Reality doesn’t always give us the life that we desire

[magicalarchaeologist]

WHO: Istredd and anyone!
WHAT: Catch-all for April
WHERE: Thorne, Horizon
WHEN: EARLY April for now, will put later prompts up as time goes on
WARNINGS: PTSD from the event, NSFW thread in comments





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Comments

tw: past suicide.

[mobezon]

"You're right. Human madness was enough for me." Louis ought to feel fear at the possibility of divine madness and gods having their ways. The confirmation alone that they existed just made Louis angry and sorrowful, but it's to be expected. A dark part of his mind almost wants them to come to Louis, for them to eat up everything that left him hollow and have them rue it for the pain caused over his decades. He's careful in his tone when he speaks, only absorbing and understanding he has much to learn. It's out of his control.

"The division of Summoned is enough to let me know where we stand. Thank you for telling me." He considers the mention of the sun just as he sees the Singularity. There's an eeriness to it as if the sky could be sucked in at any moment. It's giving him a reactiveness, since all he can think is about is Paul. It's as if it's egging him, and there's a shuffle from the bookcase in the back where a book with empty pages pulls out and thumps on the floor, opening up and writing in bible verses.

The very scriptures that Paul would mutter everyday. His response is to burn it, and the pages burn up. Louis, unaware of just how much control he can have in the Horizon, ceases the pages until all that's left are faded words, one of which is prominent.

Sinner.

Louis stills, unsure of what that was as he steps back with an apologetic gaze.

"I only glimpsed at the Singularity when I first visited here. It's not until now that I truly saw. It's rather exposing. Human madness is all I've known. You're telling me gods exists here. My brother said he heard the angels talking to him. Our god. He suffered from mental illness. I saw my last sunrise with him and then I saw him jump off the roof of our mama's home."

Never mind that he thinks his dark gift is a curse in itself, but maybe he'll have to adapt his mentality to what's being offered. It'll take time. He does not mean to unload upon Istredd, but he's more rattled than he lets on. It's the pit unlocking more than he'd intended. He picks up the tattered book, and with a single thought it restores to its blank pages. It dawns on him then it was his doing.

[magicalarchaeologist]

"There is not much we can do about it, these powers are greater than ours, but there may yet be reasons and understanding we can find." Istredd will never stop trying to understand the world around him. His mind thirsts for answers and that can't end. It's who he is, at his very core, always questioning, always looking for the truth. He doesn't fear the gods because he sees them as a step closer to answers about how the Singularity works, how the sphere works.

Istredd is startled by the sudden appearance of the book and glances over at it. He assumes Louis is doing it but it takes him a moment to realize it's unconscious. He isn't surprised though. Louis has psychic abilities and he is in a space that is instinctively reacting to his mind and heart. It is going to react to him quickly.

The sinner is confusing. He considers as he listens to Louis explain what happened with his brother. And how that connects to his complicated feelings about the sun. He feels only sympathy about it.

"There are different gods in every sphere. Or god-like figures. There are angels here, although I doubt they are the same from your holy books." Lucifer likely is because of course he would be. He can never really escape his story. Perhaps that is why he found love with someone so separated from all of that knowledge.

"I have no family so I don't truly know what it is like to lose them. I am sorry about your brother." Istredd sometimes wonders what it would be like. He's making a family of a kind within the Summoned, but it's not the same thing. He was raised with other mages, but they were never siblings. They were always pawns and tools and colleagues.

Istredd steps over to him when he picks up the book. "The past is impossible to undo but you had every opportunity to give up in the Pit and you chose not to. You wanted to live." He puts a gentle hand on Louis' shoulder. "So live." In the sunlight, in Solvunn.

wrapping c:

[mobezon]

There's a panic in Louis that has him wanting to retract, to reach to those places that he can hide away. If anything, he misses the hand on his shoulder that would ground him when he needed it. Louis had requested it from Armand and through their complications, they had their agreement. They both knew there's a fire in him that can lash out while at the same time Louis could very well throw himself into the sun. If he thought it, he could burn the whole room down. He won't. It would be disrespectful. Louis has grown to like Istredd.

Truthfully, he's grateful Istredd is there. It stops him from spiraling into a full vertigo. There's a conflict shifting onto his face, brows furrowing and his body rigid when he stares at the book on the floor before it's picked up.

"I should have better control over that." That being more than he can say. It could be the psychic ability or something else. It is then that he finds Istredd's hand on his shoulder and instantly his inflamed panic reduces, but his face remains in a frown. There's too much shame in him and the scorched word reminded him of what he was trying to do in Dubai. The pit inflamed the grief in him even if he had tried his best to refrain from hurting anyone. His voice is quieter.

"You don't need to have had blood family. I made my own after I turned. I lost them both, but they remain in my heart still." It's easy to state it, what he's denied vehemently in parts. Be it the conversation, or the lull of Istredd's comforting hand, it brings it out of him. "One of them is in Thorne. We didn't end our relationship on good terms, but... He'd appreciate the sunlight if you have a spare ring. I will consider it for myself."

He takes the book from Istredd. He's going to take it with him. Louis takes a deep breath before he sighs softly, his lines softening his face. He still has his tendencies to want to become ashes, but he'll live. It's the best he can do right now. He walks over to the wall he'd considered making a doorway. A thought, right? There is a faint glow to the edges of what is becoming a door.

"You've been a gracious host. I hope to return the sentiment next." They could have been there for hours or it was a mere short visit. All he knows is that he feels he's overstaying. It's been a while since he's had an outburst.