[ In a way, it is similar to that, Jayce speaking a horrible truth expecting judgment, because it still is something he judges himself for every day. It'll always be this sword hanging over his head, ready to chop him down, but in a way speaking about it is the way forward. Jayce isn't cold though, he's pained. Regretful. He has no ability to mask his emotions. ]

It rotted me from the inside when I first got here, it had just happened. I wasn't the person I thought I was. A hard thing to learn about yourself.

[ Jayce had never been a violent person. It was his one and only fight, as he told Jaskier moments ago. If someone asked him if he was capable of that even days beforehand, he'd laugh at them. Him? No. Never. He's always been soft, but those last few days back home had made him into the worst kind of iron. ]

I kept it a secret from Viktor for months so I guess in a way being honest about it now is my way of trying to be better. Those people deserved better, from me and the world we lived in.

[ They didn't go to work that day expecting to die. Even if the Undercity was hard and it was always an option, they were just people. Trying to survive in a shitty system. They didn't have to be angels to deserve a better life. Jayce thinks that wearing that guilt up front is the best he can do sometimes. ]

Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. Not really the best way to try to get to know someone better.