abraxaslogs | [july] keep me in the dollhouse, dressed up

I had no idea the world of swinging and alternative relationships was so vast.

[Nadine can honestly say she's never given it much thought. But she likes the phrase 'ethical non-monogamy'. It suits what she and Jaskier do quite well. She's going to have so many things to share with him the next time they talk.

Her expression turns almost thoughtful when Julie moves on to her question. It's not entirely unexpected. She can imagine the other woman's thought about what she'd said that once, almost in passing.]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure Lloyd only saw him when he looked human. It only happened once, the first time. Which started out...well, not normal, because he was using an illusion or something so it didn't look or feel like we were in the desert. But in the middle of things he...changed. And the illusion wasn't holding well. He wasn't shaped like a human anymore. I mean, he was, basically, but...

[Nadine shakes her head and downs the rest of her wine in one go. She doesn't even know how to describe what had suddenly been stretched out over her. Something like a corpse, but red eyed and she swears it had looked like his skin was cracked and peeling off of him...

But none of those details need to be relayed.]

It was fucked up, and it hurt, and he felt cold...but it obviously didn't leave any lasting damage or anything, so I don't know. Magic, I guess.

Oh, that's barely even touchin' the surface. BDSM is like, the only thing I can think of that gets even more detailed.

[ In Julie's defense, it's a haunting thought with too many possibilities. How big? What was it shaped like? Fucked up how? It's like getting kicked out before the biggest twist in the movie. She wants to know the twist!

For a moment, Julie is quiet. Her eyes tick thoughtfully from corner to corner, rolled up toward the ceiling. Like she is processing in real time. Finally, she speaks, slowly. ]

Okay, but like... how big? [ For whatever reason, this seems to be where she's stuck. Helpfully, she raises her arm in front of her, bent at the elbow, a vertical line. Her fist is balled. ] Like, to the elbow? 'Cause I have definitely seen a video of that, and it's possible.

[ She is way too serious about it.

Sorry, Nadine. ]

Oh my God, I...have no idea, it was already inside me when this happened. I didn't see it, I just...felt it. And it felt like something freezing cold and big was tearing me apart. I have no idea what the scale is for true-form demon dicks or how magic demon sex works. It...it was a really weird wedding night.

[And she'd never once asked him about it, when she had the chance. She hadn't wanted to. Flagg had never done that again, in the handful of months they'd been together. Thankfully.

But it's something she'll never forget. How does anybody forget that? Really, she should have realized then and there. Love and magic do weird things to a person.]

Every other time he was normal, the Flagg you and everybody always saw. And it was good. Big but normal human big.

[ Julie really wants to keep pushing. She is nothing if not relentless. Ideally, she would walk away from this exchange with a pencil sketch. She died for that man-thing, she deserves to know exactly what his dick is really like. Julie feels she has earned that right.

But she loves Nadine more than her own sense of entitlement (just barely), so she lets it go. Mostly. ]

I'm just sayin', you can pretty much say you've been fisted. That's cool. That kinda shit can make a lot of money. Plus, most people haven't had sex with demons. Double cool. President of the hardcore club.

[ And then she reaches for another cookie. Taking a bite, she sinks back into the pillows and crosses her legs. ]

So then what about stuff you haven't tried, but you would?

I don't know if I want to ever say that. [Nadine laughs.] That's part of my story that only you know, and only you will ever know.

[God, she has such weird sexual baggage. Whatever, it's all in the past. That whole fucked up and lengthy chapter of her life is done. Things are better now. Even including the occasional accidental demon.]

Mmm, I don't know. I thought a lot about orgies, only because there was a time I was pretty sure that would be a part of my future. Still not sure where I land on that. I think...I'd probably try a lot of stuff, that didn't get too far into violent or was...gross.

[It's like being in the hallway of some vast mansion full of different rooms. She has explored very little, and isn't entirely sure what could be behind all of those closed doors. But she's curious. There's so much she has yet to experience, yet to even think about.]

I like learning things, and it's not any different when it comes to sex.

Like I said, it's cool. [ Julie shrugs. She can't say she's ever thought very much about the subject before, but from a purely physical facet, being fisted (or... well, she doesn't know how to translate that to "demon dicked") is objectively impressive. Sort of like how contortionists are just fascinating to watch. ] I mean, even with magic, I don't know how many people get to have that kinda story.

[ She nods as she nibbles at her cookie, listening. ] It was actually less orgies than you'd think. I mean, still a decent number, but not that many. Tons of people fuckin' everywhere you went, though.

[ The way she speaks is almost absent-minded. Julie very rarely actually speaks of New Vegas, even the benign parts like this. It is a chapter of life that she has no real desire to ever relive. Not the good times, of which there were many, and certainly not of the bad times. But Nadine has as much right to the memories as Julie does, even if she had not had the chance to live them.

And Julie is quite faded on wine and weed right now, so. ]

What about stuff like roleplay or whatever?

Okay, fair, it is a pretty unique story.

[Which makes sense. All the things that make Nadine any degree of unique are weird things. But still. It's not one any but Julie will ever hear. There's really no need for anyone else to know.]

Huh. I always imagined just a ton of orgies.

[Romanesque debauchery all around, really. That was her only true context for widespread hedonism, all those alleged stories of the sexual and pleasurable excess of the Roman emperors and nobility. Caligula and the rest.

Not that it matters. Either way, her future is a lot less orgy-filled. Maybe at some point. Jaskier seems like the type to enjoy a nice orgy now and again.

She makes another little 'hmm' noise and looks up, thoughtfully, at Julie's question.]

Roleplaying? I don't know...I guess I've never thought that much about it. Well...I don't know, I have thought about dressing Jaskier up like Lord Byron and having him recite poetry, but I'm not sure if that counts. I guess I'd probably try it, if the premise wasn't ridiculous.

[The common scenarios she's familiar with mostly come from television. Some of them she's just not sure she could take seriously. How anyone could take seriously.]

Have you done it?

Like I said, there definitely were orgies, just less than you'd expect. Probably 'cause an orgy takes more organization than most of us were willin' to put in.

[ An orgy requires being able to coordinate everyone going to the right place at the right time. And there were enough old or ugly people that it couldn't be an open door policy. But also, despite the insane level of hedonism, a lot of the time, New Vegas was a stressful place to be, at least in the upper echelons. They were constantly subject to Flagg's whims and near-omnipotence. ]

Lord Byron? [ Julie's nose wrinkles a little. It's not an unfamiliar name, but she can't say she knows any of his work. Nor does she know how that would look; isn't Jaskier basically already from Lord Byron times? Just... elsewhere? ] I think that definitely counts. I think he'd probably get all dramatic over it bein' someone else's poetry, but it counts.

[ She rolls her eyes thoughtfully, then shifts and turns over. Julie plants her knee on Nadine's other side and straddles her, sitting up to rest on her haunches on Nadine's lap. She reaches for both of Nadine's hands, lacing their fingers together. ]

Sure. Only a few times in like, a full-blown, dress up type deal. Usually at Halloween. I asked Geralt if he wanted to hunt, after my first party. [ She giggles a bit. A wolf and a deer. Good combination. ] But sometimes, you just come up with an idea. Make a little joke about it and go from there.

[Huh. Nadine had never considered that orgies would need to be organized, but it makes sense. The things one learns...

She laughs a little and shrugs.]

I like the romantics. And actually...thinking about it...I think I might be into roleplaying. I...thought that's what was going on when Dean and I hooked up while he was a demon.

[And she'd been into it. In the context of a sexy game, it had been perfectly fine. She thinks on some of the things she and Jaskier have done, and some of it has skirted close to roleplay.

As Julie shifts, Nadine lifts herself a bit higher on her pillows. She threads her fingers through Julie's and smiles with growing interest. Considering the topic of conversation this evening, she's certainly feeling it. And when she's nice and blitzed she always finds herself even more aware of how beautiful the other woman is.]

That's really cute. But yeah, I can see what you mean, about a joke growing into not a joke.

Really? [ Julie seems surprised. Her own encounter with Dean had been much more straight-forward, even if he did trigger something in her head that she does not want to think about. He hadn't said anything that made her think he was playing a role. ] Like how? He did like, a whole scene?

[ Well, now she feels even more gypped. Just another thing to get annoyed at Dean about later. What, I'm not good enough for a whole set-up?, she will say, smacking him in the chest repeatedly.

She gently squeezes Nadine's hands, leans forward to kiss her softly. ]

Or you can use stuff you're already doin'. Somethin' like, "Oh, Doctor Nadine, I just don't know what's wrong. Can you gimme an exam?"

Yeah, actually, he did.

[Aside from the - entirely non-sexual - single detail she shared with Geralt, her encounter with Dean isn't one she's told anyone about. For a variety of reasons. But her walls are down this evening, even moreso than they normally are with Julie. And there's little Nadine keeps from Julie.]

And he was real up front about the demon thing, but I just thought it was part of a scenario. He'd been helping me work through some things and a roleplaying aspect wasn't unusual. I just thought...it was basically sex therapy. It was therapeutic...

[She'd never felt threatened, or as if anything had gone beyond her control. But she hadn't known the reality. Things likely would have gone much differently if she had.

The kiss is eagerly returned, and she laughs after Julie pulls away.]

Yeah, I should have seen that coming. "Get undressed and let me take a look", it lends itself really well.

[ Julie is gonna kick Dean right in the shin. She demands equal treatment by demons who want to fuck her because of a grudge with someone else! But something else about this makes her squint. ]

I'm sorry, you're gettin' dick therapy from Dean? Dean Winchester? And it's helping? [ She is so incredulous. The idea of a group of consenting adults having sex interchangeably between themselves made him leave the room. ] What -- I actually cannot imagine that.

[ She shakes her head, as if to clear it. The whole affair is something Julie would rather forget, but one thing sticks with her: Dean is sexy only while possessed by a literal demon. It's just the gospel truth, pun intended.

With a grin and a hum, Julie lets go and runs her hands up Nadine's stomach, over her chemise. ]

Or I could help you study for class. Learn anatomy and... [ There is a pause. She is obviously not entirely clear what med school entails. ] biology.

[ Those might be the same thing. She's not sure. ]

[Nadine's immediate response is to laugh.]

Oh god, no! The sex and the helping me work through some things were separate. There were role playing elements to the therapy stuff. Just a lot of me being able to tangibly confront some things and stuff like that. But I do have some weird issues around sex and romance, and I honestly thought I understood what he was doing. I thought he was kind of...recreating a scenario for me where I'd have the power. But no, I'm just catnip for demons I guess.

[It had made sense to her. It was hardly the first time Dean had presented her with a 'demon' in the Horizon. Usually a pale imitation of reality, conjured with the magic of the place, but the precedent was there.

At least she can sort of laugh about it. What else can she do? At some point she knows she needs to actually talk to Dean, but...she imagines neither of them are in any rush. Anyway, now is hardly the time to think about it. Right now she's in bed with someone who means a great deal more to her than Dean. Something else she never would have imagined, just a couple of years ago. They hadn't exactly gotten off to a great start. But they'd been different people then, caught in the same dark maelstrom.]

Anatomy. Or...have you ever heard of reflexology? It's where you utilize the connections of the nervous system to trigger endorphin release with massage. It can be used for relieving pain....and increasing pleasurable sensations. I could really use some practice...

[While she's still not sold on it as an actual branch of medicine, it certainly has bedroom applications in this context. A sexy massage is still a sexy massage.]

How is he qualified to help with therapy? That man has the emotional IQ of a sack of potatoes. Like, might as well adopt a hound dog and ask it for advice.

[ She doesn't comment on the rest. Nadine may be demon catnip, but they want her; Julie just feels like an idiot because something inside her is drawn to them and they don't care about her at all. It's incredibly demoralizing to feel unwanted by literal demons.

Yes, she is aware of how fucked up that line of thinking is, but she can't help how she feels.

Brows knit, Julie shakes her head in response to the question. The word reflexology isn't exactly unfamiliar, but maybe she just thinks that because she knows what a reflex is. ]

Mm-mm, I don't know what that is. They teach that at your school? [ Her back arches and she pulls her slip over her head, tossing it to the end of the bed. ] I can suffer through a massage, though. For you.

[ Has anyone (well, anyone not creepy) ever been turned down when offering a massage? ]

Not actual therapy. Just...therapeutic guidance in one specific area. It doesn't matter.

[It's not like that's going to be resuming anytime soon, if at all. Some catharsis was found, and that's worth it to Nadine. Sometimes a girl just needs to scream angry things at her demons. Literally.

But demons and Dean are quickly fading from her mind. It would difficult to concentrate on anything, really, with Julie stripping off her nightclothes on top of her. That's the sort of thing that commands all attention.]

I took a class. They teach all kinds of things at the academy. I know all about the body, how everything works, what parts are extra sensitive....

[A smart approach from Julie, really. Nadine always likes talking about her medical studies, and she finds it easy. Even in this particular context. It's sort of fun, honestly. Similar to thinking about ways to apply her magic in the bedroom. Anatomy has dozens of applications here.

She takes one of Julie's hands in her own, palm up. Her fingers begin to rub gently but firmly at the base of her thumb and high on the center of her palm.]

There are so many nerve endings in the human body, right here in the skin. And every one of them can send good feelings everywhere.

[ Resting on her heels, Julie curiously watches what Nadine is doing. She's not entirely sure what she should be feeling; she feels good, but she's been drinking and smoking, so that's to be expected anyway. Her brow knit, she peeks back up at Nadine. ]

What am I supposed to feel?

[ Is it that she's focusing on the wrong thing? It's hard to tell where one sensation ends and another begins. ]

Yeah, don't worry about that, just...enjoy a foreplay massage and the sexy talk.

[Nadine can't vouch for the effectiveness of this. But it's fun in bed, and she moves her hands to work them slowly up Julie's arms, more caressing than massaging until she reaches her upper arms. God, Julie always has the softest skin. She takes her time, lifting up off of her pillows as she brushes the pads of her thumbs teasingly over the hollow of the other woman's elbows.]

All you should be feeling is good. One way or another, I'm going to make every inch of you feel amazing.

[Leaning forward, she nips playfully at Julie's neck.]

I do know some of your particularly sensitive spots, after all. And if nothing else...doctors are very good with their hands and I can finger you until you come like crazy.

[Jaskier's been working with her on her bedroom talk.]

[ Well, why didn't she just say that from the start? Julie is easily distracted and sometimes hyper-focuses, Nadine should know this by now. Also, she purposefully listens closely when Nadine tells her medical school stuff. Not because she actually cares about medicine, but because Julie wants to be encouraging for her friend.

Immediately upon being told this, Julie loosens up again. She giggles as Nadine leans forward, but she shrieks with delighted surprise to hear Nadine speak like that. ]

Nadine! [ Before she can move back much, Julie catches her by tossing her arms over Nadine's shoulders. One hand tangles in Nadine's hair as Julie kisses her deeply for a moment. When she breaks away, she stays close to Nadine's face, their foreheads touching. ] That's so fuckin' hot, angel. When'd you get the nerve?

[Nadine laughs, cheeks a little pink.]

Jaskier is very encouraging. And apparently dirty talk is extra hot when I do it, because I don't very often.

[Which she can understand. It's one of the reasons she broke it out with Julie - to excite her. That, and she knows that like with Jaskier, she wouldn't feel embarrassed or silly about it. Both have been instrumental in helping her shed many of her inhibitions - though some still remain. It's a lifetime of strange sexual issues that needs to be undone, it's an ongoing process.

But it's an active one. The fact that she's so comfortable and casual in her physical relationship with Julie is proof of that. Two years ago and she would have been self-conscious, awkward, unsure. Even if she's aware now that she's had some kind of an attraction to the other woman since they fled the castle. Now it's just easy and natural.

It's been that way since the first time.]

But sometimes it's fun to be a little dirty. Or a lot.

[ With a low chuckle, Julie kisses Nadine again, closes her eyes as she sinks into it. The high makes the whole world feel warm and hazy and good. Her heartbeat seems to pulse sharply through her whole body, a heavy rhythm. Nadine's nightdress is soft and cozy against her own bare skin.

Absently, her hips rock into Nadine's lap, and a quiet groan comes from somewhere deep in her chest. Julie catches Nadine's bottom lip with her teeth and tugs a little, smirking. ]

You should tell 'im. Now. [ Her breath comes sharply, and her words scattered between quicker kisses. ] I don't wanna see it. Just... it's hot if it's you two. Knowin' that you're talkin' about me.

[ Okay, so maybe she's rethinking her opinion of the subject. Maybe it's that she was imagining more of a gossip style of storytelling -- that still makes her cringe. But a play-by-play, in real time, that's much sexier to her. ]

[It doesn't take much to get Nadine worked up under normal circumstances. Add in the pleasant veil of intoxication and she's already feeling that buzzing tingle just under her skin and that pulsing warmth in the core of her.]

Yeah?

[There's delighted surprise in her voice when Julie urges her to share their activities with Jaskier. Her fingers stray up to play with the other woman's hair, threading through it as she marvels at how silken it feels. She's more than happy to oblige. Usually she messages him after, with a general overview and a few choice specifics. Never has she actually messaged him while in the act.

Her own smile has a touch of something almost wicked to it, excited at the prospect. It's not something she thinks she'd be comfortable doing with many partners, but with Julie...]

Okay. I promise I only have very good things to say.

[It takes a moment to work up the concentration, distracted as she is by the warmth of Julie and the press of her thighs, the taste of her on her lips. But she manages a brief message, that leaves no question as to what they're up to at the moment.]

I trust you.

[ A murmur before she presses her tongue back into Nadine's mouth. Part of the rush is also from distracting Nadine and making the task more difficult, she finds. Something about the push-and-pull of attention. Getting a spotlight is no fun when the whole stage is lit up, and Julie loves the spotlight. Grinding much more intentionally against Nadine, Julie imagines the internal struggle to put the words together, actually send them out. A shock of heat catches in her stomach and spreads at the thought; Julie mimics the flow by pushing her hand up Nadine's middle from low on her belly, pressing her chemise flat under her palm.

Cupping Nadine's breast, Julie thumbs her nipple through the fabric, back and forth. She breaks away again, smiles smugly. ]

You said I get a massage.

I did say that.

[This is very hard with divided attention. Nadine thinks it would be hard even if she were fully sober. Julie certainly isn't making it any easier, but that's probably on purpose. Her concentration falters each time the other woman touches her, skin prickling eagerly. It's impossible not to lean into the touch, not to moan softly. How is she supposed to pay attention to anything but Julie?

Jaskier likely isn't going to get a terribly coherent and detailed account of the evening.]

Turn around...

[Her hands find Julie's hips runs her hands over them teasingly. An idea occurs to her, since she fully intends to give a proper but sensual massage. Sensual being key.]

I have some massage oil in the bedside drawer. Do you want regular...or aphrodisiac?

[ There is something wildly erotic about the idea of frustrating two people at the same time. Making Nadine struggle is fantastic, but she also can picture Jaskier's reaction to having this narration forced into his vision, and that makes everything even better. She loves to tease men.

Julie moves from Nadine's lap, turns on her knees to face the other way before she sits on her heels. Sweeping her hair over one shoulder, she then glances back at Nadine, with maybe a touch of surprise in her eyes. Pleased surprise. ]

Oh, so now you're all over aphrodisiacs? You wanted me to take that potion from you at the summit. [ She chuckles and bites the corner of her bottom lip before she turns around. ] Either way, I think you know my answer.

Well, I make them now. I have to test them out.

[Nadine laughs as she stretches over to grab the small bottle out of the drawer. It's not a terribly potent one, but it enhances physical sensations. Which neither of them probably needs right now, but that's no reason not to use it anyway.]

I have a reputation as an apothecary to keep up. I'd be a really crappy one if I sold dud aphrodisiacs. So consider this product testing.

[She warms the oil up in her hands first, already feeling her palms and fingers begin to tingle pleasantly. While she's trying to keep up with messaging Jaskier, her messages keep faltering and trailing off rather than finishing properly. Especially once she puts her hands on Julie's bare shoulders, shivering at the contact. The sensation of skin on skin alone is enough to make her breath hitch, but with the electrical warmth seeping through her from the oil it's only amplified.]

This will definitely make you feel something.

[july] keep me in the dollhouse, dressed up

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nsfw

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