abraxaslogs | There is a swelling storm and I'm caught up in the middle of it all

"Pity. That's going to be such a hardship."

Sylvain heaves a playfully disappointed sigh as he lets his own hands drop to slide over Jesper's now-bared torso, returning the favor. One thumb teases over an exposed nipple, even as he lets his gaze drag down the lean lines of his body, fingers following the path his fingers explore. His lips quirk in an appreciative smirk, letting his fingers trail lower over his stomach to start unfastening his pants as well.

"And 'sweet' is definitely not something I'm used to being called. Pretty sure that might have actually been more scandalous than my real reputation, back home. And absolutely no one would believe you."

Well. Maybe except Mercy, but she'd always had a different viewpoint of him than the others. One of the rare few.

"You say that because it's easy to say it now, in ignorance." And Mat thinks, perhaps, there are certain things that people just say. Maybe they even think they mean it, but mostly it's just what one says. Things like 'I'll love you forever' and 'I promise I mean it this time' and a whole host of others. But they are not seers of the future, as far as Mat knows, that gift is very rare. They're just a pair of kids stuck in something much greater than either of them.

"Look, I'm not telling you to fuck off, if that's what you think. I'm much too selfish to do that. But don't get surprised if you stick around just to discover I'm actually your average, garden variety prick. Which is a much worse thing than a killer. There's all sorts of reasons to justify that, not so much to justify just being your general shitty human being."

And Mat is under no false delusions about himself, no matter what he presents to the world. He's petty and selfish, a thief and a liar, a breaker of hearts and a grave robber.

"Do you know what my curse was, that the old god gave me? It made people think I was the most important thing to them in the world. And I realized, Jes, I realized that that...that's what I want. But I make sure that situation cannot come near to passing, because I know in my heart...that will never be me. I will never be held above others, I will never be the prize, I will never be the center of someone else's world. I don't even like me that much!"

"Mat, sweetheart ...." Jesper says softly, but then he decides to be quiet. Mat has some things to say, dark things from his heart and about himself, and Jesper should not try to get in the middle of it until he gets it all out. He puts an arm around Mat's shoulders and lets him spew out his bad feelings. He is no stranger to self-loathing, especially recently.

He would argue being a killer is much worse than being an asshole, but that seems pedantic at this point, and not something Mat needs to hear. They're not going to play a game of who is worse. It's unhelpful. Jesper moves around the bed when Mat seems to get it out so he can be in front of him. He reaches up to cup his face gently.

"It is completely normal to want to be seen that way, to want to be that special. You are not a shitty person. You've been through some traumatic shit and you've made bad choices, but that just makes you human." Jesper knows about him deciding not to follow the others into the cave or whatever that was. He's not entirely certain he would call that a bad choice, but he knows Mat sees it that way.

"You're young. You've got an entire life ahead of you to figure out what you want and to make it happen." Jesper is younger than him and that's always how he personally sees it. Sure he's a fuck up and there's no question about that, but he doesn't always have to be. They can keep going.

"I love you. There are a lot of people who love you. And we don't love some version of you. I hate to break it to you, darling, but you're not that good at acting. No one thinks you're perfect. Saints, I wouldn't want you if you were, I want you as you are. Imperfect and messy and a bit broken. Loyal and clever and funny. You are a prize, to me. You think I write love letters to anyone else?"

Jesper's breath catches at the touch on his nipple as his body starts to warm up now that they've moved from vulnerability to sexuality. It is nice to connect though, he is never one to be afraid of emotional honesty, but it is also worth it to distract them both from their dark feelings.

His own hands go down to undo Sylvain's pants although neither of them can get them off in their current positions. It doesn't stop him from cupping him on the outside of the fabric and rubbing his cock through it.

"Mmm, my reputation was probably something similar, but I don't pay attention to that sort of thing. You are sweet, Sylvain, and lovely, and you need to take your clothes off so you can ride me."

After the week they'd both had, being able to divert away from the dark feelings and heavier topics was a relief, honestly. He gives a low groan and rocks into that touch, grinding down against Jesper in the process.

"My reputation was as finely honed as my spear." He chuckled, a hint of sarcasm in his tone. A pause, before he snickers amidst a smirk and leans down to lave his tongue over that dark nub of sensitive skin that had made Jesper's breath catch so temptingly. "Both of them, in fact."

And while he's just as eager to give Jesper exactly what he describes, he's taking his time in getting there, teasing them both in the meantime.

Jesper cracks up at the double entendre, he loves them, although his laughter is mixed in with a moan when Sylvain's tongue touches his nipple. He arches up automatically into the touch and curls his fingers into red hair. His other hand keeps rubbing at him, feeling him harden as he's doing the same.

"And how about your tongue, love? How well honed is that?"

The suggestion is blatant in that suggestion but with Sylvain licking at his skin, of course that's where his mind is going. He bucks his hips up into Sylvain's body where he's still straddling him.

"Considerably sharper, actually." There's smirking amusement audible in his voice as his teeth close lightly around his nipple, tugging lightly and relishing the reactions Jesper is so open with. He loves that, loves how much the other man just embraces this wholeheartedly and has fun with it.

"My reputation has a lot to say about that, too, in fact."

In both very good and very bad ways, depending on who you listen to. Sylvain's endlessly grateful that out of his companions to show up here, at least they've been the ones to not hold his past against him and spread that reputation around in idle gossip. Some would have, he knows.

"But I suppose I will have to make my own reputation here. I'm sure that will be a hardship, too." He's smirking as he grinds down against the hardness he can feel beneath him before shifting down Jesper's thighs a little further. Fingers finish unfastening his pants and drawing that length out, mouth kissing his way down Jesper's stomach as he draws nearer to where he's aiming. Lips press a single kiss to the tip of him, eyes shifting up to Jesper's face as his warm breath teases skin.

"The amount of times I've thought about getting to do this again this past week is almost embarrassing."

"Fuck, Sylvain." Jesper gets off his flirtatious hat for a moment to simply react to teeth on his nipple, shuddering from head to toe. He can be very sensitive in the best ways so it is a good way to get him going. He breathes unsteadily and it doesn't get better as Sylvain slides down his body to get this really started.

He sits up onto an elbow so he can get a really nice view, his free hand going straight to those bright red strands. Jesper is fully hard now and aching under Sylvain's touch, lustful gray eyes fixed on his mouth.

"You can get it any time you want it, darling. Consider my cock at your service."

He smiles at that since it's a tease but not actually, his hand curving around Sylvain's cheek and then tracing his lips. "I want to see it disappear between your pretty lips. Please."

Goddess, Jesper's the kind of lover it would be easy to get addicted to. Both beneath him and in the way he's so good at picking up on what Sylvain likes as well, because fingers in his hair - playing or gripping, it doesn't matter - is something that always sends a delicious shiver down his spine. Has his eyes darkening a shade in pleasure and hunger.

He sees the way Jesper's gaze is fastened on his mouth and his lips quirk as he presses another kiss to the tip of his cock, and then playfully down the vein along the underside, feeling the heat and hardness of his arousal as he tastes him. When he comes back to the tip, it's to swipe his tongue out and lick at the salty wetness he finds there, humming in delight.

He pauses when Jesper's fingers trace along his lips, parting them briefly to playfully suck one of those fingers into his mouth instead, but he smiles at the request, cheeks lightly flushed and eyes heated and bright as he meets Jesper's gaze. "Well, since you asked so nicely... Consider me at your service."

And he obliges him, lips wet and parting as he sucks just the tip of him into wet heat, tongue playing against sensitive skin as he bobs his head and takes Jesper slowly, gradually deeper.

"No, that's not it. That's not why..."

Mat shakes his head, sighing heavily. The words just come out, all on their own, no thought on his part. If he'd thought, he wouldn't have spoke.

"There's something wrong inside me, Jesper, something wrong and dark. I'm not being poetic or metaphorical, either. There's a darkness that's just a part of my soul, it's the very center of me. And one of these days..."

A man can't fight his nature forever, can he? It isn't even as though Mat has ever had any grand ambitions for his own morality. Just to manage to be better than his father, and he can at least say he's mostly managed that. He knows what's inside him. So did everyone else, back home, though only Moraine had ever put it plainly in words.

It will all come out here, too. One way or another. It's like this place is determined to draw out and nurture that part of him.

"That's the man you want, Jesper. A man so very fucked up that his soul is essentially a beacon for the Dark One. And much as it touches me - deeply - that you are so devoted...I can at least be decent enough to warn you."

Jesper can be prepared.

"It's not like I write love letters to anyone else, either."

He pulls a face as Jesper invokes the specter of the horrifying courses they'd tried at the Lunar Pond shindig. Despite the questionable things he'd put in his mouth that night, Wilhelm had had fun. Most of the credit belongs to Jesper, who can make almost anything funny.

"Absolutely no mystery meat this time," he agrees. Grinning, he playfully knocks his shoulder into Jesper's. "You could probably make anything fun. Even a stuffy ball."

The way he says it, it's clearly not his sort of thing either. He's already suffered more meticulously orchestrated formal events than anyone his age should. All it amounted to was endless hours of hoping he says nothing stupid and waiting for it to be over.

As they reach the edge of the sprawling market, Wilhelm searches the painted wooden signs for something good to eat. Discerning a promising stall up ahead, he points it out to Jesper. The savory smell of roasting meat permeates the air here.

Jesper listens to him and he hears him. He is not ignoring what he is saying or brushing it off. Darkness simply has never scared him or worried him. Darkness is everywhere in his world, there's more dark than light in Ketterdam.

"You are the man I want. I wouldn't change you, not for anything."

He moves back behind Mat but this time so he can scoot up close behind him and simply drape his arms around him. Give him a nice firm hug from this angle, wrapping his legs around him too, hooking them over. Jesper holds him and presses a kiss to his cheek, leaning his head against him.

"I don't even know the exact number of how many people I've killed. Probably not all of them deserved it. And if I ever do come to Thorne to rescue you, I would kill every person who got in my way." Jesper wouldn't even hesitate. He wouldn't feel bad about it. He can be the warmest person in the world and have the coldest of hearts when it comes down to it.

"But you know that about me and you still want me. That's how I feel about you. There's no amount of darkness that could keep me from you. You're made up of many parts, Mat. Not just that."

He squeezes his arms around Mat, his voice quiet in his ear, and he kisses the top of his shoulder gently.

"You're worth it. All of it."

"Saints look at you." Jesper murmurs as Sylvain intentionally puts on a very nice little show. His mouth brushing all over his cock, the run of his tongue to taste the tip of him and it's all great. He is flushed and sweating, pushing up from his elbow to let his fingers grip into the mattress and hold him up. He wants to watch and this is the easiest way.

When Sylvain sucks his finger into his mouth Jesper's pupils dilate wide and he bites his lip hard, his breath coming in a little too fast. He then has to gasp in air as it feels knocked out of him when that beautiful mouth covers part of him. His fingers in the blanket twist and his fingers tighten sharply in Sylvain's hair.

"Yeah, just like that, baby." Jesper's voice sounds rough and low, and his eyes are fixed on Sylvain's lips around him. "Been thinking about this all week too."

His eyes flutter shut and a soft breathless moan is hummed around Jesper’s length as those fingers tighten their grip in his hair. It makes his own breath hitch in his throat before he pushes past it. His lips part just enough to take him deeper tongue stroking along his length at the same time. But his eyes, dark and intent are locked on Jesper’s face, attention firmly focused on the man he’s pleasuring.

His own skin is flushed and too-warm, but it’s easy to ignore his own needs for now when he has this spread out before him to enjoy. Although Jesper can no doubt see the way the muscles at the back of his shoulders flex as he shifts and bobs his head to take his cock deeper still. He keeps it at a gradual pace dragging the pleasure out, but he doesn’t stop or slow until he feels the tip of him nudge thickly at the back of his throat. And then he swallows around him, carefully easing him deeper still.

"Oh you like that, do you?" Jesper smirks and pulls Sylvain's hair sharply just once, so he can get what he wants. He saw that reaction for what it was, and he is a fan himself, so he doesn't mind in the least. His gaze flickers between Sylvain's own eyes and then what he's doing to him. He does look at his back muscles ripple once, damn everything about him is so hot, but he is fixated on the show.

"Fuck, oh shit." He is forced to finally close his eyes, at least briefly, as the pleasure pushes through him intensely the lower Sylvain's mouth goes. He almost squirms underneath him and instead is left gasping, losing his cool. Jesper's fingers relax and start petting his hair instead. "Saints I can't wait to be in you again, love. You going to keep putting a good show on for me? I know you will."

Sylvain gives another low hum that vibrates around the sensitive length before he pulls back, reluctantly releasing Jesper’s cock, although he still drops one more adoring kiss on the tip of it as he lifts his head enough to smirk up the length of Jesper’s body.

“I do seem to recall you saying something about wanting to watch me ride you…” His voice is a little strained and hoarse, his lips reddened and slightly swollen, but he’s grinning with lazy pleasure, anticipation dark in his eyes.

"Damned right you're going to ride me, Sylvain." While some part of him (a very hungry and hard part of him) is dismayed at the loss of his mouth, Jesper tells himself to calm down because better things were coming along. He reaches over to the bedside, of course he keeps lube as close as he can in his own bedroom, and settles back on the bed with a smug smile.

"Get your pants off and come right here." He slaps his own flat stomach playfully so Sylvain knows where to sit. He needs to prepare him first but it'll be easier if he can sink down right after. "Giddy up, gorgeous." Jesper waggles his eyebrows, always someone happy to be playful in the bedroom.

“Pretty sure that’s meant to be my line, actually.”

Sylvain just shoots him a cheeky grin as he laughs. He shifts off from straddling Jesper just long enough that he can wriggle out of his own pants, dropping them over the side of the bed before shifting up to where the other man had indicated a moment before. Although he playfully trails his fingers up the underside of Jesper’s cock once more before he settles into place, smirking down at him with a dark glint in his gaze.

“I’m the one doing the riding here, after all.”

"Good point, I fully expect you to say giddy up. Loudly."

Jesper is being playful although he probably would laugh a whole lot if it ends up happening like that. He is a big believer that the best types of relationships involve a lot of laughter. He likes to be friends with his lovers. It makes everything better. He gives a very light whap to Sylvain's now bare ass when he touches his cock again. Mean. He's glad to have the cooling off period required for prep so he doesn't come too fast.

He slicks up both of his hands and his cock right now so that there will be no need to pause in between, when Sylvain's ready. Jesper moves his fingers between Sylvain's cheeks and slides one into him, still starting out easy to be thoughtful. His fingers are very long and slender. His other hand wraps around Sylvain's cock to get him hot and bothered now, although he strokes him very slowly, making certain every one is from top to bottom.

"I expect you to put on a good show, you're not going to let me down, are you?"

Jesper will eat just about anything, but that night definitely tested his ability to do it with some of the courses. He still refused to tap out and they did manage to react to a lot of it with laughter, the bad ones even more so than the good ones. It was a really good first date, even if it wasn't an official one. Now they'll have this one to add to the Wilhelm-Jesper budding romance.

"That's my meaning in life, Wille. Making the world a more fun place." Jesper is delighted that Wilhelm thinks he could make anything fun though. He takes in compliments like a sponge. "Also a sexier place." He bumps his shoulder back too with a laugh.

He follows Wilhelm to the stall and flips the seller some coins. Sometimes that can be annoying more than charming, but Jesper's warm smile gets him out of so many things, it's obnoxious. Also it helps that he automatically adds a tip, always. "Anything you want, pet, go for it."

Jesper isn't rich anymore, or well, not well-off anymore, he sort of depleted their huge stash of cash, but he never fails to make money when he wants to. He's a wheeler and dealer. It's his brand.

"So believe it or not, we actually know very little about each other." He laughs, because it doesn't actually bother him. He takes the meat. He is not a stranger to being naked with someone before knowing details about them. "You know I can make things, tell me something about yourself I don't already know."

Sylvain would like to thoroughly endorse this kind of relationship. Even if his experience with such is tragically slim. He's more than happy to give it a try, however, and Jesper can make anything tempting, he'd wager. And while he's smirking at that slap to his ass in repayment for his teasing, when fingers press into him he gives a breathless little groan - only drawn out when those long slender fingers wrap around his cock and start to stroke him at the same time.

He falls forward to brace on his hands over Jesper's torso, face flushing with arousal as his eyes slam shut and he bites his lower lip at the dual sensations. His cock had already been hard but he feels pleasure spark along his nerves at those sure touches. He doesn't want easy, and he rocks back into that stretch with a wanton moan, muscles clenching tight about the intrusion.

"I'll do my best, but it's your own fault for being so damn distracting."

"What? Are you telling me I'm a bad conversationalist?"

Jesper will easily be able to tell the difference by now between Ciri's genuinely snappish tone and her dry teasing. He also might've earned a few points further in his favor by being such a good friend to Julie; that hasn't gone entirely unnoticed.

"Mm. I gathered a bit of that when we were at the ravine. I understand why you wanted... discretion." Just as she had.

"All right. I'll take you up on the offer one of these days."

Yule's coming up, and she has some vague ideas that Jesper might actually be able to help her with after all.

Thanking both the proprietor and Jesper, he accepts his skewer of roast meat. It's nice, being taken care of.

"Yeah, you thought I was straight," Wilhelm retorts. Believe it or not. While he's still mapping out his sexuality, he's comfortable enough to make jokes like this. Not that long ago, it was hard to even talk about it out loud. Not because of any shame, but because of all the expectations surrounding him. He supposes everyone assumes he's straight. Tradition, which his family is supposed to uphold — of which they're supposed to be goddamn symbols — wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, fuck tradition.

As they start walking again, he takes a bite from his skewer. This gives him a moment to chew over a good answer for Jesper.

"I don't really have any special talents. I'm a decent rower. Um...I can play the piano, but I like just listening to music better than actually playing it."

Sylvain is already making a very pretty picture. Jesper's only opening up and he's more beautiful than he has a right to be, a sexual dream in living flesh. "Saints, how are you this hot?" He wants to be inside of him. He wants it so much he goes almost mad with it for a second. It makes him move to two fingers with Sylvain shamelessly pushing back into them, opening him with aggressive directness.

He scissors his fingers in him and spreads, not wanting to take him too close so he grips Sylvain right underneath the head and holds him. His thumb does curl around to rub very gently at the tip of his cock, circling over and over again as a little tempt.

"Don't worry, baby, all you have to do is sit on my cock and it's the best show I've ever seen."

Jesper is rubbing himself against Sylvain at the same time, needing some kind of friction. He is trying not to hurry too much to be thoughtful but he is probably a little rougher than he should be, desperate.

Jesper laughs, capturing Wilhelm's hand again and bringing it to his mouth for a kiss on his knuckles affectionately. He drops them back down after. "I'm used to men who like men reacting when I flirt with them, even in subtle ways." Jesper is an expert at body language as part of being a fighter, but also from hooking up with a lot of people.

"I thought I caught a little warming up at the werewolf party, but you also wouldn't have been the first confused straight boy to give me signals." It shouldn't be surprising that Jesper is an excellent person for anyone unsure of their orientation to flirt around with. It's the lack of judgment. "I'm very glad you like men, believe me. The memories of our time together kept me warm on the cold nights on the supply run."

Just shamelessly referring to their hook up out loud, don't mind him. He chews on his meat after saying that, and oh, it is good. The food here is great, as long as it's not a blind testing. He looks over at him while he gives an answer.

"Rowing like on the water?" Strange, he doesn't look like a fisher or anything like that. Rowing for fun isn't really something done in Ketterdam, everyone's too busy working and scheming. "I have a music room in my side of the Horizon, you should come play for me. I've been trying to learn how to play the guitar."

There is a swelling storm and I'm caught up in the middle of it all

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NSFW from here

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