"No, that's not it. That's not why..."

Mat shakes his head, sighing heavily. The words just come out, all on their own, no thought on his part. If he'd thought, he wouldn't have spoke.

"There's something wrong inside me, Jesper, something wrong and dark. I'm not being poetic or metaphorical, either. There's a darkness that's just a part of my soul, it's the very center of me. And one of these days..."

A man can't fight his nature forever, can he? It isn't even as though Mat has ever had any grand ambitions for his own morality. Just to manage to be better than his father, and he can at least say he's mostly managed that. He knows what's inside him. So did everyone else, back home, though only Moraine had ever put it plainly in words.

It will all come out here, too. One way or another. It's like this place is determined to draw out and nurture that part of him.

"That's the man you want, Jesper. A man so very fucked up that his soul is essentially a beacon for the Dark One. And much as it touches me - deeply - that you are so devoted...I can at least be decent enough to warn you."

Jesper can be prepared.

"It's not like I write love letters to anyone else, either."