[ Claire has never had anyone to talk to in-depth about this sort of thing before, who had anything even remotely like what she experienced in their world. And so she hangs onto every word Claude is saying. ]
Is it science? Or is it magic?
[ Both? At his question, her face flickers through a range of emotions. Her face is like glass, it always has been. There's confusion and apprehension, mixed with a wariness that briefly crosses her features before settling on confusion. ]
That's the thing. I've only just met John from my perspective. Just once; he helped my husband escape a likely execution. But after that, we were sailing someplace thousands of miles away from him, so I'm not unsure how we cross paths again.
[ No need to mention that John is in love with her husband and that he's also raising Jamie's son with another woman. Claire doesn't even want to think about it. ]
He had an injury when he arrived [ Caused by Jamie's fist ] that I tended to briefly while I was helping in Nocwich, at the makeshift medical area in the square. We spoke at length, but I've asked him not to tell me anything crucial about myself. Not yet, in any case.
It's magic from what I know. But I have seen others in my world use a more advanced form of teleporting which would take them for far greater distances, as in to somewhere else entirely, and as for how that works I'm not sure. It either requires vastly different magic or some other method.
[ And some other method isn't out of the realm of possibility; given that the Agarthans had so much technology he hadn't seen before, it makes complete sense to him that this was how they had moved in and out of Fodlan as needed.
Claire's expression isn't something he recognizes other than the quick shifts of emotions, and it soon becomes clear why when she reveals more complications than simply a matter of years alone. He listens attentively with brow furrowed slightly. It's only fair to have his question mostly turned back around on him, though he offers Claire a rueful smile. ]
Ah, I have the perspective of being the one from further on in time rather than farther back in it. But if it were me, I wouldn't want to know my future that far out either since there's too much that could happen.
[ He's silent for a moment as he turns his gaze back to Lallybroch to look at it again briefly, thinking of first the decade and then two hundred years, and how time seems to have played some terrible tricks on them both. Maybe Claire's situation is different in that it seems someday she might be willing to hear something of the future. Had he been right in withholding what he knew? ]
Speaking of that perspective. I haven't told Hilda about what happens for much the same reason. It seemed... worse to tell her about it, and to know that if we ever leave here that's what's waiting for her.
[ Claire goes quiet at that last thought, glancing down at her teacup and contemplating her words carefully. It feels like a hole in her gut to hear about, even if she heard it first from Hilda herself. Already, Claire feels so protective of her and perhaps she has no right to it, but the young woman is dear to her and made an impression on her heart.
Letting out a soft breath, her eyes finally meet Claude's once more. ]
She has an idea, though? She told me she thinks she's...gone. I don't think she knows any details at all, but she suspects something.
[ This topic feels so close to home that she has to put down her teacup. ]
I thought my husband was dead for twenty years. I was so sure that war claimed him because I knew the history. His entire clan was wiped out, as if they never existed, and I couldn't find his name in records or documents.
[ Even knowing that he was obviously alive, it was such an emotional upheaval in her life, a wound that wouldn't heal, that it reflects in her voice. Clearing her throat, she takes a sip of the tea which she's enjoying. ]
Twenty years, only to find out later that he'd changed his name and gone into hiding. It's as you say—too much could happen. I think it's for the best Hilda doesn't know any specifics.
[ If someone asked Claude, he'd answer in a heartbeat that he'd made the right decision, he decides now in yet another round of this same debate with himself. It has to be; sparing her from knowing what all happened at Gronder still seems like a kindness. That doesn't change that it's waiting there for her, of course, when they return from Abraxas or however that process works.
He's just turned his gaze back to Claire again when she tells him Hilda has an idea of what's coming. There's just enough time for him to arch an eyebrow curiously and begin to wonder how that's possible when she finishes that thought with something he doesn't expect at all. It's only from years of practice of controlling his expressions to let nothing slip by that saves him from outwardly reacting now when it feels like the ground tilts beneath him from sheer shock.
There's more Claire tells him - important details that he's trying to force himself to absorb as his mind spins. The pain in her voice, however: that seeps through every word into his consciousness. Such a thing needs no explanation when it can be felt that viscerally. ]
Gone? I don't-- [ Wherever that thought was going seems to have no destination when he doesn't have a way to finish it, not even when the obvious conclusion is to say Hilda is alive in his time. He might have if it wasn't for the rest of what Claire's said hits him while he's still mentally floundering. ] Was being apart from him for so long also part of your time traveling?
[ That's something else he can't wrap his mind around - that sense of loss which must have affected her deeply even if he doesn't mean to pry into something so clearly hurtful past the basic understanding. Somehow that's easier to focus on than there being some time where he'd have to exist without Hilda. ]
[ It's when he asks gone? that Claire realizes she might have made a mistake; did Claude not know? Christ, she assumed Hilda found out from him, and now she doesn't know what to say to try and make it better. When he asks a question, she's still trying to figure out how to make it better, though she suspects she can't. ]
It was, I—there was a war in his time and I knew, being from the future, that the final battle would be brutal, and bloody, and over in less than half an hour. I knew that everyone in his clan would be killed and we tried to stop it, but history wouldn't allow it. Jamie couldn't travel to my time. He tried, but it didn't work for him.
[ Even after all this time, even after being reunited with him, it still feels like shredding her soul to think about being ripped away from Jamie. ]
I was pregnant; we'd already lost one child, so...
[ Claire trails off; she hasn't even told Hilda that part, and she surprises herself by saying it now. ]
I'm sorry, Claude. I didn't mean to veer this conversation into something upsetting.
[ She's apologizing for her own sad story but also for potentially devastating him. ]
[ It helps to have her voice to focus on, even if what she tells him is something he wishes she didn't have to live through. The uncertainty that went with that must have been unbearable. To be able to change times to prevent something for yourself but not for everyone, and not for someone so deeply cared for: even though others have described it to him from their own times, the cruelties with how time can move so swiftly seem so deeply unfair.
All the more reason to give a shake of his head once he's clawed his mind back from reeling and tucked the distress away to examine later, because the last thing he wants is for Claire to feel any guilt about any of this. ]
Please, don't apologize. If there's anything I've learned from being here, it's that many of the Summoned have lived through awful things none of us should have ever had to deal with so for whatever it may be worth, there are others besides us who understand. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to have to go so long without knowing what happened as you did.
[ Not meant to minimize, but to share even if their varieties of grief from their own lives likely all differ in meaningful ways. Claude's quiet for another small stretch of time, again to weigh his words carefully. Not because there's a chance of any of this getting back to Hilda nor because he minds if it does, but because - what's the best way to sum up what he's learned in both what happened in his time and didn't? ]
The war in Fodlan I mentioned. It ended decisively in the Alliance's favor - where Hilda and I are from - as much as war ends in anyone's favor, but since coming here I've learned that isn't always the case. Two others we know, or three if you count someone who was here and then departed, have lived something else with enough similarities that it could overlap but doesn't due to some very distinct differences.
[ There's the simplest way he can put it even if it's no less confusing, but it does bring him closer to the point he's actually trying to make as he offers Claire a subdued smile. ]
The losses were great in what I lived through, and there was always the chance of someone falling on our side just as much as the others. I know of my fate in my timeline and another, but not in the third one. There's just as much chance I'm no longer alive there, either.
[ Claude's thoughtfulness in the conversation is noted, and her thumb moves around the rim of her teacup as she thinks and listens to him. She understands as much as she's able to, but the heart of it all, that she gets. ]
Then being here must be a two-sided coin. It isn't home, but it is time.
[ Time for things that may not be possible outside of Abraxas, time not to take for granted. ]
I spent so much of mine with Jamie trying to stop what was going to happen, and I wish we hadn't, that we'd tried to have at least a year of quiet.
[ There was no avoiding Culloden, and they could have gotten through Jamie's torture and the loss of Faith with more of their souls intact, maybe. ]
You three have something here that seems special and somewhat rare. I hope you never lose sight of it.
[ Claire offers a soft smile, unable to help giving a piece of motherly advice. Trying to break the melancholy, she scoffs. ]
I sounded very much like an old lady then, didn't I?
[ A two-sided coin is a very good way of putting it. Claude's had the same thought himself, that having those here who aren't alive at home is a blessing as much as it can be a curse; who's to say whether Abraxas will allow them to really have this time at all? Even without the recent events erupting into something horrifying, there's been an undercurrent of foreboding lurking beneath it all since his arrival.
Recognition in Claire's words rings true to him of something he's been doing - perhaps in the wrong way of going about it - in trying to prevent something inevitable. It feels a bit like looking into a mirror for a second in that Claude's abruptly aware this had been his goal in not sharing what he knows from his time. As if by not doing so he might prevent - something, but something that'd allow them to have something beyond what history will soon demand.
Her scoff and comment, though: those get a twitch of a smile from him. ]
Well, I don't know about old since I hesitate to call anyone that, but we could go with... knowledgeable. But now that I think about it, I used to call my combat instructor that or some variation when I was a kid and he was lecturing me, so that might be almost the same thing. [ With a grin for good measure since a bit of humor feels warranted here - for both of their sakes. ] I'll have to think of something better and more befitting.
In the meantime, you're correct that what we have here is something rare. All of us have it, that is, [ as though he admittedly doesn't grasp the intricacies of Claire's own time differences, Claude still feels this applies here as well, ] and I hope that no matter what you decide to learn about from your friend that's now here, it also becomes something that's a gift over anything else.
[ Claire laughs softly, and there's some sparkle of good humor there. She likes Claude as much as she likes Hilda, and tries to come up with a title. ]
I suppose you could call me a wise woman. Which still implies old but it sounds better.
[ Her features soften though, wondering how it is someone so young can be so wise. In her experience, it comes from aging too quickly, but she would never assume. ]
Thank you, Claude. I need the reminder just as much as anyone else. Admittedly, I don't know what to think, or if I truly want to know much, but you're right in that it's still a gift to be known.
[ She has the strong urge to hug him, but instead finishes her tea. ]
Did you say the others don't like your favorite tea? Because I find myself enjoying it. There's something about it that's comforting, I can't quite put my finger on it.
[ With a laugh, since, well: he'd discarded saying it for the exact reasons she'd just said. Also because it might have been one of the other descriptions he'd given said combat instructor in an attempt to rile the man up some more which is far from his goal here.
Time at least is a topic they can tackle another time, whether it's what Claude knows of his own or what Claire has yet to discover for herself and if she even wants to. As she said - Abraxas has given them a gift, in some ways, even if it's also fraught with all kinds of things he'd rather not think about on his end. But there's time to navigate those as well, or so he thinks.
Tea is a much safer topic all around, and a slight smile comes to her face as she inquires about it. ]
I don't know if they don't like it so much as it's not necessarily among their favorites. Mostly floral or fruit teas seem to win most favor there whereas I just find them alright at best, so it's a tradeoff. [ He'd been absently drinking his tea through their conversation without noticing, Claude realizes when he looks down to see his own cup mostly empty. ] I grew up where pine forests are prevalent, so for that reason this tea always reminds me of home. Most of the other ones I grew up drinking weren't quite as elaborate as, say, lavender blends or ones with all kinds of spices.
[ It's easier, at least right now, to think of all the good things time can give them, instead of the actions of worse people on Abraxas. Claire isn't so naive as to think with Jocelyn out of the picture things will never be dire again, but for now, she'll enjoy the time with new friends. ]
I was never a fan of overt florals, but subtly is key when working with them. Fruit as well, although fruit tea is better served over ice, if you've never had it that way. And with no sugar added, there's no reason for that.
[ She'll have to make some, real southern style tea that's been steeped in the sun for hours. ]
Tea is a funny sort of issue in my time. Well, it will be. There's a whole skirmish where one country dumps all its tea in a harbor in protest to the country importing it. But that's a history lesson from a country on a planet you're not even from.
[ Claire laughs and gets back on topic. ]
The one I've made you is less fanciful, but I admit I've gotten a bit blend-happy being in a place where I can.
Really? They dumped all of it just to send a message?
[ He'd meant to comment on tea varieties first, but hearing this gets a laugh from him as he tries to picture this happening in Derdriu and the seas abruptly turning into tea or something equally fanciful that brief description brings to mind. ]
I'm happy to report my feelings on any particular tea nor any other country are quite so strong as to demand that, interesting as it sounds. My tastes have always leaned a little more towards the herbal side, I suppose, considering my other favorite tea is chamomile. If she's not already told you, Hilda likes both floral and fruit teas, though.
[ Hopefully a helpful tip for the next time the two women get together, anyway. Claude looks back at his own tea cup then curiously as he remembers the ingredients. ]
This one you've made, however, is quite nice. Should you ever make it in person, I'd love to pick up some you've made on one of the weekends Nocwich is open to us all, and I'm happy to pay for it too since
some of my tags apparently wound up in an au inbox somewhere i'm sorry!
[ Claire laughs, not at him but because yes, it's absolutely ridiculous. Nodding, she finishes her tea and sits back comfortably still smiling. ]
There's quite a lot more that went into it, one country trying to move out from under the thumb of another. And eventually, another war I'll see.
[ She still smiles, but it's a sort of resigned one, tired around the edges and laced with frustration. Now that John's arrived she knows: another war Jamie will have to fight, for nearly identical reasons he fought against the Redcoats before. Except this time he'll have to fight with them, if they want to keep their land. What a fucking mess; it's easier to talk about tea in the harbor. ]
I believe herbal teas are certainly the most calming and what I drink the most. They're easy to administer medicine through, especially with enough honey if someone needs it. Plus, the honey is helpful in bringing down inflammation, so it doubles as a good thing.
[ His compliment is more appreciated than he thinks; she doesn't always need to make rounds for medical things, and it's how she's used to helping. If she can create something else that others enjoy then it might feel even more like home, here. She doesn't pause to think about whether or not she should be inviting that feeling. Claire does wave him off about paying, though. ]
You'll keep your money and anything worth trading, and I'll be sure to have something for you when Nocwich opens. We can meet and perhaps try someone else's tea-making abilities at one of the cafes.
no worries at all!! also i'm so sorry about the unfinished sentence IDK I EVEN DID THERE
[ The mention of another war sobers him a little, if only because it brings to mind what Louis said about multiple wars consuming his world and echoes Fodlan within it, too. Hopefully what she's bound to experience - since he'd caught that implication - is nothing quite like either.
Tea's distracting enough and likely a better conversation topic to focus on all around, even if Claire says not to pay for it. That gets a light smile from him, even as he's considering what to bring from Cadens to share regardless as he's done with Wanda on each of those visits. ]
You're in luck when it comes to the cafes in Nocwich's square. There's several good blends I haven't seen around Cadens and the cafes are rather nice themselves. I'm sure that'll be the case even more so now that the place won't be set up as an infirmary for all of us.
[ That's said as lightly as ever to gloss right on over recent events much like he's been doing consistently here and there, what with a mention and not much else to follow. No need to stress others out over something they'd all rather not think about, or so it goes in his logic even if it might be on the faulty side. The mention of medicine gets another grin from him before he finishes the remaining tea in his cup. ]
I wouldn't mind learning more about what all can be done with the teas here on the medicine side of things if that would be a better trade to make. Botany's become a recent interest of mine when it comes to the healing part of it, and I could bring some of my notes on what's available where I am if you'd like them for your use, too.
I didn't get much of an opportunity to see what's available, and unfortunately, my first time in Nocwich when I arrived, I was still in shock and I'm not sure I processed much. It will be nice to see it as it should be, and without being worried about anything else.
[ Claire's very good with glossing over, and so she does and keeps moving along with him. Especially when he says he'd like to learn. ]
Oh, I would very much enjoy teaching you, if you really would like to learn.
[ Grinning like a nerd, because yes to plants, she can't help but nod at wanting to see his notes. ]
In the time I was living, this was the only way healers could reliably keep track of what worked and what didn't: sharing notes with one another. I learn new things every day from the most unlikely places or people. You never know what might come in useful. Did you know you can use spider webs to pack wounds because they're naturally antiseptic and antifungal, for instance? Because I certainly hadn't until I read through someone else's notes.
That's fair, [ is what he murmurs first in response to being in shock in Nocwich. There'd been much to take in - even before not long ago the square had looked like something else entirely on top of everything about arriving in Abraxas. No need to say as much aloud in his mind since they both know it well, so it's easy to brighten again at her confirmation about teaching.
The same goes for the offer to share notes too, complete with a preview of some information to come that gets a wider grin from him. ]
I hadn't the slightest, no. That's the sort of thing that would've been useful to know on a battlefield when a mage wasn't nearby or while camping, given that spiderwebs can be found just about everywhere. My own healing magic leaves much to be desired, so anything you can teach me to supplement that I'd be grateful for knowing and I'd be happy to trade what I know for it.
[ Which, on another note, also reminds him of something else. ]
Speaking of magic, I'm supposed to be teaching someone I know in Thorne a spell from home on the next weekend in Nocwich. It's the first time of teaching someone not from Fodlan so if we're able to get it to work, I'd be happy to teach it to you, too. We have some textbooks in the monastery that can give you the basics before the practicing part comes into play.
[ Claire has been genuinely enjoying their conversation, but she absolutely lights up at the idea of being taught. ]
You've no idea how eager I am to explore magic more thoroughly now that I have a touch of my own. I feel a bit like a rebel, seeing as how my own world would never believe in the majority of things happening here.
[ Already, she's making a mental list of everything that would be helpful in the event there's ever a surge of injured again. ]
Using modern, herbal, and magical healing should be a trifecta that gets us through most things, I would hope. By all of our abilities combined, perhaps we'll finally have some sort of leg up on disaster.
A touch of your own, meaning something you... have now but you didn't before? [ That's the best way he knows how to summarize those abilities some of them seem to have been granted, himself included with something that feels like it should be adjacent to magic from home but isn't. ] I've heard of others who've had the same happen though I can't say I know much about what or how in particular they seem to be... well, bestowed, for lack of a better word. My only theory is something with the Singularity but that's not much to go on.
[ Which is to say: the theory starts and stops there, but maybe others know more. Maybe Solvunn knows more after all of their deeper ties to the gods of Abraxas have come to light recently. It's something worth looking into, Claude thinks, even if he doesn't quite know where to start.
The mention of using all of those abilities - from home or otherwise - gets another smile from him. It's the sort of enthusiasm (and planning) he appreciates, and that makes it all the easier to nod in agreement. ]
I would say I hope nothing like this happens again, but I've lived through too many strange events even before coming here to have much faith in that. The best we can do is be prepared the best ways we know how and continue working together. Fortunately, it does seem the Summoned all agree on that last point. I'm happy to also share what few spells I can, though if you'd like to learn more in depth ones it'd be worth seeking Sylvain - tall red headed guy usually on a horse if he's roaming around the Horizon - out. He's far more adept at the healing ones than I am.
[ Claire nods and rises even as she's listening to him, and grabs a small starter pot of dirt and a package of seeds. As she's returning, she replies. ]
I don't understand it, or even know quite when it happened. I agree with your theory, though, from what little I know and understand. The Singularity seems to be the one main thing no one seems to be able to tell me anything about.
[ Pushing seeds into the dirt, Claire sets the pot on the table between them, beside her teacup. ] I was outside working in the garden and put my hand down to balance myself as I reached for something. When I looked back, the seed had already sprouted. [ Pressing her fingertips to the soil, it takes about five seconds, but slowly a tiny bud emerges and two leaves pop out with a flourish. ] It stops there, but others seem to think with practice I might be able to do more.
[ She looks excited at the prospect and brushes her fingers off, finding herself yet again nodding to Claude's words. ]
I understand. It unfortunately took my seeing what those events can be to realize magic is an incredible tool. I didn't think it was something teachable, honestly.
[ He means to watch closely as Claire works with the seeds as curiosity gets the better of him - what better than a demonstration? - though he looks up at her occasionally. ]
I think that's partially because no one can agree what the Singularity is. Hell, even the nations can't. I don't agree with the Free Cities' stance on destroying it since that seems like it'd disrupt too much, but maybe they know something we don't. Or maybe the Acolytes know something we don't.
[ Claude's happier not knowing anything about them, specifically, or wherever they're jailed. What's yet to come with the execution being murmured about will only solidify that in his mind, but for now, and where he doesn't know any of that, he leans forward again to watch as the seeds abruptly turn into seedlings. ]
That's fascinating. [ Her excitement is catching, and Claude reaches out to brush one of the leaves with a fingertip tentatively to not damage it accidentally. There's so many possibilities there, and he nods at the mention of practice. ] How you found your ability sounds a lot like how I found mine: by accident. It's not the same but practice did help me refine it after a while, so I'd say this could certainly be the same. You might be able to grow a garden before too long.
[ A grin crosses his face since he's fully teasing, but: ] Unfortunately I can't promise anything quite so thrilling in the way of magic there, but I might also be able to teach you wind spells. They're mostly meant to damage but they could also come in handy on a day when there's warm weather.
[ There's the creeping feeling that if the Singularity is destroyed, they might all be destroyed along with it, or at least the magic will fail and then what? It's better not to think about it now. Instead, she's happy to focus on the magic. ]
Wouldn't that be something? To be able to grow things without worrying over harsh winters or droughts?
[ Her thoughts creep back to the discord among the factions and thinks if there's ever a crisis and food is cut off, this will come in very useful. 'Wind spells' pulls her thought back and she laughs with delight. ]
I'll use that one when I'm toiling away outside on the things I can't make go a bit faster just yet. With the right amount though, that wind could become a tornado, so I see where it might be useful defensively. Honestly, nothing to sneeze at.
[ Her tone is light, too delighted with the turn in their conversation. ]
The things I know aren't magical, but I'm always happy to pass on medical or plant knowledge.
It would. It's difficult not to only think of the hot and dry climate of Cadens and what seems like the rest of the Free Cities, but also where I came from. Being able to stabilize the output from fields in the form of guaranteed crops would make such a difference.
[ Something to consider in terms of his own gardening projects here in Abraxas that'd been placed on hold when it came to the larger, broader goals - though to be able to do it with such ease as Claire's demonstrated seems unlikely without several years of study at an academy... and one likely outside of the Free Cities which seems even less likely. Better to focus on controlling the wind since her enthusiasm is contagious once again. ]
One of the spells I know involves conjuring several small or one large wind blade and I'd imagine it makes a good substitute for harvesting crops without a scythe. Of course, I also used it to help someone jump across a gap in the floor in a collapsing building here, so in the spirit of experimenting there's probably even more yet to use it for.
[ And since she was kind enough to provide a demonstration, it's easy to do the same as Claude lifts a hand for the lesser spell. With the sigils called to mind a light breeze is called forth with only enough strength to lightly rustle the plant's leaves. ]
I didn't know any magic until I attended the academy. I'm not sure I would've ever known it otherwise, and I've heard others say the same about the magic here. That's all the more reason to take advantage of what we can learn from each other since medicine isn't something I would've known without meeting you or Nadine. [ And with a half smile as he lets the spell go to fade into stillness again, ] I think that's a good trade for all of us.
In many parts of the world for me, as well. During and after war typically comes famine. At least up to a certain point in history so far, and even then, still in certain places.
[ Money, gender, location in the world, and more all walk (an unfortunate, awful) a fine line between the haves and havenots.
His creative use of magic makes her chuckle under her breath. ] I won't be leaping across large gaps anytime soon—I should hope—and my joints will thank me for it.
[ Then she pays rapt attention to the use of his magic. Every person she's watched demonstrate their ability has captured her attention, because it's absolutely incredible to her. And the fact that she can learn with focus and study is even more astounding. Magic isn't all about human sacrifice after all. Take that, Geillis Duncan. ]
You certainly give me hope for learning more, then. Even if it's slow going, it's something to work toward. Thank you for showing me some of what you're capable of, I can see with power behind it, that would be a time and energy saver.
[ Claire smiles at the mention of Nadine, and then she's smiling at Claude's words. ]
I agree. It may sound very school-teacher of me, but knowledge is power, truly. Trust someone who traveled back in time and lost two-hundred years' worth of discoveries based on knowledge.
War does terrible things no matter where it lands, and whether one's on the 'winning' side or those who lost even more.
[ Graveness seeps into his tone there since he's in full agreement: what havoc war wreaks upon the lands where it takes place is terrible with so few - if any - exceptions. This isn't lost on him despite being on the victorious side of the one he'd lived through considering there's so much to be done and the former Empire and Kingdom have much rebuilding to do.
It's not something either of them would prefer to dwell on, he's sure, so it's easy enough to shift back to magic and the matter of knowledge. ]
Truthfully, I don't think I want to use magic to jump across anything any time soon either. I'm just glad Steve was up for it since I was happier crawling around the exterior of the building to find a way over and in to where he was.
[ That's another tangent, so with a slight wave of his had as though to brush the thought away he adds, ] And of course. Hilda and Sylvain - someone else from Fodlan - both know other spells that I'm sure they'd be happy to show you, too. None of us were proper mages, or at least I know I wasn't, but whatever we can pass on that'll be useful to someone else is something I feel secure in volunteering them to do. From what I've heard from others who've also traveled back in time in coming here, relatively speaking, it can't replace having what you're familiar with, but hopefully it'll serve as something to help nonetheless.
Any sort of reference point is helpful. I don't know what I thought time travel was, but I have to admit magic didn't cross my mind. Or it did, but it wasn't the word 'magic' that I thought of, then.
[ She shakes her head as if that will make her words more clear. ]
I'm rambling now. I've picked Hilda's brain a bit, and others have been quite gracious with sharing knowledge. Hopefully, by the next time we speak, I'll have a little more confidence surrounding...well. Everything.
[ Claire gives him a warm smile, finishing up her tea and tipping the cup back as she does. ]
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no subject
Is it science? Or is it magic?
[ Both? At his question, her face flickers through a range of emotions. Her face is like glass, it always has been. There's confusion and apprehension, mixed with a wariness that briefly crosses her features before settling on confusion. ]
That's the thing. I've only just met John from my perspective. Just once; he helped my husband escape a likely execution. But after that, we were sailing someplace thousands of miles away from him, so I'm not unsure how we cross paths again.
[ No need to mention that John is in love with her husband and that he's also raising Jamie's son with another woman. Claire doesn't even want to think about it. ]
He had an injury when he arrived [ Caused by Jamie's fist ] that I tended to briefly while I was helping in Nocwich, at the makeshift medical area in the square. We spoke at length, but I've asked him not to tell me anything crucial about myself. Not yet, in any case.
[ Claire pauses to look at Claude. ]
What would you do?
no subject
[ And some other method isn't out of the realm of possibility; given that the Agarthans had so much technology he hadn't seen before, it makes complete sense to him that this was how they had moved in and out of Fodlan as needed.
Claire's expression isn't something he recognizes other than the quick shifts of emotions, and it soon becomes clear why when she reveals more complications than simply a matter of years alone. He listens attentively with brow furrowed slightly. It's only fair to have his question mostly turned back around on him, though he offers Claire a rueful smile. ]
Ah, I have the perspective of being the one from further on in time rather than farther back in it. But if it were me, I wouldn't want to know my future that far out either since there's too much that could happen.
[ He's silent for a moment as he turns his gaze back to Lallybroch to look at it again briefly, thinking of first the decade and then two hundred years, and how time seems to have played some terrible tricks on them both. Maybe Claire's situation is different in that it seems someday she might be willing to hear something of the future. Had he been right in withholding what he knew? ]
Speaking of that perspective. I haven't told Hilda about what happens for much the same reason. It seemed... worse to tell her about it, and to know that if we ever leave here that's what's waiting for her.
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Letting out a soft breath, her eyes finally meet Claude's once more. ]
She has an idea, though? She told me she thinks she's...gone. I don't think she knows any details at all, but she suspects something.
[ This topic feels so close to home that she has to put down her teacup. ]
I thought my husband was dead for twenty years. I was so sure that war claimed him because I knew the history. His entire clan was wiped out, as if they never existed, and I couldn't find his name in records or documents.
[ Even knowing that he was obviously alive, it was such an emotional upheaval in her life, a wound that wouldn't heal, that it reflects in her voice. Clearing her throat, she takes a sip of the tea which she's enjoying. ]
Twenty years, only to find out later that he'd changed his name and gone into hiding. It's as you say—too much could happen. I think it's for the best Hilda doesn't know any specifics.
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He's just turned his gaze back to Claire again when she tells him Hilda has an idea of what's coming. There's just enough time for him to arch an eyebrow curiously and begin to wonder how that's possible when she finishes that thought with something he doesn't expect at all. It's only from years of practice of controlling his expressions to let nothing slip by that saves him from outwardly reacting now when it feels like the ground tilts beneath him from sheer shock.
There's more Claire tells him - important details that he's trying to force himself to absorb as his mind spins. The pain in her voice, however: that seeps through every word into his consciousness. Such a thing needs no explanation when it can be felt that viscerally. ]
Gone? I don't-- [ Wherever that thought was going seems to have no destination when he doesn't have a way to finish it, not even when the obvious conclusion is to say Hilda is alive in his time. He might have if it wasn't for the rest of what Claire's said hits him while he's still mentally floundering. ] Was being apart from him for so long also part of your time traveling?
[ That's something else he can't wrap his mind around - that sense of loss which must have affected her deeply even if he doesn't mean to pry into something so clearly hurtful past the basic understanding. Somehow that's easier to focus on than there being some time where he'd have to exist without Hilda. ]
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It was, I—there was a war in his time and I knew, being from the future, that the final battle would be brutal, and bloody, and over in less than half an hour. I knew that everyone in his clan would be killed and we tried to stop it, but history wouldn't allow it. Jamie couldn't travel to my time. He tried, but it didn't work for him.
[ Even after all this time, even after being reunited with him, it still feels like shredding her soul to think about being ripped away from Jamie. ]
I was pregnant; we'd already lost one child, so...
[ Claire trails off; she hasn't even told Hilda that part, and she surprises herself by saying it now. ]
I'm sorry, Claude. I didn't mean to veer this conversation into something upsetting.
[ She's apologizing for her own sad story but also for potentially devastating him. ]
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All the more reason to give a shake of his head once he's clawed his mind back from reeling and tucked the distress away to examine later, because the last thing he wants is for Claire to feel any guilt about any of this. ]
Please, don't apologize. If there's anything I've learned from being here, it's that many of the Summoned have lived through awful things none of us should have ever had to deal with so for whatever it may be worth, there are others besides us who understand. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to have to go so long without knowing what happened as you did.
[ Not meant to minimize, but to share even if their varieties of grief from their own lives likely all differ in meaningful ways. Claude's quiet for another small stretch of time, again to weigh his words carefully. Not because there's a chance of any of this getting back to Hilda nor because he minds if it does, but because - what's the best way to sum up what he's learned in both what happened in his time and didn't? ]
The war in Fodlan I mentioned. It ended decisively in the Alliance's favor - where Hilda and I are from - as much as war ends in anyone's favor, but since coming here I've learned that isn't always the case. Two others we know, or three if you count someone who was here and then departed, have lived something else with enough similarities that it could overlap but doesn't due to some very distinct differences.
[ There's the simplest way he can put it even if it's no less confusing, but it does bring him closer to the point he's actually trying to make as he offers Claire a subdued smile. ]
The losses were great in what I lived through, and there was always the chance of someone falling on our side just as much as the others. I know of my fate in my timeline and another, but not in the third one. There's just as much chance I'm no longer alive there, either.
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Then being here must be a two-sided coin. It isn't home, but it is time.
[ Time for things that may not be possible outside of Abraxas, time not to take for granted. ]
I spent so much of mine with Jamie trying to stop what was going to happen, and I wish we hadn't, that we'd tried to have at least a year of quiet.
[ There was no avoiding Culloden, and they could have gotten through Jamie's torture and the loss of Faith with more of their souls intact, maybe. ]
You three have something here that seems special and somewhat rare. I hope you never lose sight of it.
[ Claire offers a soft smile, unable to help giving a piece of motherly advice. Trying to break the melancholy, she scoffs. ]
I sounded very much like an old lady then, didn't I?
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Recognition in Claire's words rings true to him of something he's been doing - perhaps in the wrong way of going about it - in trying to prevent something inevitable. It feels a bit like looking into a mirror for a second in that Claude's abruptly aware this had been his goal in not sharing what he knows from his time. As if by not doing so he might prevent - something, but something that'd allow them to have something beyond what history will soon demand.
Her scoff and comment, though: those get a twitch of a smile from him. ]
Well, I don't know about old since I hesitate to call anyone that, but we could go with... knowledgeable. But now that I think about it, I used to call my combat instructor that or some variation when I was a kid and he was lecturing me, so that might be almost the same thing. [ With a grin for good measure since a bit of humor feels warranted here - for both of their sakes. ] I'll have to think of something better and more befitting.
In the meantime, you're correct that what we have here is something rare. All of us have it, that is, [ as though he admittedly doesn't grasp the intricacies of Claire's own time differences, Claude still feels this applies here as well, ] and I hope that no matter what you decide to learn about from your friend that's now here, it also becomes something that's a gift over anything else.
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I suppose you could call me a wise woman. Which still implies old but it sounds better.
[ Her features soften though, wondering how it is someone so young can be so wise. In her experience, it comes from aging too quickly, but she would never assume. ]
Thank you, Claude. I need the reminder just as much as anyone else. Admittedly, I don't know what to think, or if I truly want to know much, but you're right in that it's still a gift to be known.
[ She has the strong urge to hug him, but instead finishes her tea. ]
Did you say the others don't like your favorite tea? Because I find myself enjoying it. There's something about it that's comforting, I can't quite put my finger on it.
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[ With a laugh, since, well: he'd discarded saying it for the exact reasons she'd just said. Also because it might have been one of the other descriptions he'd given said combat instructor in an attempt to rile the man up some more which is far from his goal here.
Time at least is a topic they can tackle another time, whether it's what Claude knows of his own or what Claire has yet to discover for herself and if she even wants to. As she said - Abraxas has given them a gift, in some ways, even if it's also fraught with all kinds of things he'd rather not think about on his end. But there's time to navigate those as well, or so he thinks.
Tea is a much safer topic all around, and a slight smile comes to her face as she inquires about it. ]
I don't know if they don't like it so much as it's not necessarily among their favorites. Mostly floral or fruit teas seem to win most favor there whereas I just find them alright at best, so it's a tradeoff. [ He'd been absently drinking his tea through their conversation without noticing, Claude realizes when he looks down to see his own cup mostly empty. ] I grew up where pine forests are prevalent, so for that reason this tea always reminds me of home. Most of the other ones I grew up drinking weren't quite as elaborate as, say, lavender blends or ones with all kinds of spices.
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I was never a fan of overt florals, but subtly is key when working with them. Fruit as well, although fruit tea is better served over ice, if you've never had it that way. And with no sugar added, there's no reason for that.
[ She'll have to make some, real southern style tea that's been steeped in the sun for hours. ]
Tea is a funny sort of issue in my time. Well, it will be. There's a whole skirmish where one country dumps all its tea in a harbor in protest to the country importing it. But that's a history lesson from a country on a planet you're not even from.
[ Claire laughs and gets back on topic. ]
The one I've made you is less fanciful, but I admit I've gotten a bit blend-happy being in a place where I can.
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[ He'd meant to comment on tea varieties first, but hearing this gets a laugh from him as he tries to picture this happening in Derdriu and the seas abruptly turning into tea or something equally fanciful that brief description brings to mind. ]
I'm happy to report my feelings on any particular tea nor any other country are quite so strong as to demand that, interesting as it sounds. My tastes have always leaned a little more towards the herbal side, I suppose, considering my other favorite tea is chamomile. If she's not already told you, Hilda likes both floral and fruit teas, though.
[ Hopefully a helpful tip for the next time the two women get together, anyway. Claude looks back at his own tea cup then curiously as he remembers the ingredients. ]
This one you've made, however, is quite nice. Should you ever make it in person, I'd love to pick up some you've made on one of the weekends Nocwich is open to us all, and I'm happy to pay for it too since
some of my tags apparently wound up in an au inbox somewhere i'm sorry!
There's quite a lot more that went into it, one country trying to move out from under the thumb of another. And eventually, another war I'll see.
[ She still smiles, but it's a sort of resigned one, tired around the edges and laced with frustration. Now that John's arrived she knows: another war Jamie will have to fight, for nearly identical reasons he fought against the Redcoats before. Except this time he'll have to fight with them, if they want to keep their land. What a fucking mess; it's easier to talk about tea in the harbor. ]
I believe herbal teas are certainly the most calming and what I drink the most. They're easy to administer medicine through, especially with enough honey if someone needs it. Plus, the honey is helpful in bringing down inflammation, so it doubles as a good thing.
[ His compliment is more appreciated than he thinks; she doesn't always need to make rounds for medical things, and it's how she's used to helping. If she can create something else that others enjoy then it might feel even more like home, here. She doesn't pause to think about whether or not she should be inviting that feeling. Claire does wave him off about paying, though. ]
You'll keep your money and anything worth trading, and I'll be sure to have something for you when Nocwich opens. We can meet and perhaps try someone else's tea-making abilities at one of the cafes.
no worries at all!! also i'm so sorry about the unfinished sentence IDK I EVEN DID THERE
Tea's distracting enough and likely a better conversation topic to focus on all around, even if Claire says not to pay for it. That gets a light smile from him, even as he's considering what to bring from Cadens to share regardless as he's done with Wanda on each of those visits. ]
You're in luck when it comes to the cafes in Nocwich's square. There's several good blends I haven't seen around Cadens and the cafes are rather nice themselves. I'm sure that'll be the case even more so now that the place won't be set up as an infirmary for all of us.
[ That's said as lightly as ever to gloss right on over recent events much like he's been doing consistently here and there, what with a mention and not much else to follow. No need to stress others out over something they'd all rather not think about, or so it goes in his logic even if it might be on the faulty side. The mention of medicine gets another grin from him before he finishes the remaining tea in his cup. ]
I wouldn't mind learning more about what all can be done with the teas here on the medicine side of things if that would be a better trade to make. Botany's become a recent interest of mine when it comes to the healing part of it, and I could bring some of my notes on what's available where I am if you'd like them for your use, too.
fkaljfdlf IT HAPPENS!
[ Claire's very good with glossing over, and so she does and keeps moving along with him. Especially when he says he'd like to learn. ]
Oh, I would very much enjoy teaching you, if you really would like to learn.
[ Grinning like a nerd, because yes to plants, she can't help but nod at wanting to see his notes. ]
In the time I was living, this was the only way healers could reliably keep track of what worked and what didn't: sharing notes with one another. I learn new things every day from the most unlikely places or people. You never know what might come in useful. Did you know you can use spider webs to pack wounds because they're naturally antiseptic and antifungal, for instance? Because I certainly hadn't until I read through someone else's notes.
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The same goes for the offer to share notes too, complete with a preview of some information to come that gets a wider grin from him. ]
I hadn't the slightest, no. That's the sort of thing that would've been useful to know on a battlefield when a mage wasn't nearby or while camping, given that spiderwebs can be found just about everywhere. My own healing magic leaves much to be desired, so anything you can teach me to supplement that I'd be grateful for knowing and I'd be happy to trade what I know for it.
[ Which, on another note, also reminds him of something else. ]
Speaking of magic, I'm supposed to be teaching someone I know in Thorne a spell from home on the next weekend in Nocwich. It's the first time of teaching someone not from Fodlan so if we're able to get it to work, I'd be happy to teach it to you, too. We have some textbooks in the monastery that can give you the basics before the practicing part comes into play.
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You've no idea how eager I am to explore magic more thoroughly now that I have a touch of my own. I feel a bit like a rebel, seeing as how my own world would never believe in the majority of things happening here.
[ Already, she's making a mental list of everything that would be helpful in the event there's ever a surge of injured again. ]
Using modern, herbal, and magical healing should be a trifecta that gets us through most things, I would hope. By all of our abilities combined, perhaps we'll finally have some sort of leg up on disaster.
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[ Which is to say: the theory starts and stops there, but maybe others know more. Maybe Solvunn knows more after all of their deeper ties to the gods of Abraxas have come to light recently. It's something worth looking into, Claude thinks, even if he doesn't quite know where to start.
The mention of using all of those abilities - from home or otherwise - gets another smile from him. It's the sort of enthusiasm (and planning) he appreciates, and that makes it all the easier to nod in agreement. ]
I would say I hope nothing like this happens again, but I've lived through too many strange events even before coming here to have much faith in that. The best we can do is be prepared the best ways we know how and continue working together. Fortunately, it does seem the Summoned all agree on that last point. I'm happy to also share what few spells I can, though if you'd like to learn more in depth ones it'd be worth seeking Sylvain - tall red headed guy usually on a horse if he's roaming around the Horizon - out. He's far more adept at the healing ones than I am.
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I don't understand it, or even know quite when it happened. I agree with your theory, though, from what little I know and understand. The Singularity seems to be the one main thing no one seems to be able to tell me anything about.
[ Pushing seeds into the dirt, Claire sets the pot on the table between them, beside her teacup. ] I was outside working in the garden and put my hand down to balance myself as I reached for something. When I looked back, the seed had already sprouted. [ Pressing her fingertips to the soil, it takes about five seconds, but slowly a tiny bud emerges and two leaves pop out with a flourish. ] It stops there, but others seem to think with practice I might be able to do more.
[ She looks excited at the prospect and brushes her fingers off, finding herself yet again nodding to Claude's words. ]
I understand. It unfortunately took my seeing what those events can be to realize magic is an incredible tool. I didn't think it was something teachable, honestly.
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I think that's partially because no one can agree what the Singularity is. Hell, even the nations can't. I don't agree with the Free Cities' stance on destroying it since that seems like it'd disrupt too much, but maybe they know something we don't. Or maybe the Acolytes know something we don't.
[ Claude's happier not knowing anything about them, specifically, or wherever they're jailed. What's yet to come with the execution being murmured about will only solidify that in his mind, but for now, and where he doesn't know any of that, he leans forward again to watch as the seeds abruptly turn into seedlings. ]
That's fascinating. [ Her excitement is catching, and Claude reaches out to brush one of the leaves with a fingertip tentatively to not damage it accidentally. There's so many possibilities there, and he nods at the mention of practice. ] How you found your ability sounds a lot like how I found mine: by accident. It's not the same but practice did help me refine it after a while, so I'd say this could certainly be the same. You might be able to grow a garden before too long.
[ A grin crosses his face since he's fully teasing, but: ] Unfortunately I can't promise anything quite so thrilling in the way of magic there, but I might also be able to teach you wind spells. They're mostly meant to damage but they could also come in handy on a day when there's warm weather.
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Wouldn't that be something? To be able to grow things without worrying over harsh winters or droughts?
[ Her thoughts creep back to the discord among the factions and thinks if there's ever a crisis and food is cut off, this will come in very useful. 'Wind spells' pulls her thought back and she laughs with delight. ]
I'll use that one when I'm toiling away outside on the things I can't make go a bit faster just yet. With the right amount though, that wind could become a tornado, so I see where it might be useful defensively. Honestly, nothing to sneeze at.
[ Her tone is light, too delighted with the turn in their conversation. ]
The things I know aren't magical, but I'm always happy to pass on medical or plant knowledge.
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[ Something to consider in terms of his own gardening projects here in Abraxas that'd been placed on hold when it came to the larger, broader goals - though to be able to do it with such ease as Claire's demonstrated seems unlikely without several years of study at an academy... and one likely outside of the Free Cities which seems even less likely. Better to focus on controlling the wind since her enthusiasm is contagious once again. ]
One of the spells I know involves conjuring several small or one large wind blade and I'd imagine it makes a good substitute for harvesting crops without a scythe. Of course, I also used it to help someone jump across a gap in the floor in a collapsing building here, so in the spirit of experimenting there's probably even more yet to use it for.
[ And since she was kind enough to provide a demonstration, it's easy to do the same as Claude lifts a hand for the lesser spell. With the sigils called to mind a light breeze is called forth with only enough strength to lightly rustle the plant's leaves. ]
I didn't know any magic until I attended the academy. I'm not sure I would've ever known it otherwise, and I've heard others say the same about the magic here. That's all the more reason to take advantage of what we can learn from each other since medicine isn't something I would've known without meeting you or Nadine. [ And with a half smile as he lets the spell go to fade into stillness again, ] I think that's a good trade for all of us.
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[ Money, gender, location in the world, and more all walk (an unfortunate, awful) a fine line between the haves and havenots.
His creative use of magic makes her chuckle under her breath. ] I won't be leaping across large gaps anytime soon—I should hope—and my joints will thank me for it.
[ Then she pays rapt attention to the use of his magic. Every person she's watched demonstrate their ability has captured her attention, because it's absolutely incredible to her. And the fact that she can learn with focus and study is even more astounding. Magic isn't all about human sacrifice after all. Take that, Geillis Duncan. ]
You certainly give me hope for learning more, then. Even if it's slow going, it's something to work toward. Thank you for showing me some of what you're capable of, I can see with power behind it, that would be a time and energy saver.
[ Claire smiles at the mention of Nadine, and then she's smiling at Claude's words. ]
I agree. It may sound very school-teacher of me, but knowledge is power, truly. Trust someone who traveled back in time and lost two-hundred years' worth of discoveries based on knowledge.
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[ Graveness seeps into his tone there since he's in full agreement: what havoc war wreaks upon the lands where it takes place is terrible with so few - if any - exceptions. This isn't lost on him despite being on the victorious side of the one he'd lived through considering there's so much to be done and the former Empire and Kingdom have much rebuilding to do.
It's not something either of them would prefer to dwell on, he's sure, so it's easy enough to shift back to magic and the matter of knowledge. ]
Truthfully, I don't think I want to use magic to jump across anything any time soon either. I'm just glad Steve was up for it since I was happier crawling around the exterior of the building to find a way over and in to where he was.
[ That's another tangent, so with a slight wave of his had as though to brush the thought away he adds, ] And of course. Hilda and Sylvain - someone else from Fodlan - both know other spells that I'm sure they'd be happy to show you, too. None of us were proper mages, or at least I know I wasn't, but whatever we can pass on that'll be useful to someone else is something I feel secure in volunteering them to do. From what I've heard from others who've also traveled back in time in coming here, relatively speaking, it can't replace having what you're familiar with, but hopefully it'll serve as something to help nonetheless.
a wrap up soon, perhaps?
[ She shakes her head as if that will make her words more clear. ]
I'm rambling now. I've picked Hilda's brain a bit, and others have been quite gracious with sharing knowledge. Hopefully, by the next time we speak, I'll have a little more confidence surrounding...well. Everything.
[ Claire gives him a warm smile, finishing up her tea and tipping the cup back as she does. ]
absolutely, it's a wrap!