abraxaslogs | There is a swelling storm and I'm caught up in the middle of it all

Before Jesper, Sylvain wouldn't think losing himself so deeply in this was even something he was capable of. It was safer to be in control and there were few partners he had trusted to relinquish that to. Jesper had been different right from the start, though. There was so much Sylvain recognized in what was reflected back at him, even if it was in a different way.

So he lets Jesper drive him wherever he wants, matching him with every thrust, every kiss, driving heat against heat so they could spiral together. Arms wind around Jesper's shoulders as he presses close, a curse slipping free at the sharp bite to his lips, the friction against his cock trapped between them as Jesper draws him closer.

"I do." Trust him. His thoughts are disjointed enough right now that he's not sure anything he does say in response to Jesper's encouraging actually comes out as coherent. He tries, though, because Jesper wanted it.

What falls from his lips is a mix of pleading, cursing, and the occasional dip into the sort of filthy things he wants to do to Jesper, or have Jesper do to him. It comes with a surprising ease and not a hint of shame or hesitation. Not that he possesses much of that to begin with. But as much as he loves when Jesper gives him this, he does his best to return it, even if Jesper fucking him like this is so distracting. It just means that Sylvain's voiced fantasies about Jesper, about his cock, his mouth, may venture far more into the obscene than he'd normally delve into.

And of course he allows Jesper anything, that tight grip and sharp yank to his hair dragging a breathless keen from him, especially when it has his back arching enough to shift the angle just enough to be even more maddening with the next sink of his body onto Jesper's cock. The man's mouth on his throat is just the start of it and that punishing pace is perfect, sending pleasure so sharply through him that there's no more time for thinking, only feeling, mind blissed out in the blinding whiteness of pleasure, of the desperate need for everything Jesper gives him. Everything he can give back, his rhythm lost and driven only by that mounting need now. Nails rake lightly against the back of Jesper's head, down his neck, as Sylvain clings to him, body tightening, clenching, trembling as he teeters on that edge.

And then Jesper goes back to talking again, now especially when words have completely failed him. Fingers stroke against his already leaking cock and the combined stimulation is too much for him. Muscles tremble and clench tightly as he spills over Jesper's fingers with a breathless cry half-formed into Jesper's name. Body shivering and jolting from the intensity of it, fingers curl against Jesper's shoulders as the orgasm spills out of him, blinding in its intensity.

Jesper soaks in all the pleading and cursing, smirking as Sylvain tells him some truly filthy fantasies and that only means he's going to add it to the list for them to do. He knows he's fantastic at sex but it's still great to hear someone literally begging for his cock like this. Desperate for it and him and what he's doing to Sylvain now. He's open and trusting in the way he goes along with whatever Jesper does, lets himself be jerked around and given pleasure in exchange for losing control.

Sylvain is clenching and shaking and Jesper fucks him through it, thoroughly milking them both in their orgasms to make them linger. He only stops when it is too much for him and even then he stays buried inside, not in any rush to move. Jesper keeps his eyes closed as the pleasure washes over him and he sighs contently. He releases both his hand holds on Sylvain to put his arms around him, running one hand up and down his back soothingly. Sometimes intense orgasms like that can get him shaking too.

Jesper tilts his head back to look at Sylvain and he smiles. "Hey, beautiful." He is out of it and floating and he is all soft sweetness at the moment. He kisses Sylvain again, slow brushes of their mouths together, as he keeps them close and joined together. "We're very good at that."

There is a way to have passion without having hunger, to want something so much but only exactly as it is. That is how he feels right then as they kiss and get to know one another in this new way. Jesper lets her explore and meets her, stroking their tongues together gently, going at it from a sensual route. So that every second counts and he can focus on the feel of her dark hair in his fingers, the taste of her tongue, the softness of her lips, the heat of her body as she lets him hold her close.

He does move his hand from her hair so he can brush the tears off her cheeks. He knows better than to let that immediately get him to panic, because sometimes tears are good, and this is all big and new to them. So he is going to kiss her cheeks afterward, soft brushes of his mouth to the curve of her jaw, and then playfully at the tip of her nose.

"I can't believe I'm kissing you right now."

"Fuck yes we are."

The aftereffects of his orgasm are still shivering through him, a high that borders on too much but is still just on the best side of perfect. He has no hesitation in the way he slumps in against Jesper's chest, his own shoulders broader, but it's surprisingly comfortable perching in the other man's lap.

Returning that smile when the other man tips his head back, Sylvain leans down to leisurely kiss him in return. Boneless and sated, he tips Jesper back onto the bed once more so he can stretch out with him, half-atop and half-beside.

"Have I reminded you lately how perfect you are? Because we can't have you forgetting that." A playful trail of kisses back Jesper's jaw as he settles once more. "Fuck. I needed that more than I realized. Thank you."

Jesper goes with the tip and falls onto his back on the mattress. He stretches out like a very satisfied cat, his muscles feeling loose and his body warm. Nothing like a great orgasm to remind him that life isn't so bad after all. He smiles and leans his head back so Sylvain can kiss all along his jaw and settle however he likes.

"I know, but feel free to remind me." Jesper may be having a rough month, but his confidence when it comes to this part of his life is unshakeable. He is a sexual master. That's just the truth. Not to discount Sylvain's own skill and incredible sexiness though. "You are perfect yourself. Ugh, the way you looked, mmm." He is going to absolutely be thinking about this when he's daydreaming. Sylvain's body on display, his face slack with pleasure. Better than fantasy.

"Sex is the best kind of distraction there is." He knows that from experience. He runs his fingers through Sylvain's lovely red hair. "You better rest up, sweetheart." Jesper grins at him, his eyelashes partly hiding his eyes. "I plan on fucking the sadness out of us again soon."

It's been a rough month all around but this... definitely makes it at least mostly worth it. It's easy to relax against Jesper, soaking up the warm contact and still reveling in the endorphin high of amazing sex and incredible orgasms.

He just nips playfully at Jesper's throat in response before letting his head drop to rest against the other man's shoulder with a quiet laugh.

"Oh, trust me. I'm looking forward to it."

Even as he shakes his head, he can't help but grin as Jesper ruffles his hair. Well, if he insists...

"Okay. Thanks, Jesper."

Wilhelm wonders if it's lonelier to grow up without any brothers at all, or to grow up with one only to lose him. He has a hard time imagining Jesper, who connects with people like a puzzle piece that fits anywhere, lonely. But it must happen sometimes.

"The other members of your gang are kind of like brothers and sisters, right?" he asks, as he deliberates over the row of snow globes. After a moment, he selects the one featuring the tiny pond and holds it up for Jesper to see.

"This one."

Her smile brightens as he kisses her cheeks, “It’s not you,” she promises in a soft whisper. “Well- it is you, but not in a negative way?” She huffs a soft sound, irritated at herself for being so emotional. “No one’s ever… kissed me like that.” No, even the more timid and nervous clients had always been rough with their need of her.

She scrunches her nose a little and laughs softly at him. “Why can’t you?” she folds her arms on his chest to rest her chin on top of her hands to stare up at him.

Jesper made the life he wanted for himself when he went to Ketterdam, but he was lonely growing up. He lived on a farm and had to support his father, and while he always got along very well with other people, most of them knew about his mother and suspected he was a Grisha. There wasn't hate thrown his way but wariness was expected even in safer areas. He got to remake himself and never have to be lonely again.

"I would say we're family, but the kind of family that shares no blood so it's not strange that we sometimes hook up." It's a gang full of hot young people on the whole. These things happen. Not to mention the Crows all paired off into their little couples, so they can be family and also together. "I think of much of the Cadens group as my family too." They're very tight knit.

Jesper looks at the snowglobe and it's sweet that Wille went with something casual like a pond. Most people would want dramatic buildings or cities in theirs. He smiles and nods, turning to offer the merchant the coin needed for it.

"What's your brother like?"

"Well I'm going to kiss you all the time like that." He proves exactly that by kissing her, lingering and sweet. Jesper understands what she's not saying and there's no use in him getting furious for her all over again. Instead he can help heal some of that by providing her the opposite, something she'll actually want instead of endure.

He smiles at her, brushing his fingers through her hair in a constant caress. "I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, but I didn't think it would happen." Not just because of the obvious reason between them now. He didn't feel right, trying to hit on her no matter how sincere. "It was always you and Kaz and then me on the outside. And I didn't want to get in the way."

Wilhelm snorts a surprised laugh at the comment on hooking up, though he shouldn't be surprised anymore. He balances it with a thoughtful hum as Jesper describes the other Summoned as a sort of family.

He would be surprised to learn that Jesper's childhood echoes his own. He was different, too, in a way that nobody can see but everybody knows — not because of any power coursing through his veins, but because of his royal blood. His title was like a wall that isolated him from other kids. He had friends, but how many really knew him? How many really understood him? How many cared about him for who he was, and not what he was?

Erik was the only one on his side of the wall.

As Jesper passes coins to the proprietor, Wilhelm peers at the snow globe again. He likes the little pond because it reminds him of the frog in the one his brother had passed down to him. It reminds him of the lake at Hillerska, his school, too.

"Kind. Thoughtful," he answers.

Once the exchange is made, the snow globe gets wrapped in thick paper and tied with a string. Wilhelm takes it, cradling it carefully. They begin to walk again.

"Erik has always been the person I look up to the most. He was always on my side, and I could talk to him about anything."

Jesper hid his abilities and his past even from his closest friends for quite some time, Kaz being the only one who really knew from the start. That is no doubt why he recruited him, but there was a part of him he hid. Being a Grisha was not a source of joy, not for him, until here, and even then it's not shared with everyone. It's hard for anyone to truly know someone else, in his opinion, but if they know enough, that counts.

With Wilhelm needing to hold the globe he lets him have his hand back, although he keeps an arm slung around his shoulders because he can. Jesper glances down at him when he catches the 'was' and 'could.' He pays close attention to people when they talk and reads through them. He knows what that means. No wonder he was feeling wistful about the globes.

"That sounds lovely. Everyone should have one of those if they're lucky." He hopes that even if the brother is lost, the things he'll remember about him will eventually be only the good parts. That's how he has been about Matthias and his mother lately. "We may not be blood, but that's been Inej for me."

He nods. In one measure, at least, he was lucky. He can't imagine what his life would be like if there had never been an Erik, what he would be like absent Erik's influence, beyond the blurriest outline. He'd be much lonelier, he supposes. His thumb brushes over the packaging cradling his new snow globe, contemplating its contents. That's two gifts Jesper has gotten for him now; he would have to find a way to repay his generosity.

As they resume their walk through the market, Wilhelm settles into his place tucked into Jesper's side, bracketed by his arm. He likes it there. At the dropping of Inej's name, his expression brightens with recognition.

"I know Inej, she's cool," comes his glowing review. "So she's a part of your Cadens family?"

As Jesper had called it. It's a nice concept. In Thorne, they feel less like a family and more like a hostage situation these days.

Oh.

She lingers in that kiss with him, so gentle and sweet. It’s such a stark difference to what she knows, and it makes her a little dizzy with happiness. Her fingers curl into the material of his shirt, fingers pressing flat above his heart when the kiss ends so she can feel the steady rhythm under her hand. “Thank you,” she whispers softly.

“You have?” she can feel her cheeks flush at his admission. Maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise, all things considered, but somehow he always manages to surprise her. “You don’t still feel that way, do you? On the outside?” Perhaps a silly question considering the moment, but she wants to be sure.

"She's a part of my gang, we're from the same world." Jesper doesn't know if that's come up if he knows Inej. The two of them are inseparable in Cadens so everyone there knows the two are locked at the hip, they live together, but outside of Cadens it may not be as obvious.

"We've been best friends for years. When I got here, she was in Solvunn, she was able to move to Free Cities during the peace summit to join me." The two of them couldn't bear the idea of staying a faction apart so when the option came up, they had to take it. But Inej knew that staying in Solvunn would probably have driven Jesper insane. He doesn't want to ever go back to a farmland, Cadens is far more his scene, and so she moved without question. Now with Kaz there it feels like it was the best move.

"She is very cool. Did you know she's an incredible acrobat? A tight rope walker."

"Thank you," he whispers back. She doesn't have to be grateful for him being sweet, but it's alright, Jesper understands she's handling this the way she has to. He will keep being who he is and someday that healing will be an afterthought.

He chuckles at her question and she blushes and it's so cute. Jesper can't help kissing those flushed cheek, wanting to make her giggle and blush and be like any other teenage girl kissing a cute teenage boy. She deserves normalcy like that. "No, not since he let us in." Jesper was never really worried about him and Inej. He figured it was always possible they could work things out together, one way or the other. Kaz though. They both know he's hard.

"You and Kaz, you two are a part of me. More than my heart, you two are in my soul. It's just confirmation, that we all feel that way."

He makes it easy to feel safe, especially here in this space that they’ve utterly made their own for nearly a year now. Wild to think it was really that long ago. Wild to think it hasn’t been longer, too.

Her nose scrunches in a cute way when he pecks her cheeks where the heat had risen to stain them. It makes the color flush brighter still, but she is nothing but elated by it all. Witnessing him with dates and flings and Wylan never could have really prepared her being on the receiving end of Jesper as a doting lover. And she’s a bit shocked to realize that is the way she thinks of him now. He’s still her best friend, but he’s more now, too.

It’s a sort of floaty feeling, all that attention and affection turned toward her, soft and sweet and ripe for the taking. It’s a little intoxicating at first, if she’s completely honest. She smiles softly and murmurs a soft, “Good,” against his lips before kissing him once more- short but soft and sweet.

“You’re going to make me cry,” she whispers, in fact, blinking back tears right now. She takes a statement like that very serious and very much to heart. She does believe in soulmates, but she thinks it’s not just one person you’re destined to fall in love with forever. It’s so much more complicated than that; it’s possible with many people, and for many types of relationships across the board.

Inej, much like Jesper, seems too kind to belong to a gang. Wilhelm tries not to think too deeply about what such a life must demand. And he tries not to pass judgment, because from what Jesper had described, their city is a dog-eat-dog sort of place. It could be that finding a gang to stick with is the only way to make sure you don't get ground up in the jaws of the city.

Besides, the royal court is a kind of gang. The nobility is a kind of gang. The only difference is that they have the best lawyers and the arm of the media to cover up their crimes.

"I've seen her climb straight up and down a wall. And I never hear her footsteps, she's like a ghost." He laughs. "Now it all makes sense."

That is one of the secrets of being with Jesper. When he shines a light on someone, he gives them all of him. His attention, his love, his affection, his humor. There is no one else in a room, in the world, when he is wrapped up in someone he cares for. He and Inej have been locked at the hip since he arrived, closer than they ever were before because of that year together. He knows that was part of Kaz adjusting here too, seeing them so much in lockstep with each other, bonded in a new way separate from him.

"Don't cry, love." Jesper has always been sweet with her, but never so gentle as right now. He caresses her cheek and presses their foreheads together. He may be loving to many people, but there is no question that what they share is something deeper. It's their life before coming here, trustful friendship, and their life since coming here, a team. He doesn't lie. He feels her not only in his heart, it's like she's her own limb.

"This time with you, while we both healed and adjusted to life here, it's been very important to me. I couldn't have survived without you." He would have, but he wouldn't still have kept the person he was. He'd have to make himself anew, but not with her around.

That would be a fair assessment. Ketterdam is half criminals, half merchants, and sometimes both sides flip depending on the day or circumstance. Jesper joined that end after his addiction and his boredom made school untenable, and he's never looked back. Until right before coming here, when he agreed to be a merchant's house boyfriend for a time. He has no shame when it comes to criminal activity or what he's done in his past.

"I've known her for years and I still have no idea when she's behind me. It's become a joke between us." Jesper laughs. "Sometimes I'll just turn around and pretend I knew she was there, and then she'll be on the other side of me." He loves that about her though. He technically could change it, due to him practicing with his super hearing, but he hasn't been able to get that precise. And it's their thing. "Kaz is the only one who knows, I have no idea how."

"The happy kind, this time," she explains quietly, smiling softly as he pulls her close so their foreheads are pressed together. "Not all tears are bad," it had taken a long time for her to remember that, too. She still felt weak for it, most days, but this was different.

"Oh, Jesper," she breathes out softly and drops her head onto his chest, her arms winding around him best she can. "I don't know where I'd have ended up, if not for you," she admits, burying her face against his shoulder.

Jesper puts an arm around her to hold her close, burrowing his nose down into her hair, kissing the top of her head. "You'll never have to know, love. I'm yours."

"Another friend of yours?" he asks. His eyes wander over the wares offered at every stall they pass, but most of his attention sticks to Jesper.

He likes hearing about Jesper's friends, the kaleidoscope of people he surrounds himself with. Jesper's world — not necessarily the literal planet he's from, but more so the space he's inhabited, the life he's lived — is so different from his. More interesting, more exciting.

Most of Wilhelm's friends were just people to pass the time with. The roots never really stretched deeper than joking around and having fun. For all that he'd bitched about having to leave his friends behind when he was sent to boarding school, the texting dried up fast. Group chats became foreign countries full of inside jokes he wasn't part of.

It's nice that Jesper has at least one friend from home here with him. So many months removed from his old life, Wilhelm wouldn't know what to do if suddenly a familiar face popped up. Well, maybe with one or two exceptions.

"Kaz? Yeah, he's the boss. The leader of the Dregs, of the Crows." Jesper wonders what Kaz would make of Wilhelm. Probably the obvious, a sweet pigeon, exactly how Jesper saw him at first. Kaz has been trying to interact more with people here, maybe he won't be so quick to write someone off. A question for another time.

"I'm his second, always have been." His right-hand man, the one that Kaz puts faith in when sometimes he shouldn't have. Jesper's information-gathering and charming personality made him a very good contrast to the serious Kaz. There is fondness in his voice, the same as when he talks about Inej, he loves them, deeply.

"He's here too. Bit quiet and well, he'd stab me if I said shy, so let's say introverted." Although he would say in some ways Kaz is very shy. He puts on the Dirtyhands persona for good reasons, but underneath that, he is more hesitant about other people and what they think of him. "If you see someone tall, dark-haired, always wearing gloves, cheekbones that could cut glass, watching people instead of talking, that'd be him."

Wilhelm starts to laugh, but then realizes that...Jesper might be dead serious about the threat of stabbing. He can tell by the warmth in his tone, though, that their relationship extends beyond the roles they play in their gang. It would be hard to thrive in that world, he supposes, without knowing who exactly you were entrusting your back to.

"Second in command? I didn't realize I was in the company of someone so important," he teases, leaning into Jesper's side.

There is a swelling storm and I'm caught up in the middle of it all

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can wrap here or on yours :D

<3

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might be time to wrap this, so sweet

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