Sorry, sorry. [ She does seem apologetic. She didn't mean to snap. She's been on edge recently anyway. ] I mean, all magic is about control. Wild is just... it's not somethin' I would rely on without someone to help me through, if that makes sense. Wait.
[ Her nose wrinkles a little. She's having a vague recollection of talking to someone about this same thing, months and months ago. It wasn't the smoothest conversation. ]
Is this that kid that set his bed curtains on fire in his sleep a while back? 'Cause I already tried to explain this to him and he was kind of a dick about it. [ She sighs. ] I can't exactly explain how to control it while he sleeps, if that's it. I can barely even do it. When I have nightmares, sometimes things break or burn in my room. It used to be worse, though -- the longer I been in Abraxas, the easier it got.
[ The things Julie has lived through will never leave her, she knows that. They will always live in her subconscious, waiting to strike in the dark. The death rattles, the slave girls, the crucifixions. The excruciating pain of her own death. But time and distance has eased it slightly, like any wound. ]
Look, just tell 'im that... tell 'im that he needs to learn to separate the two in his mind before he can learn to use 'em together. He can be angry or sad or scared, but he has to find the line in his mind between himself and the magic. It's there, he just has to search for it. And that's how he can learn to hold magic and work it, or let it go and feel the more dangerous stuff. Am I makin' any sense? My world didn't have any magic at all, so I don't always know exactly how to explain it. [ She is willing to draw a picture if needed. It won't be very good, but she will draw it. ] And there are books, in Nott. They're for little kids, really, picture books, but they can help. I read all of 'em I could find.
[ Nodding, she leans back on her hands. ]
Just be careful. I'm afraid the crown might pull some shit now that they have an openin' to fuck with Nott. The guy in charge in Nott, he's the closest thing to a good leader I seen since I been here, though. And no one I ever met there wants anythin' at all to do with the nonsense comin' outta the castle.
no subject
[ Her nose wrinkles a little. She's having a vague recollection of talking to someone about this same thing, months and months ago. It wasn't the smoothest conversation. ]
Is this that kid that set his bed curtains on fire in his sleep a while back? 'Cause I already tried to explain this to him and he was kind of a dick about it. [ She sighs. ] I can't exactly explain how to control it while he sleeps, if that's it. I can barely even do it. When I have nightmares, sometimes things break or burn in my room. It used to be worse, though -- the longer I been in Abraxas, the easier it got.
[ The things Julie has lived through will never leave her, she knows that. They will always live in her subconscious, waiting to strike in the dark. The death rattles, the slave girls, the crucifixions. The excruciating pain of her own death. But time and distance has eased it slightly, like any wound. ]
Look, just tell 'im that... tell 'im that he needs to learn to separate the two in his mind before he can learn to use 'em together. He can be angry or sad or scared, but he has to find the line in his mind between himself and the magic. It's there, he just has to search for it. And that's how he can learn to hold magic and work it, or let it go and feel the more dangerous stuff. Am I makin' any sense? My world didn't have any magic at all, so I don't always know exactly how to explain it. [ She is willing to draw a picture if needed. It won't be very good, but she will draw it. ] And there are books, in Nott. They're for little kids, really, picture books, but they can help. I read all of 'em I could find.
[ Nodding, she leans back on her hands. ]
Just be careful. I'm afraid the crown might pull some shit now that they have an openin' to fuck with Nott. The guy in charge in Nott, he's the closest thing to a good leader I seen since I been here, though. And no one I ever met there wants anythin' at all to do with the nonsense comin' outta the castle.