[ At the question he closes his eyes. There are parts of this that are still shaky in his memory, because they are hard to reconcile with what he knows in the present. There are parts that he hasn't ever said aloud to another person before. ]

I remember... one day, I received word that the temple of the Oracles was under siege. I left my watch and returned to my world to recover Rousma before she burned with the others. We escaped, and I brought her back to Earth, but - the Rifter received a letter meant for me while I was gone, and he made his way back to our world.

[ He failed. His features twist again. ]

I tried to follow after him. But the key was destroyed when he left, and the gate too. I forced my way through and... something went wrong. [ He remembers Rousma begging him not to go. Cowering when he'd pulled out his blade, as if he meant to cut her. ] I made it to my world, somehow, but my mind was scattered. My memories made no sense and my world was... changed somehow. The church had been destroyed thirty years earlier, Rousma... I didn't even remember her, but -

[ Umbhra'ibaye had been destroyed long before he would've returned to save her. She'd burned with the rest of the Oracles.

The guilt in his chest is like a heavy weight. ]