I'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ sɪᴄᴋ ʙᴜᴛ I'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴡᴇʟʟ ( closed )

[stations]

Who: Jack Townsend & Co.
When: Month of April
Where: Nocwich; Thorne; The Horizon;
What: April Catch-All
Warnings: language, psychological horror, likely mentions of drugs, amputations, gaslighting, mental instability

Pᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴘɪᴛᴀʟ ғᴏʀ ɴᴇʀᴠᴇs
Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ ᴍᴇ
Yᴏᴜ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀʟʟ I ᴡᴀs ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ
Tʜᴇʏ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏғғ ᴍʏ ʟᴇɢs, ɴᴏᴡ I'ᴍ ᴀɴ ᴀᴍᴘᴜᴛᴇᴇ, Gᴏᴅ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ʏᴏᴜ

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[stations]

For as reticent as he was to have a babysitter, he might actually have to admit to himself he kind of... prefers Kyle's presence lately. Not just because he likes the guy, not just because they're friends and he enjoys spending time together, but because — yeah, look, the last few weeks were shit, okay? They were terrifying, they were a drugged-up haze of monsters and cultists and spooky bullshit, and he just likes feeling a little bit safer when his ninja roommate bodyguard happens to be within sight-line just in case.

He still doesn't sleep much, but when he does, he sleeps better knowing Kyle's there.

And if, in turn, he has a tendency to keep watch while Kyle sleeps, shut up about it. There's no reason, nobody should ask any questions, and he's totally equipped to do something about it if, say, some cultist were to teleport into their room and make a move to jump the sleepy ninja.

It is not a big deal when Kyle disappears for a few hours. Like, at all.

And he's not going to brain-text the guy. He's not.

And he's also not immensely relieved when he does come back — sarcastic lies aside, he is immediately interested when he spots the stack of paperbacks that come with him.

"Probably," he says, immediately ignoring the food in favor of plucking up some books to start flipping through them. "What are these? Why books? Also, thank you. But you didn't have to. But I'm glad you did. This is awesome."

There's something Jack was supposed to tell him, something important. Something he's immediately forgotten thanks to the new reading material.

It probably has to do with the ominous scratching noise and faint rustling that Kyle might pick up from somewhere underneath his bed — barely audible, easy to miss.

[ushiri]

Kahlil studies the vegetable a little bit more intensely before curiosity gives in and he bites it in half, his face immediately scrunching up. Yes, definitely pickled. Good thing his taste buds have adapted in these months here, otherwise it might've come right back up. It might be something Jack has begun to notice about him since they've lived together, or two things. The strange way he eats, everything in small, exploratory pieces, and the way he seems genuinely curious about so many things, even as simple as a root vegetable.

"Hmm?" he asks, swallowing the finally swallowing the one piece and taking another bite. He chews on it thoughtfully and with less of a scrunch to his nose this time. Both eyebrows raise, confused.

"Because you love to read."

He answers like that's the obvious answer.

And then, there's the scratching.

Kahlil's eyes immediately narrow. He doesn't ask Jack what is that? or do you hear that? Not after the month they've had. Instead, he's off the bed, landing silently on the floor without knocking over a single plate between them and crouching to look under the bed.

[stations]

It's only the flash of movement out of the corner of his eye that finally distracts him from his unexpected book haul, and it takes him about two seconds too long to piece together what exactly is probably going on. By the time he does, Kyle's already gently ducking down, peering into the darkness.

Jack barely manages to get out, "Shit- wait, I forgot to tell you-"

Before two glowing eyes appear in the space beneath the bed.

Chaos unfolds rather quickly.

What probably seems at first like the world's fattest, meanest housecat gives a sharp hiss, and then launches herself out from beneath the bed. She scurries past Kyle, between his legs, up his back, and then launches herself at his plate, snatching up pickled root vegetable with her tiny little burglar hands.

"No- Rita- bad, bad girl-" Jack scrambles to yank Kyle's plate away from what, by now, must be clearly identifiable as not a cat. The two massive, fluttering wings on its back probably help rule it out, though they don't belong on the animal it actually is, either.

Kyle's met the larger, older version of her once already — in the Horizon, behind the dumpster in Jack's domain. This one is definitely more appropriately raccoon-sized, but... real. Way more real than she should be, and presently dunking Kyle's vegetables into Jack's nearby glass of water so she can gobble them down like a fucking goblin.

[ushiri]

The warning very much would've been appreciated about two seconds earlier.

"What the f-"

Kahlil, normally in control of his every movement with the kind of grace only dancers and assassins are capable of, sputters and nearly falls on his ass as a very furry, very angry creature scurries up his body to launch itself on the bed.

He's still on his feet, despite the chaos. Between his pointer finger and thumb is a cold burning seam in reality, the Unseen Edge, ready to cut through what is - at his first though, a very large, very aggressive Abraxan rodent of a species he's never seen before. His arm is raised, hovering in the air.

"Rita?"

Okay, that part he caught. And - alright. It bears resemblance to the creature he'd met in Horizon, but that was Horizon. Surely she couldn't have followed him out here into the real world. And even if she could, why is she so small?

(not that he should really complain)

[stations]

Rita evidently knows her name, because she stops dunking her pickled root vegetable for a moment. Just long enough to swivel her head Kyle's direction and hiss again, before defiantly stuffing that last fistful directly into her maw. Once it's gone, she flaps her wings, which barely manage to heave her hefty, sagging bottom into the air where she hovers, wavering a wobbling foot or two above the ground.

And then she drops, and walks on her hind legs like she thinks she's people, directly up to Kyle's leg — where she begins trying to fish around in his pockets.

"Yeah, so, um...." Jack starts, apologetically scraping half of his own vegetables onto Kyle's plate before he offers it out contritely. "I kind of meant to tell you as soon as you got back, but then I got distracted by the books. While you were gone, I think I did... something. Somehow."

With a faint little nod Rita's direction.

"I was nodding off a little, almost-napping, thinking about how much better the whole... Pit Situation would have been if I had Rita there for it, and I think I accidentally... made her. It's been a couple hours and she hasn't gone away, so I think she might just... live here... now?"

[ushiri]

Rita scarfs down more food from his plate, and the Unseen Edge fizzles out between his fingers as she hovers for that brief moment before darting up his leg. He makes his own hissing sound in surprise, arms up and away from the creature.

"Live here..." he repeats incredulously as the strange creature continues to rifle through his pockets. She'll be disappointed to find nothing remotely edible in there, and unless she plans on chewing through the fabric she won't find his hidden pockets carrying coin.

Kahlil has never had a pet before. He doesn't have any particular desire to own and keep a pet. That takes time he doesn't have (money too), and the poor thing would end up neglected. He's best off with the crystal turtle they received, something that needs no food, no water, or attention.

"Ah -"

There's a noise like a startled laugh as one of those little paws scratch-tickles him in the side.

One of his hands closes into a fist and he whistles to get her attention. Held between two fingers, appearing out of nowhere, is a crystal berry. He whistles again and chucks it in Jack's general direction.

[stations]

Okay, this is actually... kind of incredibly adorable? Watching Kyle not really know what to do with his hands while a raccoon tries to gently mug him is some particularly white-trash version of sweet. It's amusing enough that Jack doesn't actually try to call her off.

"If- that's okay with you. I don't think I can get rid of her. Morally, or like... in general." Turning loose a mutant moth-raccoon he imagined into existence, setting it free and abandoned into the wildlife surrounding Castle Thorne, seems ethically reprehensible. Also, he has the feeling she'd just find a way to come back. Nobody ever really tells a raccoon what to do.

The berry comes whizzing his direction. His eyes go wide. Rita's eyes go wide.

"Oh, shit-"

She vaults after it.

By some miracle of athletic prowess he doesn't actually have on a normal basis, he manages to catch it — meaning Rita is barreling straight for him. He does the only thing he can think of in that half-second span:

He chucks it directly back at Kyle.

Apparently they're playing monkey in the middle. Rita is not amused, and she tries her hardest to vault into the air to catch it, only to go sprawling backwards like a rolly-polly, butt over face in a graceless backflip.

in which I wonder if they even have windows

[ushiri]

He catches the berry easily with one hand, looking more thoughtful than outright against what Jack is asking.

"Isn't she a wild animal? Will she even be happy here?"

In their room, door closed. Won't she get bored? Maybe Jack could set her loose in the garden... watching her harass unsuspecting courtiers and officials would be funny to him, but not so much if she got caught, killed, and stuffed to be put on someone's mantle.

Oh, he'll stop torturing the poor beast now. He crouches down, holding the berry out on his open palm to the mutated raccoon. A peace offering.

Please don't bite him.

truly excellent question

[stations]

"I have... absolutely no idea," Jack admits bluntly, picking up his plate and fork. "I don't know where on the domestication spectrum to place mutated dream raccoons magically summoned into being. I don't even know where to place real Rita."

The one back home, he means. Technically wild, he supposes, though she lives under the gas station, eats dog food, and obeys simple commands. It's hard to say.

In any case, this Rita seems suspicious of the peace offering. She stares at Kyle for a long, silent moment. Tentatively approaches, reaching out her little almost-human hand slowly, then quickly scoops the berry away to begin munching. When no tricks occur and the berry prize is successfully nommed, she waddles peacefully away to disappear again beneath Jack's bed. Two glowing eyes peer out, blink unevenly, and then go completely dark.

"She's mainly just been hiding under there," Jack explains, spearing a bit of chicken and bringing it to his mouth. "If she's anything like the other Rita, I think she'll probably just sleep most of the time."

[ushiri]

Kahlil grins widely as Rita waddles back to her 'cave'. With any lucky, the berry's magical properties will satiate her hunger for as long as it does for humans and the warmth'll make her comfortable.

Maybe it won't be that bad.

With the beast temporarily subdued, Kahlil climbs back onto the bed. Jack's shoved vegetables back on his plate, but something about rodent fingers touching everything has tempered his appetite. He picks at pieces of meat with his fork, none of it making it to his mouth. He shrugs.

"As long as she doesn't bother the staff too badly, it'll probably be fine."

He gives up on his plate and leans over Jack's legs to grab one of the paperbacks off the nightstand. An eyebrow raises.

"But you're in charge of cleaning up after her."

He's not cleaning up raccoon urine and feces.