He remembers what it was like to be Wilhelm's age, the intensity of his own feelings the first time he met the gaze of another young man in town and recognized the same wanting that he'd tried to ignore. His face is blurred by years, but at the time he could recall every detail, and at night he could play back every conversation and every small touch they shared.

How it could make him feel whole and hollow at the same time.

There are those other memories, too. The ones that don't fit, that make no sense. The ones where he watched John from a distance in Rathal'pesha, not Nayeshi. Where they went months without being able to talk and it was maddening. There's more, so many more intimate details that he tries not to fixate on. Especially now, here. He makes Wilhelm his focus again, watching him as he seems incapable of sitting still - or meeting his gaze for too long.

"Your mother didn't approve?"