"I assure you," Ralston says, punctuated by click of the cane's foot as he eases himself down to sit at the very foot of the esteemed general's bed—the place for all well behaved dogs. "That I am the very definition of respectful."

He makes himself comfortable there. The borrowed cane is hooked at the footboard's post; he crosses his leg, ankle over knee; if there were a clock on the nonexistant mantle of this neat little room, he might take its measurement now.

"I promise not to turn your limbs toward any embarrassing arrangement."