Shut up. How many times do I need to tell you you're not nobody?
Says that 'powerful and brilliant archangel' who has little value for himself.
Lucifer's been actively dancing around the words 'I want' and he doesn't quite realize it until Istredd's pushed the issue, enough that the realization stops his movements completely and he's staring at a single speck of sand among the thousands in an odd, unwavering shock.
Oh.
Well that.
Makes sense.
He's never been exactly allowed to want anything. He's taken it, what he can get. But wants are a different entity entirely. A different problem. Wanting something leaves so much more room for disappointment when that's all he's ever gotten since his Fall.
It's a very strange mix of equal measure confusion and understanding twined together towards Istredd's mind, strands of thoughts reaching back towards Lucifer's impossible sudden clarity.
How peculiar.
"I..." He blinks and tilts his head up at Istredd in that bird-like twitch.
He nearly says he's pretty sure they might already be in one, but that's still continuing the dance of words he's been doing.
And then.
Lucifer laughs.
A strange, melodic, music box sound to their thoughts. No malicious intent. Effervescent.
"'Why am I still afraid'?" he echoes. This is the same exact fight he had within himself when they were building the bond between them. A dangerous storm, but clearing up, just trickles of rainfall spattering left.
Because here he is recognizing he's terrified to put himself out there, to truly want anything for the first time in years, and Istredd has already pulled open his own ribs and exposed his heart expecting the worst and Lucifer can't be damned to answer back?
No.
No.
Another laugh, bright. He steps across the sand, over a half-buried small bird, and stops in front of Istredd, shoving hands into his pockets. "Yeah," he says, "yeah, Istredd, I want that. The relationship, at least."
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Says that 'powerful and brilliant archangel' who has little value for himself.
Lucifer's been actively dancing around the words 'I want' and he doesn't quite realize it until Istredd's pushed the issue, enough that the realization stops his movements completely and he's staring at a single speck of sand among the thousands in an odd, unwavering shock.
Oh.
Well that.
Makes sense.
He's never been exactly allowed to want anything. He's taken it, what he can get. But wants are a different entity entirely. A different problem. Wanting something leaves so much more room for disappointment when that's all he's ever gotten since his Fall.
It's a very strange mix of equal measure confusion and understanding twined together towards Istredd's mind, strands of thoughts reaching back towards Lucifer's impossible sudden clarity.
How peculiar.
"I..." He blinks and tilts his head up at Istredd in that bird-like twitch.
He nearly says he's pretty sure they might already be in one, but that's still continuing the dance of words he's been doing.
And then.
Lucifer laughs.
A strange, melodic, music box sound to their thoughts. No malicious intent. Effervescent.
"'Why am I still afraid'?" he echoes. This is the same exact fight he had within himself when they were building the bond between them. A dangerous storm, but clearing up, just trickles of rainfall spattering left.
Because here he is recognizing he's terrified to put himself out there, to truly want anything for the first time in years, and Istredd has already pulled open his own ribs and exposed his heart expecting the worst and Lucifer can't be damned to answer back?
No.
No.
Another laugh, bright. He steps across the sand, over a half-buried small bird, and stops in front of Istredd, shoving hands into his pockets. "Yeah," he says, "yeah, Istredd, I want that. The relationship, at least."