuck does any of this mean? He received something of an answer, coming here, but it doesn't feel as though he's come any closer to finding her. And he is not certain he wants what is inside reaching to grasp a hold of Jaskier. (What if it takes him, too?) ]
There isn't anything for us here. [ His eyes close briefly. Shit. ] I'm sorry. I should've thought to tell you more. I've been—
[ Out of sorts. He doesn't say it, doesn't want to fall back on excuses. He should be better than the things which filled his mind, but he isn't and it bothers him. How easy it is to drown in his own head. ]
no subject
He sighs. Jaskier brushes his cheek, and though he doesn't react, the tension inside him eases a hint. ] Forget it.
[ Bluntness of his words aside, his voice is soft, without any edges. No. He isn't angry at Jaskier. Not really. He doesn't want to be, either. Jaskier is his friend, he is the reason Jaskier is even here in the first place, and he is simply tired. Of feeling too much. Of having pieces of himself spill to the world around him.
He's distracted soon enough when Jaskier touches it again. Reaching. His brows furrow. After a moment, he shakes his head. Is it Julie reaching back through it? Others who are trapped at this very moment? What in the fuck does any of this mean? He received something of an answer, coming here, but it doesn't feel as though he's come any closer to finding her. And he is not certain he wants what is inside reaching to grasp a hold of Jaskier. (What if it takes him, too?) ]
There isn't anything for us here. [ His eyes close briefly. Shit. ] I'm sorry. I should've thought to tell you more. I've been—
[ Out of sorts. He doesn't say it, doesn't want to fall back on excuses. He should be better than the things which filled his mind, but he isn't and it bothers him. How easy it is to drown in his own head. ]