Istredd went deep into unconsciousness with no thought possible, as Lucifer promised. No dreams, nothing haunting him, so in a way it was very peaceful. As Lucifer predicted though, when he started to come to, the panic almost instantaneously clicked in about uncertainty where he was. He couldn't smell the mud and there is a mattress underneath him, but there still is a second of uncertainty. Lucifer's voice in his head soothes that as he continues to slowly come awake.
Lucifer? he murmurs a question, confused at first, his brain feeling hazy and full of cobwebs. This is not his bed, he knows that much, it smells like Lucifer, and there are legs on him. It is all very confusing and surreal, his mind taking an extra second or two to jar back. His eyebrows furrow as his eyes blink open, half-hearing Lucifer talking.
And then it hits him abruptly. The bed. The moment before he passed out, when Lucifer's forehead was to his, and he questioned Lucifer's name in the same way. He flushes all at once at the memory of Lucifer on him, warm and solid, joking about staying between him and the door. Their kisses both desperate and lingering, all of it seeming like something out of a dream, but he knows in his gut it was real. But there is no way that he fell asleep naturally with Lucifer finally desiring him, and that clicks into place. Sorry, Lucifer murmured in his head.
Lucifer is completely correct. He sits up abruptly and looks at him. Fury immediately floods him and his jaw clenches, his blue-eyed gaze pure ice and narrowed at him. It feels like a violation but it's also baffling, it's hurtful. Did he not want it? Was it a distraction so he could make him sleep? Was this some kind of a sick game? He'd never played Istredd before and the thought he might have could make him sick. He tries to move and push him away but Lucifer's much stronger.
Then there is the mental block happening which means his intense feelings aren't actually getting through and he mentally kicks against that wall, angry about that as well. He slams against it harder than he's ever done before out of sheer frustration, but not enough to crack it. He wants to pull that wall down and force him to feel his fury but also his pain and confusion too, the betrayal that is stemming as an automatic reaction to something he can't understand yet.
He sucks in a sharp breath and considers tossing things at Lucifer from the other side of the room until he let him move. To what? Storm out of the room? Shout at him? Probably. Instead he is properly stuck and his fingers curl into a fist, definitely considering punching him in his stupid face. Yet it's Lucifer and him, so despite the pit in his stomach, he is going to let him talk.
"You need a much better fucking explanation than that, Lucifer. Who would you even ----"
The incredulity and anger takes a turn to be still between them but also up a notch mixed with a little bit of horror. Yennefer. He means Yennefer. He knocked Istredd out and talked to her about what, about them kissing? Istredd puts his head in his hands and just sits with that for a moment. It is embarrassing. It is so outrageously stupid and she is going to laugh at him about it. He is going to have to deal with that later.
"Yennefer already knows, you idiot." He looks at Lucifer through his fingers and just. Hates him a little bit for this entire situation he put them in. "She knows, like everyone else that has ever met us knows. How could you think -- why would you assume!" Istredd lies back down on the bed to give himself a second to process.
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Lucifer? he murmurs a question, confused at first, his brain feeling hazy and full of cobwebs. This is not his bed, he knows that much, it smells like Lucifer, and there are legs on him. It is all very confusing and surreal, his mind taking an extra second or two to jar back. His eyebrows furrow as his eyes blink open, half-hearing Lucifer talking.
And then it hits him abruptly. The bed. The moment before he passed out, when Lucifer's forehead was to his, and he questioned Lucifer's name in the same way. He flushes all at once at the memory of Lucifer on him, warm and solid, joking about staying between him and the door. Their kisses both desperate and lingering, all of it seeming like something out of a dream, but he knows in his gut it was real. But there is no way that he fell asleep naturally with Lucifer finally desiring him, and that clicks into place. Sorry, Lucifer murmured in his head.
Lucifer is completely correct. He sits up abruptly and looks at him. Fury immediately floods him and his jaw clenches, his blue-eyed gaze pure ice and narrowed at him. It feels like a violation but it's also baffling, it's hurtful. Did he not want it? Was it a distraction so he could make him sleep? Was this some kind of a sick game? He'd never played Istredd before and the thought he might have could make him sick. He tries to move and push him away but Lucifer's much stronger.
Then there is the mental block happening which means his intense feelings aren't actually getting through and he mentally kicks against that wall, angry about that as well. He slams against it harder than he's ever done before out of sheer frustration, but not enough to crack it. He wants to pull that wall down and force him to feel his fury but also his pain and confusion too, the betrayal that is stemming as an automatic reaction to something he can't understand yet.
He sucks in a sharp breath and considers tossing things at Lucifer from the other side of the room until he let him move. To what? Storm out of the room? Shout at him? Probably. Instead he is properly stuck and his fingers curl into a fist, definitely considering punching him in his stupid face. Yet it's Lucifer and him, so despite the pit in his stomach, he is going to let him talk.
"You need a much better fucking explanation than that, Lucifer. Who would you even ----"
The incredulity and anger takes a turn to be still between them but also up a notch mixed with a little bit of horror. Yennefer. He means Yennefer. He knocked Istredd out and talked to her about what, about them kissing? Istredd puts his head in his hands and just sits with that for a moment. It is embarrassing. It is so outrageously stupid and she is going to laugh at him about it. He is going to have to deal with that later.
"Yennefer already knows, you idiot." He looks at Lucifer through his fingers and just. Hates him a little bit for this entire situation he put them in. "She knows, like everyone else that has ever met us knows. How could you think -- why would you assume!" Istredd lies back down on the bed to give himself a second to process.
"I've felt this way for months."