[closed] when my depression works the graveyard shift

[ordinar]

WHO: Wilhelm & pals
WHAT: Catchall for PTSD spring
WHERE: Thorne
WHEN: throughout April and May
WARNINGS: will be updated as needed

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[ordinar]

Jesper says the right person, and Wilhelm's thoughts turn back to a prince with golden eyes and a kind heart. He crumples up that fantasy before it can get too far. He's not here to talk about his own love life, which exists only in these in-between places. Friends-but-more, lovers-but-less. Fooling around with two boys but having none. He's here to support Jesper while he carries all these hard, heavy feelings, as Jesper has done for him.

"It's hard. Loving someone, and knowing they love you too, but...for whatever reason, it still doesn't line up."

He'd been there with Simon.

Trying out the optimism he associates with Jesper, he continues, "Maybe things will change, and someday you'll line up again."

Wilhelm reaches over to squeeze his hand in reassurance. The touch is brief, as he has to take the stick shift again to change gears through a turn, but he hopes it conveys his feelings. Really, for all that Jesper calls him sweet, he has a heart like sunshine, all golden and warm and beaming everywhere. Wilhelm doesn't know if he would be able to let go of someone he loves so gracefully — he would have to be pried from his grip.

[itookashot]

"Maybe they will, I'm letting him think it over. Wylan's smart and methodical, he won't agree to it unless he's positive he can handle it." Which is good because it would obviously be difficult for them to think they can do it and then be hung up instead. Wylan's all in or he's not, and that is why Jesper knows giving him time is the best way.

"We're still friends regardless. And he knows he'll always have me that way." Jesper feels confident about that. Wylan knows he has his loyalty and his affection so on that front they seem to be doing well. And he's been doing okay staying with Kaz and trying to figure out his life. The friendship is not in any danger.

He smiles at the hand squeeze and he reaches out to run his long fingers through Wilhelm's hair. "You're a good listener, Wille." Jesper doesn't often take advantage of other people listening to him, he generally prefers to be that support for others. And this is his first time really talking it through. He leans over to kiss his cheek.

"I am very tempted to get us Horizon killed right now," he murmurs into his ear. "Your lap is just so inviting." Can he take a quick turn himself? Absolutely.

[ordinar]

Well, they veered from joking about road head to having a heartfelt conversation, so it only makes sense that they would swerve right back. Playfully, Wilhelm pushes at Jesper's chest to keep him corralled in the passenger seat.

"If you give me, like, two minutes, I can just park the car, idiot." That's a pet name, for the record, the way he says it. Then his smile softens. "You know I'm here for you, Jes."

He isn't sure where their temporary road has led them, but they're in a forest. No buildings in sight — the trees even block out the familiar silhouettes of the Horizon's grander structures, which stand against the sky. Slowing down, he pulls in closer to the trees and creeps and jerks to a stop. Puts it in park, kills the engine. Leaves the keys in the ignition. Even as he clicks off his seatbelt, the road sinks back into the ground and the trees crowd more densely around them in answer to his unspoken wish for privacy.

It takes some maneuvering and some cussing, but soon Wilhelm has wriggled into Jesper's lap. He runs his hands down his chest, touch light like a whisper and heavy like honey. He rests their foreheads together.

"Let me take care of you," he murmurs.

[itookashot]

Jesper has been called an idiot many, many times, and a good portion of them are in this exact same tone. Affectionately. Because he can be an idiot (affectionate). He just grins at Wilhelm a little wolfishly since he knows exactly what that means. He likes when they talk and enjoy each other's company, sex is never a requirement for their good times, but he'll always take it when it's offered.

He doesn't know which one of them kind of requested the Horizon mask them, it was probably both. Jesper was certainly thinking it once they parked and he thought it wouldn't be that difficult to be subtle here. His continuous desire for semi-public sex never ends, the implication of maybe getting caught, while not.

Jesper laughs quietly when Wilhelm moves a little clunkily onto his lap and he cups his face in his hands. "You can make more space in here when you want, darling." Although there is something fun about this being more awkward and needing to maneuver, it feels more realistic. He has done a lot of unrealistic sex in the Horizon at this point though.

He pulls Wilhelm down for a deep kiss, parting his sweet lips, getting a taste of him on his tongue. He slides his long fingers through Wilhelm's lovely hair. "Who am I to argue with such an enticing offer?" Jesper's smirking as they come out of the kiss and he digs into Wilhelm's shirt, pulling it up. "I want this off though. Want to touch your skin."

He is so soft and smooth and Jesper loves being tactile.

[ordinar]

The thought of getting caught in the act still sends a pulse of dread through Wilhelm, but in the deep shade of the trees, with no road leading to them, he feels safe enough. Jesper is good at distracting him from any feeling that isn't want and warmth. When he's around, desire feels like a thing curled up under Wilhelm's skin, waking and stretching and ready to pounce when the time is right. And Jesper definitely poked it awake with that teasing in his ear earlier.

He sinks into the kiss, parting his lips for Jesper, not waiting but chasing. Plucking the stolen sunglasses off of his face, he chucks them blindly into the abandoned driver's seat. His fingers dance along Jesper's jaw, down his neck and into the collar of his shirt. All of this is familiar by now, but it's not routine — it's exciting, like going back somewhere you remember having a good time at once.

"I have all the space I need," Wilhelm insists when they come up for air. As if to make a point, he reaches down for the little lever at the base of the seat. Pulling it, he pushes at Jesper's shoulder so that the seat lies open at a slightly wider angle. A little rough, but he knows Jesper doesn't mind.

As he tugs his shirt off, he treats Jesper to a little show by arching his back, inviting him to touch anywhere he wants. He feels more confident under the other boy's gaze after so much time spent naked together. Well, and there's a little more to show off after half a year of early mornings with Kyle. Still soft and smooth, but with more distinct ridges of muscle underneath.

[itookashot]

It is funny sometimes to think about where they started and where they are now. Time has a way of changing people, but so do good relationships, and the Wilhelm so boldly hiding them away in the Horizon to have sex is different from the shy and uncertain boy he seduced on Kaz's bed. Jesper likes to think he had something to do with that, and he's glad. Wilhelm is a beautiful soul who carried too much on him, and Jesper has always been about taking the weight off other people.

He doesn't know cars so he doesn't expect the lever and laughs when he is pushed back. Rough is far from a problem for him and Jesper comfortably stretches out on the seat beneath Wilhelm. He watches him with warm gray eyes as he shows off and smirks, reaching out to run his fingers through his hair, along his shoulders and back.

"I never get tired of looking at you, Wille. You're gorgeous." Jesper has a suspicion this car is about to get hot, although it's in the Horizon, they don't have to let it. But he wants it to. He likes getting hot and sweaty, he likes Wilhelm dripping on him. He pushes his own shirt off and tosses it to the side, all lean brown skin.

"How are you going to take care of me?" He caresses Wilhelm's cheek and intentionally runs his thumb slowly along his perfect lips. "Are you going to put your pretty mouth around me?" He spreads his legs in a very suggestive way. It would be easy to simply blink off their clothes, they can do a lot in the Horizon, there are no boundaries.

But there is fun in letting Wilhelm do it. In letting Wilhelm explore his sexuality; it's been one of the best things about Abraxas for Jesper. Being his sexual guide and partner.

henceforth nsfw

[ordinar]

He loves the feeling of Jesper's eyes on him, transforming him into something beautiful. There's a weight to his grey gaze like there is to his touch skimming his spine, sparking across his skin. Like they're holding a conversation without words, Wilhelm grins as he follows the familiar pathways of Jesper's muscles and tattoos.

He's learned a lot from the other boy, on afternoons just like this. How to voice the things you want. How to tease, which is just another way of lighting a fire. As Jesper draws his thumb across his lip, Wilhelm smudges a kiss against the callused pad before taking it into his mouth to suck. Gentle and sweet, but there's nothing so innocent about the look he sears Jesper with.

"You want me to suck your dick?" The question drips softly into Jesper's ear, punctuated with a kiss dangled from the lobe. His fingers trickle down his tan stomach, tugging open the buttons on his pants, tracing the heat of Jesper's cock through fabric. Wilhelm could just will all of his clothes away on a whim, but this is more fun. "Mm...but I'm so comfortable right here..."

He feigns reluctance with a pout that's not to be trusted. His body, though, tells a story about impatience as he rolls his hips onto Jesper, sighing into the friction burning between them.

[itookashot]

Jesper runs a hand down his back and then slips right under his pants, underneath all the fabric to directly cup his sweet little ass and squeeze it. It also means he has a grip on it to pull Wilhelm closer to him, rising his hips up at the same time to keep rolling that friction between them.

"I created a monster," he says on a breathy laugh. He's hard as soon as Wilhelm's fingers caress him, blood in his brain dropping instantly, that's how good Wilhelm can get him sometimes. It's the playfulness, he loves it, he loves to see Wille relaxed and having fun, that positive energy an aphrodisiac.

"If you're impatient we can switch places and I'll ride you. That's what you want, don't you?" His other hand cups Wilhelm's face and he leans in to kiss him deeply, moaning into his mouth, sucking the air out of both of them. Only once they have to come up for more does he bite Wilhelm's bottom lip. "You can't resist being inside me."

Being his first time is a badge of honor in Jesper's opinion and he is very thirsty for it. He leans up and kisses Wilhelm's neck, licking his way down his throat and nipping at his collarbone. "I can be instantly open for you here. You can slide right in."

[ordinar]

If Jesper jumps in, Wilhelm jumps too. That's what it feels like, a current taking him away as he unzips his jeans to let Jesper squeeze his ass with greater ease, and grinds, and grinds, and grinds against him. Only, he's not drowning — he's floating, all warm and weightless in the heat of Jesper's kiss, basking in the sweltering hardness pinned beneath him.

"Who's impatient?" he teases, as if he isn't half breathless and hard as a rock in his suddenly too-tight pants. His head lolls back to encourage Jesper's mouth to slide down his throat, and his touch spins around Jesper's Wheel of Fortune tattoo. "Anyway, I didn't say I wouldn't..."

As comfortable as he is perched in Jesper's lap, he's pretty damn fond of the view from between his thighs too. Less gracefully than he hoped, Wilhelm slips off of him to kneel in the footwell. Whether there should be enough space for him to curl up there is up for debate, but somehow he fits. Wedged between Jesper's knees, he kisses a slow trail down his stomach, slips his hand inside his trousers to pet him. When his lips reach the top of the waistband, he tugs, pants and underwear both hooked in his hungry fingers, to spring his cock free.

"First, I'll suck you." He presses his lips to Jesper's shaft, a messy open-mouthed kiss to preview what comes next. "Then..."

He tilts a mischievous smile up at Jesper, on the verge of splitting into a laugh, letting him fill in the blanks to finish the rhyme.

[itookashot]

"Me, I'm impatient," Jesper says with a laugh. He also feels like he's floating or dancing on the cusp of something powerful, light-headed and thrilled, and he smiles as he cards his fingers through Wilhelm's hair. He makes room for him between his legs as best as he can, he has very long lean limbs, probably too long to be comfortable in small convertibles. But he's having fun so it doesn't matter.

His breath catches when Wilhelm's hand touches him and he moves his hips up so he can tug his pants and underwear down. Jesper shivers at the first press of lips to his hot and hard cock, the hand not tangled in his hair caressing Wilhelm's cheek. "Then you'll fuck me." He fills in for him with a laugh. "You better, been thinking about riding you since we got in this vehicle."

He doesn't care which seat it's in, but Jesper at least thinks very much about how obvious it is to find this sexy. The high speed, the power of the car, Wilhelm seeming so confident and easy behind the wheel, it was inevitable. And he suspects it was all on purpose, outside of a fun date Jesper's never been able to experience before.

"Anyone ever told you that you have perfect pouty lips? They look like they were made to suck me." Jesper smirks and purposely moves his hips so that he touches Wilhelm's face where he lets him, his shaft rubbing against his mouth and cheeks. Suggestive and pleading all at once. "It was one of the first things I thought when I saw your pretty face."

[ordinar]

He lets Jesper slide his cock over his face, lowered eyelashes and parted lips mimicking passivity even as he angles his head to nuzzle into the movement and ghost his lips against Jesper's shaft. So appealing, his impatience, Jesper reaching for him with his whole body. The thing that's awakened deep in his belly and prowls under his skin is hungry for it.

"Naughty." Wilhelm pronounces it like a judge passing a sentence. Guilty. Straight to horny jail.

But apparently he's a lenient judge, because he's curling his fingers around Jesper's cock and poising his "perfect pouty" lips over the flushed head. He teases his tongue over the slit, gaze bending upward to watch Jesper. He has learned his reactions by now, the shape Jesper's mouth makes around moans and gasps, whimpers and groans. The angle of his adam's apple when he throws his head back, the heated slate his eyes color. He loves them in the way you're predisposed to love familiar things. So, as he wraps his mouth around Jesper's cockhead and starts sucking like he's trying to drink him, he keeps watching.

[itookashot]

"The naughtiest," Jesper agrees. As if he's been an innocent a day in his life, especially around Wilhelm, who he has wanted since he saw him. And yes, he wants a lot of people, but each one is special, and what they have is unique. They can go from sweet to serious to hilarious to sexy in the space of a few seconds.

He breathes uneasily when his tongue caresses so simply across him and he tips his head back with a soft moan. Wilhelm knows exactly what to do with him, as familiar as anyone could be. "Yeah, baby, perfect." That perfect mouth. Jesper caresses his cheek and pushes just a little bit up so he can feel himself thrust against the skin there.

He pets his hair, tangled fingers in it, forcing himself to push his head forward and meet Wilhelm's watchful gaze. It makes his cock twitch inside of Wilhelm's mouth and a shiver go up his spine. Being looked at like that. He's always been into voyeurism, and this is partly why, seeing the pupils dilate and the lust in his eyes.

"Fuck." He didn't expect him to go all like that fast but Jesper prefers it that way, being impatient. He watches himself go in and out of Wilhelm's mouth, trying not to push up into him fully without permission, but he's strung tight as a bow.

[ordinar]

As soon as Jesper starts pushing, Wilhelm loosens his jaw to let him in, cradling the underside of Jesper's cock on his tongue. He tilts his head to let him rub against the inside of his cheek, gaze sizzling like lightning, and then he changes the angle to take him in deeper. Past a certain point, it becomes impossible to hold eye contact, but he can be satisfied by the breathy weight of Jesper's voice.

It used to be that he didn't know how to react to the dirty talk dripping hot and heavy from Jesper's tongue. Now it's a game, drawing the words out of him. It's part of the fun.

He starts bobbing up and down, sucking in his cheeks for a snugger fit on the upstroke and at the top of the rhythm swirling his tongue around the velvety head before taking the plunge again. One hand holds Jesper's cock steady, but the other hooks in the loose fabric of his trousers, still trapped around his gorgeous thighs. That's appealing too, the evidence of their shared impatience, the carelessness of it all — something he couldn't afford in his old life.

Soon enough, though, the urge to finish tugging them off wins Wilhelm over. The awkward, dogged maneuvering that should ensue gets smoothed out by the magic of the Horizon. One moment he's yanking at Jesper's pants, and the next he's already tossing them aside.