Reality doesn’t always give us the life that we desire

[magicalarchaeologist]

WHO: Istredd and anyone!
WHAT: Catch-all for April
WHERE: Thorne, Horizon
WHEN: EARLY April for now, will put later prompts up as time goes on
WARNINGS: PTSD from the event, NSFW thread in comments





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Comments

[magicalarchaeologist]

Being without it in the pit was one of the worst things. And that is saying a great deal considering they were starved, dehydrated, hunted by monsters, and experimented on. Not that I would have wanted you to experience any of that. Istredd probably would have put up a wall to protect him regardless. It's more about the ability to reach out and touch him.

His fingers trace patterns on Lucifer's back, tucking his nose into Lucifer's neck and staying there contently. Warm and close. Maybe he shouldn't talk about that when they're in a good mood, but it came into his mind.

I've never had a bond this deep. We are trained to be very careful. Most of them have the exact one he just displayed. They can communicate easily but that is mostly it, outside of an important distinction or emotion. He is saying it's deeper than the one he had with Yennefer, although that one was cut off pretty sharply.

[thedevilwhorose]

To be fair Lucifer would have equally walled off during it all, for nearly just the same reason as to why he avoided the Horizon. Keep that distance, yes, only he'd want to keep his rage from saturating Istredd's mind.

But it would have been nice to feel that mental pulse that Istredd was still alive. Some bit of reassurance that may have helped him sleep better, anyway.

I bet if someone in your group had an un-boring mind like an archangel that would've been different, he argues. Istredd's curiosity getting the better of him and all that.

[magicalarchaeologist]

It would have made him feel less alone, maybe given him more will to live. Istredd did try to care, but he was tired. Yennefer did find him in the Horizon on the second week and got it into his mind to keep fighting when he was flagging. That is what he needed. But his bond with her is temporarily broken. All they had was those five minutes. He wanted Lucifer.

Impossible though, and probably not the best to keep lingering, although it's difficult not to do that when he still has troubled dreams and a scared mindset. Sleeping with Lucifer every night has done wonders but it hasn't fixed the problem. That will just take more time.

Mmm, doubtful. You're special. I love your personality too. Even when you're being a prick. That's what Istredd meant about falling in love with his mind first. It wasn't the last or only thing he fell in love with. Sometimes especially when you're being a prick. He smiles into Lucifer's skin and kisses his shoulder, biting it gently. He is generally attracted to not-so-nice people, it's true.

It explains why no matter how much Lucifer tried to push him into anger or leaving him, it wouldn't work. Istredd is drawn to the very things he thought would push him away. There were a lot of should I strangle him or kiss him moments.

[thedevilwhorose]

It's not like Lucifer sleeps much better. There's usually some part of him, physically or mentally or both, that is making contact with a pulse point. That if Istredd wakes up, he typically does too, that he might know Istredd's resting heart rate better than his own.

He might, eventually, work through that.

Maybe.

I would hope that does it for you considering I am a prick most of the time. If Istredd wasn't about that they were not going to last for very long, but then they've made it this long for being friends. Months? It really has been. So you did neither and instead just simmered on low heat.

[magicalarchaeologist]

You're only sometimes annoying. With me, at least. Lucifer's always been very tolerant of Istredd's eccentricities too. He pulled him out of the library a few times in the start, and out of the Horizon. Dragged him to Nocwich. Got him out into the world when they were still merely roommates, he didn't leave him behind. Other people are a different story.

Low heat until now. Istredd smiles and lifts his head, drawing Lucifer into a nice slow kiss. It isn't to start anything up though, it's the opposite. You need your beauty sleep. A tease.

"I love you." Now that he's allowed to say it, he's going to. "Go to bed."

it's a wrap

[thedevilwhorose]

Only sometimes? Well, I suppose that's from you simply being accustomed to me. Because really, Lucifer would've driven most people up the wall for his being exactly who he is, with no training wheels. He wasn't going to hide it. If he was going to share space with someone he wasn't going to sleep in masks, even he needed a break. Either Istredd was going to put up with it, or he was going to find a new room.

He stayed.

Well, they both did.

He does, briefly, quirk a smile in response. The small, rare ones. I really do. You wore me out. There you go, Istredd. A parting gift for your smugness. He settles in closer to the mattress, still close, and makes sure the blankets are around himself comfortably.

Don't forget about the glass in the morning.