abraxaslogs | april catch-all

[No matter how much he'd like the Winking Cauldron to be his refuge as it has always been, Kell feels there as restless as anywhere else. With the grey of the dusk slowly creeping in, dimming the light, he gets more twitchy with every passing minute. He wanted to leave earlier so he'd be back in the castle before it gets dark; hates needing to ask someone to come pick him up. That didn't really work out, and now, as the shadows grow outside, Kell feels his unease steadily rising.

He discovered his reaction soon after returning, stayed late in the Cauldron that day. Mildred was already gone. It was night already. All he had to do was to close the shop and get back to the castle. Easy. Routine even. One step outside the door. This was how much he was able to make, before he froze in inexplicable terror. There was no real reason for it. It was night, yes, but there were still plenty people out there. And yet, with his throat parched, his heart racing, he couldn't make a single step outside the circle of light cast from the door into the street. He had to wait until Rhy came looking for him, worried out of his mind.

Kell almost jumps when the door open, but his distress vanishes immediately when he recognizes the man coming in. After his avalanche accident, Kyle became the person Kell feels safest with. Almost like himself again. It's weird, and Kell would prefer to just calm down already. He's sure it must be pretty annoying, he feels half-guilty half-irritated about it, but can't really help himself. The only time when he is not on the edge, is in Kyle's company. Is it really that odd that he seeks the calm it brings him? Besides, he really likes the man. Had liked even before the whole Acolytes nightmare. Before Kyle saved his life. Twice. Three times, if they were to count the smith lady. Though this particular memory feels as if belonged to a completely different person.

Mildred peeks out of the back, waves to Kyle, and almost kicks Kell out. He has no choice but to step outside into the falling darkness. But now it's fine. He's even able to turn his back to the dark, empty alley to ask.]

Where are we going?

[ Kell, Wilhelm, Jack. Kahlil has taken to keeping an eye on a handful of other Summoned after their return to the castle. Everyone is reacting to their trauma differently. Some, like Istredd, seem to have a bit of trouble leaving the castle. And then there's Kell, who at a glance seems fine and back to his semi-normal routine, until you look a bit closer. Kahlil sees it on Kell's face when he enters the shop, the flicker-shift of reactions as he composes himself, but he doesn't let it reflect in his own expression.

(focusing on everyone else's trauma leaves little room for him to think on his own, a boon to him)

He waves back to Mildred and gives her a wink before following Kell out into the dark. One hand clasps the younger man's shoulders as he points down the next street, the magically-powered lamplights beginning to flicker on, one by one as the sun continues to set. ]

Drinks and, possibly, questionable music.

[ The Mute Lute's in the direction he's motioning, a fairly popular working class tavern known for its entertainment. Many budding musicians considering it a proving ground of sorts. Kahlil has been there a handful of times, the proprietor is a no nonsense woman and her very, very imposing wife. Women married to each other and so open about it had a hand in helping him become more comfortable, it reminded him of John's city in Nayeshi.

In any case, it'll be loud, crowded and well lit inside. ]

C'mon. [ Jerking his chin with a grin, he doesn't really give Kell a choice this time before he starts walking. ]

I wouldn't mind a few drinks.

[As long as it ends on a few, which is not very often these days. Kell follows Kyle's gesture, all lights realizing which place Kyle has in mind. He always had a weakness for the less ... prestigious establishments. If not down right seedy. His Horizon domain features a replica of such a place. So it's no surprise he instantly felt at home in The Muted Lute.
That is it so close is another advantage. There won't be a lot of walking, so less chances for Kell to start the evening as a shivering mess because a sudden sound startled him.]

Questionable is a very charitable description.

[Kell rolls his eyes in mock disapproval, but follows Kyle without hesitation. He's lot less on edge now that he has company and it shows. Any other time the sounds, the bright lights and the crowd would irritate him. Now, they serve as a perfect damper on his overactive imagination drowning out the images of horror that threaten to surface from his memories whenever he's not careful.]

[ Kahlil's grin only widens at that as he leads the way, now that the weather is warming up and the sun is setting later there's more people on the street going about their end of day business. Kahlil stays close to Kell's side, never quite touching but always within reach - and within his line of sight.

They can hear the tavern before they even see the broken lute above the door. It's reasonably packed tonight, it seems, with the early crowd booing some poor young man out of the building. Hopefully he has a good day job.

Inside, Kahlil leads the way to the bar, letting Kell order first (it's mead or beer -
a wine or two on a good week for extra coin, no one's here for the huge selection). There's nowhere to sit at first anyway, so they're stuck standing for now as the next entertainer takes her place: a short young woman with a fiddle. She's not bad, the song she plays is quick and easy to dance to, which the younger crowd is eager to get in on.

He leans back against the bar and watches her, tilting his head at Kell with a smile again. ]

Our ears are safe for at least one set.

[Kell is deeply grateful that Kyle keeps close the whole way to the tavern. With enough of respectful distance, but always within reach. Though he realizes, not without some surprised confusion, that he'd rather like this distance to be less respectful. It's new for him to have such wants. Not all-consuming obsessions, just quiet almost shy voices in his head saying I think I'd like that. It's so delicate he fears to concentrate on this thought too long lest it disappears under too much scrutiny. He wouldn't want that. Not for a thing that is uniquely, indisputably his. He has so few such things.

The fear though, that fear of empty dark alleys? That he'd rather prefer go away. He knows it is irrational. There's no valid reason for him to feel the deep-seated dread whenever he steps outside after dark. Not anymore. Whatever happened to him, happened at a w very specific place, under specific circumstances. The people who did this will be dealt with one way or the other. Yet, in his mind, this has extended to all streets at all time, as long as it's dark. He hates being so compromised.

So he's glad when they enter the tavern and it's well-lit and crowded. He follows Kyle closely to the bar, orders beer when it's his turn. At a Thornean mingle or any time he goes out with Rhy, he might have picked wine, but in a place like this? No. This kind of establishment calls for beer. It reminds him of the absolutely atrocious ale he'd used to drink in the Grey London's version of his favorite inn. Dingy little hole in a down-trodden areas of a sad city. The Muted Lute has more life to it, more color, the people here are happier, but the atmosphere is similar. It's a good memory, not that distant, and yet it feels like something that happened ages ago. In another life. To another person.

Once his beer arrives, Kell takes a long sip. Yes, this is better. The beer here is fine, the music is... acceptable, and the company? Kell looks at Kyle and smiles back at him. The company is excellent. He laughs at Kyle's comment. Some people find the music enjoyable, the musician definitely does.]

It's not bad. I'd even say it's pretty catchy.

[He can't be all that aloof and critical when he's unwittingly tapping his foot the rhythm. Very catchy indeed.]

[ Watching Kell, Kahlil decides to nurse his own beer. The younger man should enjoy himself if he wants, and Kahlil can be the "designated driver" if necessary tonight.

His grin widens a bit when Kell smiles at him, and he turns his attention to the crowd again. The fiddler is playing what he recognizes as a popular, local song and someone else has gathered the courage to join her on stage, a stocky young man with a deep, pleasing voice who supplies the lyrics as the woman plays. Maybe they are partners and he's the shy one, or maybe they're two random strangers. Either way, after a minute they've got the crowd on their feet: some clapping and jumping to the rhythm, some whirling around the stage with a partner. ]

Do you dance? [ he calls over the noise, raising an eyebrow as he notes Kell's tapping foot. He wouldn't want for a partner here, there's quite a few young men and women eyeing him, though none brave enough or encouraged to approach just yet. ]

[Kell's first impulse is to say no. Like he always does. He has noticed, it was hard not to, the look he is getting, and started to mentally steel himself to refuse anyone who'd muster to courage to come and actually ask him. He's not going to get dragged to the dance floor by some random strangers. It's already bad when Rhy does it. With him, Kell has no way of escape, because Rhy can always get his way with him, is well aware of that fact and exploits it shamelessly.

It's not like Kell is enemy of fun, or that hates dancing in principle. He will grumble and protest at Rhy's whims, but he's never fundamentally opposed. Besides, if he really did not want, Rhy would never try to force him. Saints, he's having fun right now. It's just... he doesn't really know what it is...

Like he doesn't know where the urge to say yes now comes from. He only knows it's different when Kyle asks. Maybe because Kell already knows him, already feels safe in his company. Maybe because the way he asks sounds less like an expectation, but more like an invitation. Open and free, with no judgement attached should he say no. Or maybe it only matters that it is Kyle asking.

Kell drinks the rest of his beer in one swig, moves to bring his empty tankard to the barkeep, then returns to Kyle.]

I do.

[He replies with clear enthusiasm, for once feeling not irritated, but cautiously excited at the prospect. The alcohol no doubt helps, but it's not the main cause of the pleasant heat that brings color to his usually ghastly pale skin.]

Edited (fixed formatting) 2023-04-19 09:24 (UTC)

[ The answer surprises him a little, there's a flutter of that across his expression before its smoothed out by a grin. Kahlil won't question his motivations - he's happy to oblige this side of Kell. The younger man often comes across as introverted and serious - especially compared to his brother's easy charisma, but he's seen hints of a lighter side before. ]

Good - I'm terribly out of practice.

[ The mischievous look he gives implies that's probably not strictly true. Dancing wasn't something the priests taught in Rathal'pesha, he's done more of it in the months he's spent here than the decades he lived back in Basawar and then Earth. It's not so different from fighting forms though, and he's a quick study.

The pair of musicians keep the tempo fast, the dancers on the floor less concerned with specific steps than matching their movements to the pace without falling over each other - the kind of dancing closer to what you'd find at a rural festival than the court of Thorne. Once in the middle of them Kahlil hooks an arm around Kell's at the elbows, leading in a circle. Kahlil is quick and light on his feet. ]

[Kell is serious, overly so, most of the time. Usually, because he doesn't let himself be anything else. There are occasions, tiny blips in his overall experience that he lets his inner gremlin surface. Because, adopted yes, but he is Rhy's brother, and sometimes, very rarely, it does show in most unexpected places. It wasn't always Rhy getting them both in trouble.]

Good thing then that I'm not.

[The grin he flashes at Kyle in response is equally mischievous. Yet, it quickly turns out he might have been overconfident in his bold declaration. Kell likes to think he's good at dancing. It's not his favorite thing, he doesn't have effortless grace of his brother, but he is at the very least competent.

In typical court dancing. This is nothing like it.

It's fast, lively, and there's way too much stomping and too many people involved. It requires the one thing he's really not good at. Letting go and just going with the feeling. Fortunately, Kyle is good lead, and Kell finds it easy to follow and do what he does. When he's over his initial panic, that is.
When he does though, he realizes, much to his own surprise, that all this fast-paced jumping and stomping, it's fun. More fun that he thought it would be. Definitely more than court dancing.]

[ Kahlil is an extrovert hiding beneath the well worn mask of an introvert. It's been his job to fade into the shadows and observe, to be careful not to stand out. None of that changed when he arrived in Abraxas, and many in Thorne mistake him for his mask. Here, Kell gets to see a little of what his brother does: the easy smiles and laughter, the quiet energy the exudes from him and enjoyment as the nearby dancers flit in and out of their space. When the first song ends and the crowd starts up in cheers and crowing, Kyle is just as loud as any of them.

But all the while he's sure to keep most of his attention on Kell, making sure that he's enjoying himself and not getting too overwhelmed by the crowding bodies or the noise. As the next song ends and the musicians transition to something a little slower, Kahlil glances at Kell with his hand out, head cocked. ]

One more to wind down, then another drink?

[ Water, probably. ]

[Kell is an honest to heaven introvert. All this is already too much for him. Too loud, too many people, too close in too tight a space. By the time the song ends he looks around dazed, eyes wide, in full overwhelm. But he's also grinning like an idiot. This is awesome! He's always been drawn to people of boundless energy. He can keep up with Rhy, that's already telling. Lila was a like a bag of feral cats in human form, impossible to tame, and he has fallen for her hopelessly, head over heels, in an instant. He still misses her. Awfully.

So when he looks at Kyle now, it's in genuine awe. Kell feels insanely privileged to be able to see this side of him. It's beautiful, all joy and light, no shadows. He doesn't mind if the price for such sight is some overwhelm for him. A lot of overwhelm. Doesn't matter. He can hole up by himself to recover later, but right now he's too happy he can bask in the glow to care about such pesky details.

So when Kyle extends his hand to him, proposing another round, Kell accepts the invitation within a heartbeat. All beaming as he does it.]

I think I could do another one of each.

[He'd rather like to have a second beer.]

[ Kahlil lets out a soft laugh, and with that encouragement he pulls Kell in to dance to the slower tune. The singer does most of the work on this one, and again it seems like a familiar song to those Thorneans in attendance. Some couples are dancing close: men and women, women and women, men and men.

Kahlil leads at first, keeping a enough space between them to keep this friendly - there's a line he doesn't want to cross with Kell being Rhy's brother. Complicated entanglements - the idea of multiple lovers is new and foreign to him, it'd been over a decade since he'd last been with someone, and a few months here before he was able to allow himself to enjoy something even casual with Rhy. Maybe if it were ten years younger he'd have more energy for more. ]

[Kell likes the slower pace of the song. It lets his pulse slow down, his breathing even. Makes him more aware of his surroundings. And of Kyle. The distance between him lets Kell keep his mind clearer, stops him from acting on impulse. That's a good thing. So used to overthinking everything always, he has an unsteady grip on his spontaneity whenever he gets to loosen up a bit. It's so shaky, it could all easily go too fast too far.

Saints know, he needs not further complications in his life. Definitely not coming from his burning need for at least some measure of safety and security usurping any conscious choice about a connection he'd like to have with the other person. He wants to have a genuine one with Kyle. Not only because the man saved his life, but all the other reasons. Like Kyle being the only other person Kell knows with world hoping powers, a calm and soothing presence. He doesn't want to ruin all that.]

[ This song ends eventually too, and as the crowd applauds again it seems there's a break for the musicians, or maybe someone else's turn to summon the courage to face the crowd. For now, though, there's a break. With another warm smile Kahlil clasps a hand on Kell's shoulder, leading him back to the bartender before the rest of the dancers start crowding it. He orders another round of beer for them, and two glasses of water. ]

Let's find a table upstairs. [ He nods to the staircase that leads to the second floor, where the small tables overlook the stage. Kell can grab two glass and he'll grab the other two. ]

[When the song inevitably ends and the pair of musicians leaves the stage Kell feels a little disappointed. He wasn't expecting much so those two surprised him. Dancing to a slower song didn't feel like he can't keep up. It felt good... right.

But Kyle is smiling at him so Kell can't be cranky for too long. He did say he'd like another beer, so he's glad he's getting one. And a glass of water. He should probably drink more water if he wants to keep his head clear. Well, clearer. He's already not entirely sober. Even that little booze can get to you if you drink it as fast as he did. And it's hot and crowded inside. So the temperature contributes too.
Kyle is right, they should probably sit down for a while.]

Alright.

[Kell grabs two glasses and follows Kyle upstairs. Carefully sets them down on a table when Kyle finds them a free one. It's a tiny one at the far corner. Less noisy, but with no view of the stage. Kell sits down and smiles at Kyle above the four glasses that almost fill the small table. The whole set up feels a little precarious, but he doesn't mind. He has the best view here.]

I didn't know this place has a second floor.

[ Just don't accidentally kick the table and it should all be fine. ]

No?

[ He cocks his head to the side. There's a third floor too, with a handful of rooms that the proprietors also own and rent. Kahlil has never had a reason to go up there though, and doesn't expect to tonight - as handsome as his current partner is, unfortunately.

It's easy enough to spot a couple precariously weaving their way up that way. ]

It does seem a little irresponsible in a place that serves alcohol to have so many stairs...

[ With a grin it's clear he's teasing. But it's nice up here. The servers have all the windows open at this level, dispersing the heat and humidity that gathers around the lower floor when it's too crowded. ]

[He will try not to. Promise.]

I really didn't.

[It's true. Not the second, and definitely not the third. Kell has been to Muted Lute a couple of times. Never had the thought to just look up crossed his mind. He can be surprisingly oblivious to his surroundings if he's not actively paying attention. Which he currently does. So he's easily drawn to the sight a couple climbing the steep stairs to the third floor. He catches himself watching them with envy, idly musing how it would have been nice to follow the same route with his current company. Then promptly kicks the thought deep into the dark for being completely irresponsible. You're having a conversation here, don't get distracted.

Kell returns his attention back to Kyle. It's already drawn there naturally so all he has to do is to change focus. The gentle tease gets Kyle a chuckle in reply. Yes, the stairs might be a problem, especially after a few rounds of something stronger.]

I guess installing portals between floors could have been too expensive for a place like this, but I see where the issue might be.

[Because that's his solution to everything: magic.]

[ He chuckles at that, taking another drink of water. The couple manage to stumble up to the third floor and out of sight without any accidents, thankfully.

The music from below starts back up again, another string instrument and singer. Not as charismatic sounding as the last pair, though, and he doesn't feel like he's missing all too much without a view. ]

How're things at the tea shop? Any more problem clients?

[ He smiles wryly at this too, thinking of the unexpected encounter with the lady blacksmith. ]

Contrary to Kyle, Kell is not wise, more than happy to chug on his beer first and leave water for later.

"Saints, no! I am still to murder Mildred for that first one." Kell rolls his eyes and laughs. "Thankfully, we have no more crazy aunties that call their wives husband."

It doesn't even register in his mind as odd that they are married. It's only how the call each other that's weird. Must be an injoke of some sort that Kell has not figured out yet. He visited the ladies many times since.

"And they're no longer problem clients. If you disregard blatant attempts at adopting me, but that's something I can live with that. They're harmless."

Kell is still bummed about being treated like a child, but overall he has to admit he started looking up to those deliveries. He sometimes even picks up things for them from the other shops on his way. It's not like Torygg can get very far on her own.

"I wonder if Viktor could make her a better wheelchair. One that doesn't needs re-enchanting all the time."

Then there would be small issue of transporting the thing from Free Cities to Thorne. But maybe if he just made plans? Hm.

Adopting...

[ He shakes his head, chuckling again as he imagines an adult Kell like a schoolboy between the two women. ]

It would have to collapse to fit inside a pocket, I think.

[ He raises an eyebrow, having the same thought. He's not sure they can as easily bring something like that through the Nocwich portal as some of the other items traded in the neutrality zone.

He notes too how casually Kell mentions Victor. ]

He's a friend?

I'm serious. I suspect they tried it on Mildred first. That's why she didn't tell a word. She wanted someone else to share in the embarrassment with her.

[Kell grins over his beer. He might be emptying his glass a bit too fast, but hey they're here to have fun and alcohol helps push away the dark thoughts that plague him most of his days, and all nights. Furrows his brows when Kyle points out the flaw in his plan.]

You're right. This could be difficult. I mean, Viktor is a genius, but to make a full person sized wheelchair that can be folded to fit in a pocket might be a challenge even for him. I should just ask him for plans. Torygg is a smith, she might be able to make one on her own, as long as she has right schematics.

[It's telling how Kell doesn't even entertain a possibility something could be impossible for Viktor to figure out. Kell adamantly believes Viktor would be able to pull anything off. Only it could take more time. He's so used to the fact that everyone knows Jayce and Viktor that Kyle's question surprises him, and has enough alcohol in his blood to be more open about his thoughts and feelings than he's ever when sober.]

Oh yes! A good friend. He's Jayce's partner. They're both from Free Cities. Do you know Jayce?

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