[ sam watches her during that moment of quiet, wondering if he's either struck a nerve or perhaps stumbled across something she hadn't planned on bringing up. or, what turns out to be more true, brought up something that had been on her mind. when she speaks, sam nods in that way that says he does understand, probably a little too well. ]
No, I know what you mean. It's hopeful thinking to believe this could be over, especially when you're talking about something like a cult. Ideas, whether good or bad, tend to spread the more attention they get - and they got our attention. [ there's a beat there before sam shifts, sitting up and looking at her with a little more of a furrowed brow and a little less of that easy smile. ]
You were one of the ones in her house? If it's alright, can I ask what kind of things you found? [ he knows it's a complicated situation, and there is a feeling to his request that if she said no, he would absolutely respect that too. but...god, he's so curious. and if there's something there that might help them clue into if it does happen again...
and then there's that, that almost quiet i feel lost some days, here, and sam's expression softens. ] It's hard, really hard. I've been here for...two years now? And I've had stretches where it's hard to remember why to get up and keep trying each day. Especially when this sort of thing happens.
There's nothing to keep secret about what we found, as far as I know. And Jocelyn isn't exactly in a position to protest anymore.
[ Claire's lips press into a thin line at that, still unsure of her own feelings about everything that happened in the aftermath. Still, she presses forward. ] There was a severed finger in a jar, for one. A door locked with what I assume to be blood magic, and more blood stored in a cabinet. I thought it might be her own at first, but now I think otherwise. There was some sort of root in a preservative, and a jar filled with what appeared to be human molars.
[ All in all, it was a great time at Jocelyn's. Taking a sip of lemonade after her soft confession, she nearly chokes on it when he mentions how long he's been here. It's the longest she's heard so far, and she swallows heavily, wincing when it hurts. ]
Two years, truly?
[ She knows he's telling the truth, it was a knee jerk question, and she closes her mouth, blinking quickly. ]
Sorry, it's only—that's about a year longer than the average time frame I've heard from some others. I thought if I could count in days, rather than multiple years, it would be easier to get through being separated from my family.
[ Claire has to look out at the view, grateful to Sam that it's gorgeous, and feels time running away from her again. She isn't young anymore, she can't afford to lose any more of it. When she turns back to him, her eyes are suspiciously glossy. ]
Why do you? Here, I mean, what is it about here that keeps you so kind?
[ Claire is kind, but she's so angry at time. Time, Abraxas, whoever or whatever has pulled and is keeping her here. She's done a good job of not showing it, writing it out in letters to Jamie instead, but she doesn't sleep well, and she makes her days so busy that there's no time to think. ]
[ as if matching the thought, when claire presses her lips into a thin line, sam's jaw clenches. he is a bit more sure of what it is he feels about all of this, but he also knows that his frustration isn't any good in this moment. instead, he redirects his attention to the list she shares with him, a severed finger and blood, roots and human molars. sam swallows, a kind of jesus christ whispered under his breath as he sits back in his chair.
this is just...so far out of his understanding. wanda would know so much more about it, and maybe stephen too. he puts a pin in that to ask them later, his eyes glancing back to her and the tension of that information easing out at her near-choking and question. he laughs, nods. ]
Give or take a couple of weeks, but yeah- just about. [ he's not at all surprised by her shock, other than himeka he's pretty sure wanda is one of the longest standing summoned and even she came relatively late to the game. he tries to hold onto that sort of ease to his tone even as he watches the realization of how long that is settle in to her. it's not a good piece of trivia, to be fair. certainly not for those who are trying to find their way home, so sam lets claire have a moment or two to herself. ]
I'm sorry I don't have better news. [ he offers first, because he knows what it means to miss your family. to be so far removed from them you don't even know when you'll see them again, if ever. sam's done this before, which is the only reason he's got his feet under him now, but...
her question still him for a moment, because that's...really what's at the heart of it. why do you? why does he keep trying? what keeps him moving? he lets out a breath, giving her a small smile. ] That's a hell of a question, you know? [ but in the next second he appears to be really considering it, needing a moment, and then another, before he seems to settle where he's seated. ]
I don't know about your world, but back home, things weren't always great. Hell- they usually weren't, and starting when I was young, I kinda threw myself right into them. Wanted to change the world and all that. [ there's a slight almost hesitation in sam, there; like he can still hear his sister berating him, arguing with him. he shakes his head. ] For a while I got really angry because things weren't changing fast enough, or at all in a lot of ways. For a long time, that's all it did - it made me angry- that no matter what you did, or how hard you worked, it never seemed to be enough. I didn't like taking orders, I didn't like the red tape, and I don't know. It put me into a rough place. [ he gives claire an apologetic smile, like he realizes how much he's talking and he feels bad. but even then, he does continue. ] I stopped trying for a little while, but - surprise surprise - that didn't help either. And it was around that time I found some people - my people, I guess - who reminded me why it was worth trying in the first place.
I guess what I'm trying to say is- I'm still angry from time to time, and lord knows I'll jump into a fight if I need to, but I realized somewhere along the way that we've had centuries where people have been trying to fix things with force, and anger, and power grabs. And sometimes it works, for a little while. But the only thing that I've seen actually work, and really stick, is being kind.
[ there's a pause, and then sam laughs; reaching for his lemonade and taking a long sip. ]
That's a really long winded way of saying my Ma beat kindness into me when I was real young, but hey- it stuck.
[ It's probably an unfair question, putting Sam on the spot, but she gives him a small and apologetic smile, letting him continue without interruption. The longer he goes on, the more she relates. Not necessarily about wanting to change the world; she only wanted to change a small part of it, and she most certainly didn't. And then she lost all of the people she'd found and loved, hollowing her out for such a long time. She doesn't want to feel that way again. It's why she forced herself out of bed in the early days of arriving in Solvunn. ]
I could hug you. [ Claire says that first, to establish that everything he's said has hit home. But now she has to think about his words and decide how much to share. Not because it's secret, and not because she fears she'll be judged, but because it's convoluted. Finally, she lets out a soft breath and fills the comfortable quiet between them. ]
Your mother sounds like a wise woman, and I have a very good feeling that she'd be quite proud of you if she could see you here.
[ Claire would be. She is. ]
You aren't wrong, either, about the state of the world. I've lived through two world wars and served in one. Then there was Korea and Vietnam. [ It gets exhausting, the fact that there has always been and likely will always be, another war brewing at any given moment. ] I suppose I couldn't get enough and even traveled back in time two-hundred years to try and change the results of the final battle during war in Scotland. And now I'm here, in the middle of another skirmish that seems tense, even with Jocelyn out of the picture.
[ After finishing her lemonade to about halfway, she wipes her hands together, the condensation cool on her palms. ]
I arrived here after being separated from my husband for twenty years. We'd only just reunited, and so it's been a bit of a bitter pill to swallow. I do seem to have found my people here, though.
[ She glances up at Sam, giving him a warm smile. ]
hello hi i'm the worst person in the world please forgive me ;-;
[ thankfully for her, sam has always been pretty decent with words. he's always liked talking, with people and around people, and about anything and everything. when he was little, it always came down to his titi asking what his grand plans were, and he always had to have an answer. now? now it's speeches in front of television cameras and trying his best to convince someone to put down the gun.
it's worked pretty well for his captain america career, no matter how short that was before abraxas.
but really, it's not like he has a perfect track record. he's had his weeks, months, where he was on autopilot more than he wasn't. getting out of bed is the hardest part, during those tougher times. and now? now she's here.
sam laughs, shaking his head. ] You could- I'm a great hugger.
[ it's the mention of his mother that has sam...not sobering, exactly, but there is a kind of stillness that comes over him even as he smiles. a little melancholy, but okay. he nods. ] She was. I don't even want to think about everything she'd do if she ended up here. This whole brewing war would have been sorted over a Sunday dinner and that would be that.
[ and as claire starts talking, sam listens. he picks up on a bit of that convoluted she'd been worried about, on the way the timelines don't really line up. he's about to ask about it, too, when she mentions time travel, and sam just sort of. accepts it all at that point. considering all the chaos that time travel caused for him and his back home? he can only imagine having to counter lives, and people, and what to do on top of all of that.
his smile turns sympathetic when she mentions her husband - about decades of time separated, to finally be reunited, and then this. he sets his own glass, which he'd been drinking every now and then during her words, down. ] I'm sorry about you and your husband. Especially after waiting for so long. [ it's genuine, his apology. even if he knows he had no hand in it, that situation...he can only imagine.
her warm smile is met with an equally warm one in return. ] Finding your people is the only good way I've found to combat all this. And I don't want to give you any false hope, I don't know the first thing about how all this works, but I've seen people come and go from here. All from different places, different times. If you and your husband have made it this far, I'm sure something like the Singularity won't stop you, either.
[ The hope isn't false, Claire is holding onto it too, hoping that one day she'll visit the Horizon or go to Nocwich only to see Jamie waiting for her. It's a dream she had for twenty years, and one she'll keep having until they're together again. ]
I very much want you to be right. We've been through more than our share of loss, both together and apart. All that we've wanted is to live a quiet life no duties to the crown or oaths. But it seems someone always has another war in mind, another grab for land or power.
[ Shaking her head, she manages a smile again. ]
It's always been that way, we're just on the ride-along this go 'round. And perhaps between those of us who are likeminded, we can spread a little hope and kindness.
[ he chuckles a little at that, if only because she says i very much want you to be right. he does believe it, that he will be right and that she will find her husband in the end. and he believes it so much that when she looks back to him, he is merely holding up his cup of lemonade. ]
If there's one thing I know about humanity, it's that there's always another war. But- people who are meant to be together always find each other in the end. And from what you've told me, you and your husband are gonna be those people. Just hope it doesn't take too long.
[ whether or not she cheers' him back, he'll take a sip. let that sit for a few moments. sit back up again after those few moments have passed. ]
But you are right- there's not enough of us around. Hope and kindness...I mean, we've been dropped in the middle of a freaking battleground to decide who is gonna be at war. I'll take all the help I can get, at this point. If you're offering it.
[ Claire does indeed return the cheers, smiling at him before taking a long sip. She'll toast to that, though Jamie's taking his sweet time, now.]
I'm always happy to help with whatever I can, when I can. It might help to coordinate if it's possible, though with not being able to get to one another in person easily, a real-life scenario might be more difficult.
[ Between the two of them, though, she's sure they could work something out hastily if needed. ]
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no subject
No, I know what you mean. It's hopeful thinking to believe this could be over, especially when you're talking about something like a cult. Ideas, whether good or bad, tend to spread the more attention they get - and they got our attention. [ there's a beat there before sam shifts, sitting up and looking at her with a little more of a furrowed brow and a little less of that easy smile. ]
You were one of the ones in her house? If it's alright, can I ask what kind of things you found? [ he knows it's a complicated situation, and there is a feeling to his request that if she said no, he would absolutely respect that too. but...god, he's so curious. and if there's something there that might help them clue into if it does happen again...
and then there's that, that almost quiet i feel lost some days, here, and sam's expression softens. ] It's hard, really hard. I've been here for...two years now? And I've had stretches where it's hard to remember why to get up and keep trying each day. Especially when this sort of thing happens.
no subject
[ Claire's lips press into a thin line at that, still unsure of her own feelings about everything that happened in the aftermath. Still, she presses forward. ] There was a severed finger in a jar, for one. A door locked with what I assume to be blood magic, and more blood stored in a cabinet. I thought it might be her own at first, but now I think otherwise. There was some sort of root in a preservative, and a jar filled with what appeared to be human molars.
[ All in all, it was a great time at Jocelyn's. Taking a sip of lemonade after her soft confession, she nearly chokes on it when he mentions how long he's been here. It's the longest she's heard so far, and she swallows heavily, wincing when it hurts. ]
Two years, truly?
[ She knows he's telling the truth, it was a knee jerk question, and she closes her mouth, blinking quickly. ]
Sorry, it's only—that's about a year longer than the average time frame I've heard from some others. I thought if I could count in days, rather than multiple years, it would be easier to get through being separated from my family.
[ Claire has to look out at the view, grateful to Sam that it's gorgeous, and feels time running away from her again. She isn't young anymore, she can't afford to lose any more of it. When she turns back to him, her eyes are suspiciously glossy. ]
Why do you? Here, I mean, what is it about here that keeps you so kind?
[ Claire is kind, but she's so angry at time. Time, Abraxas, whoever or whatever has pulled and is keeping her here. She's done a good job of not showing it, writing it out in letters to Jamie instead, but she doesn't sleep well, and she makes her days so busy that there's no time to think. ]
no subject
this is just...so far out of his understanding. wanda would know so much more about it, and maybe stephen too. he puts a pin in that to ask them later, his eyes glancing back to her and the tension of that information easing out at her near-choking and question. he laughs, nods. ]
Give or take a couple of weeks, but yeah- just about. [ he's not at all surprised by her shock, other than himeka he's pretty sure wanda is one of the longest standing summoned and even she came relatively late to the game. he tries to hold onto that sort of ease to his tone even as he watches the realization of how long that is settle in to her. it's not a good piece of trivia, to be fair. certainly not for those who are trying to find their way home, so sam lets claire have a moment or two to herself. ]
I'm sorry I don't have better news. [ he offers first, because he knows what it means to miss your family. to be so far removed from them you don't even know when you'll see them again, if ever. sam's done this before, which is the only reason he's got his feet under him now, but...
her question still him for a moment, because that's...really what's at the heart of it. why do you? why does he keep trying? what keeps him moving? he lets out a breath, giving her a small smile. ] That's a hell of a question, you know? [ but in the next second he appears to be really considering it, needing a moment, and then another, before he seems to settle where he's seated. ]
I don't know about your world, but back home, things weren't always great. Hell- they usually weren't, and starting when I was young, I kinda threw myself right into them. Wanted to change the world and all that. [ there's a slight almost hesitation in sam, there; like he can still hear his sister berating him, arguing with him. he shakes his head. ] For a while I got really angry because things weren't changing fast enough, or at all in a lot of ways. For a long time, that's all it did - it made me angry- that no matter what you did, or how hard you worked, it never seemed to be enough. I didn't like taking orders, I didn't like the red tape, and I don't know. It put me into a rough place. [ he gives claire an apologetic smile, like he realizes how much he's talking and he feels bad. but even then, he does continue. ] I stopped trying for a little while, but - surprise surprise - that didn't help either. And it was around that time I found some people - my people, I guess - who reminded me why it was worth trying in the first place.
I guess what I'm trying to say is- I'm still angry from time to time, and lord knows I'll jump into a fight if I need to, but I realized somewhere along the way that we've had centuries where people have been trying to fix things with force, and anger, and power grabs. And sometimes it works, for a little while. But the only thing that I've seen actually work, and really stick, is being kind.
[ there's a pause, and then sam laughs; reaching for his lemonade and taking a long sip. ]
That's a really long winded way of saying my Ma beat kindness into me when I was real young, but hey- it stuck.
no subject
I could hug you. [ Claire says that first, to establish that everything he's said has hit home. But now she has to think about his words and decide how much to share. Not because it's secret, and not because she fears she'll be judged, but because it's convoluted. Finally, she lets out a soft breath and fills the comfortable quiet between them. ]
Your mother sounds like a wise woman, and I have a very good feeling that she'd be quite proud of you if she could see you here.
[ Claire would be. She is. ]
You aren't wrong, either, about the state of the world. I've lived through two world wars and served in one. Then there was Korea and Vietnam. [ It gets exhausting, the fact that there has always been and likely will always be, another war brewing at any given moment. ] I suppose I couldn't get enough and even traveled back in time two-hundred years to try and change the results of the final battle during war in Scotland. And now I'm here, in the middle of another skirmish that seems tense, even with Jocelyn out of the picture.
[ After finishing her lemonade to about halfway, she wipes her hands together, the condensation cool on her palms. ]
I arrived here after being separated from my husband for twenty years. We'd only just reunited, and so it's been a bit of a bitter pill to swallow. I do seem to have found my people here, though.
[ She glances up at Sam, giving him a warm smile. ]
hello hi i'm the worst person in the world please forgive me ;-;
it's worked pretty well for his captain america career, no matter how short that was before abraxas.
but really, it's not like he has a perfect track record. he's had his weeks, months, where he was on autopilot more than he wasn't. getting out of bed is the hardest part, during those tougher times. and now? now she's here.
sam laughs, shaking his head. ] You could- I'm a great hugger.
[ it's the mention of his mother that has sam...not sobering, exactly, but there is a kind of stillness that comes over him even as he smiles. a little melancholy, but okay. he nods. ] She was. I don't even want to think about everything she'd do if she ended up here. This whole brewing war would have been sorted over a Sunday dinner and that would be that.
[ and as claire starts talking, sam listens. he picks up on a bit of that convoluted she'd been worried about, on the way the timelines don't really line up. he's about to ask about it, too, when she mentions time travel, and sam just sort of. accepts it all at that point. considering all the chaos that time travel caused for him and his back home? he can only imagine having to counter lives, and people, and what to do on top of all of that.
his smile turns sympathetic when she mentions her husband - about decades of time separated, to finally be reunited, and then this. he sets his own glass, which he'd been drinking every now and then during her words, down. ] I'm sorry about you and your husband. Especially after waiting for so long. [ it's genuine, his apology. even if he knows he had no hand in it, that situation...he can only imagine.
her warm smile is met with an equally warm one in return. ] Finding your people is the only good way I've found to combat all this. And I don't want to give you any false hope, I don't know the first thing about how all this works, but I've seen people come and go from here. All from different places, different times. If you and your husband have made it this far, I'm sure something like the Singularity won't stop you, either.
omg shhhhhhh no you are not <3 <3
I very much want you to be right. We've been through more than our share of loss, both together and apart. All that we've wanted is to live a quiet life no duties to the crown or oaths. But it seems someone always has another war in mind, another grab for land or power.
[ Shaking her head, she manages a smile again. ]
It's always been that way, we're just on the ride-along this go 'round. And perhaps between those of us who are likeminded, we can spread a little hope and kindness.
i am but i appreciate you forgiving me ;-;
If there's one thing I know about humanity, it's that there's always another war. But- people who are meant to be together always find each other in the end. And from what you've told me, you and your husband are gonna be those people. Just hope it doesn't take too long.
[ whether or not she cheers' him back, he'll take a sip. let that sit for a few moments. sit back up again after those few moments have passed. ]
But you are right- there's not enough of us around. Hope and kindness...I mean, we've been dropped in the middle of a freaking battleground to decide who is gonna be at war. I'll take all the help I can get, at this point. If you're offering it.
😘 there's always august, too!
I'm always happy to help with whatever I can, when I can. It might help to coordinate if it's possible, though with not being able to get to one another in person easily, a real-life scenario might be more difficult.
[ Between the two of them, though, she's sure they could work something out hastily if needed. ]