abraxaslogs | The elves created secret passages everywhere

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The elves created secret passages everywhere

WHO: Istredd and anyone!
WHAT: Catch-all for September
WHERE: Thorne, Horizon, Nocwich
WHEN: Nebulous all over September stuff.
WARNINGS: Spoilers for The Witcher season 3! PTSD from details within the season.

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Istredd had plans to go to Nocwich for only two things: to speak with Geralt and to see Louis. He brought a monster head to Geralt as a joke and gift, something that would amuse them, and also give Geralt something he wanted. They also had to check in to see if the new memories were across the board, if he and Yennefer got it at the same time. That entire thing is complicated and his feelings are still extremely raw from the surge of memories that flooded into his head.

He reaches out to Louis regardless and says he'll meet him on the bench with the sun ring. If it was anyone else, he might have asked for some time, but they have a different type of bond. And he knows that Louis is also suffering, considering Lestat is gone, and he told him about his maker in the Feywilds. He deserves to have someone follow through what they promised, so he ends up on the bench early, hands on his knees, leaning over, clearly lost in thought.

His bag of holding is placed nearby and there is strangely some blood on it, not only on the inside, but when he moved it, despite the containment. Louis might pick up on the scent. Istredd doesn't like the constant darkness of Nocwich, so he rarely stays here for long, but there is something peaceful about it right then. He twirls the ring in his palm as he broods.

Edited 2023-09-01 04:10 (UTC)

Memories have always been complex for Louis. Decades of them, and few to keep. The blessing and curse of having a sharp memory is being able to keep precious few, but at the same time they will fade. The details become a fuzz. There's a block inside him, one that he won't touch. He probably has trained himself to delude his person long ago on matters that hit too close to the weeping heart. He's always wondered if it's individual or if his dark gift is forcing him to detach. He's not sure he wants to know what full detachment is even a hundred or half a century later. What kind of vampire would he be hundreds of years later?

He didn't appreciate having the rush of someone else's memories in his head, something that added a sensitive touch, and he'll go as far as to say it's a violation. They were not his memories, and the fear they gave wasn't something he wants inside of him. Louis will have to keep an eye out for Henry next time he sees him. He's still recovering somewhat, although his self-healing is doing its duty. He has a broken rib that is nearly at a hundred percent healed. It tells him the damage was great enough in the last week that even his nature is responding to it accordingly.

He's careful when he walks towards the bench, the scent of blood instantly prominent. Istredd looks rough in the sense that he's been through. Reminds him of the men that came off the station wagons during the Great War. He settles on on the other end of the bench, voice an octave softer.

"If you hadn't come, I wouldn't have faulted you. When we made these plans, I wouldn't think we'd be attacked by beasts. How you holding up?"

Istredd relaxes when he senses Louis nearby. He probably would have tensed with anyone else, but the vampire's quiet presence is very reassuring. He leans back against the bench and shakes his head. "It's not the beasts. Although I did run myself a little ragged."

Unsurprising. Istredd, as Louis knows, can be careless about his own safety. He focuses on others first. He spent the time jumping between portals, fighting one beast and then the next, although usually as a defensive assist. But Lucifer kept him grounded.

"Lucifer was possessed by the beast we set out to kill, from our sphere. He nearly killed everyone there." And Istredd is not kidding. His tone is grave. That includes Istredd, and Yennefer, and all the mages that were with them. He may have spoken about his lover before, but not that he is powerful beyond any of them. He also hasn't indicated that he is an infamous character from the Bible that Michael put into his sphere. "I had to bring him back telepathically, it weakened both of us."

Not that he minds. Istredd clawed tooth and nail through his mind to drag Lucifer back to sanity, and Yennefer is a big reason why they all lived too. The most peaceful of love triangles, to be honest. "And then the Singularity decided to deliver brand new memories from my future, right afterward. Traumatizing ones. So my brain is not doing great." His emotions either, his heart least of all, but he does feel weak mentally.

"Exhaustion of the mind." He had gotten the impression when they first met, that Istredd seemed the type to want to help out to his best ability, and now he knows it could end up being past the point of exhaustion. He gets it, the power and will that comes with protecting people one loves. It's been a while, but he still feels the ghost of it. Louis had aided, running around to redirect the beasts in sight away from the locals, but his reasoning had half the intention of helping and more to preserve a threat of destroying the little he was starting to see as a new home.

Louis listens intently, picking up on what is being said, and now he's forming a few questions that have no place in the conversation. He had raised his eyebrows at someone naming their child ‘Lucifer’, but to think it might be... It couldn't. Actually, it's falling into pieces because of the message that was sent out at the start, where the Michael he knows in Solvunn was exposed via network. Louis had to confirm he’s thee archangel from the bible. The names side by side now make sense, especially after the beast attacks were cleared.

"It just hit me that you're dating the Devil." He doesn't mean it disrespectfully and even having that thought might have once been sacrilegious. Some part of him might actually be in awestruck disbelief somewhere deep down. It’ll pass. "At least you all are safe now. Doesn't mean that it wasn't terrible. I came out with a few injuries myself, and I self-heal. New memories, you say? I hope they weren't all too bad if any?"

He has to briefly wonder if that'll happen to him, and if he even wants whatever is meant to be his. The new information regarding memories of a future self is jarring in itself.

"Yes, the devil." Istredd says with a sigh. He's too tired to worry that much about how people know the devil, Lucifer, as a villain. If Castiel can get over Istredd dating his worst enemy/brother, he assumes Louis can accept he has his reasons. "He's not what you think. All I ask is you reserve judgment until you meet him."

Lucifer is an ass so that doesn't mean it will be a perfect meeting either, but the difference is that Louis will see for himself that he's a person. A powerful person, an archangel, but he isn't some boogeyman from a story. "He's annoying and difficult, but he's very real. And he loves me, against all his instincts." Not that Lucifer even knows that he loves Istredd. It's a term that is alien to him, but Istredd is permanently in a telempathic bond with him. He feels it whenever they're together, but he doesn't want to freak him out, so he's never called him out on it.

Louis' is different. They've been very open about the loves of their lives at this point and he knows that the vampire will be more open-minded than most. "The memories are all bad. My home is destroyed, most of my people dead, and I'm captured by a truly evil person, known for drugging and torturing people." Istredd has nothing good to say about this situation. He is practically an open wound at the moment, his voice raw saying all of that in one breath.

"I'm acquainted with Michael. I also know what's someone else's business is theirs." He likes Michael, and if anything he's more on the fence of meeting any of the Winchesters from what he heard. He does judge, but not for this, especially after their last conversation. Lestat was arguably considered a point of view for evil if seen from the outside, and Claudia had her serial killer means. He didn't agree with them over their killing, but he still loved them. Istredd's ask is only a mirror, transporting him back to the frustrations of why he does not open up. Istredd has the courage to ask what Louis couldn't, which in itself is admirable. There's assurance in his tone.

"I'm not religious anymore. I think everyone, even 'the devil', deserves a second chance. I ain't no saint myself." He wants to make sure Istredd knows his peace on it, at least the extent he can admit. And yes, even if Lucifer would be an asshole to him he'll keep an open mind for the day he were to ever meet him. It's the next part that keeps him quiet out of respect when he picks up on the vulnerability over these memories. It's a silent honoring, what he's done with Claudia's shrine when he visits. To people gone, to a home destroyed, to the loss of it all. He finds he truly feels for Istredd and his loss. Louis would be angry, but he keeps it to himself. Instead, it's melancholy that wins out.

"You're here. I hope you find solace in the home you've made for yourself. It'll hurt for a long time. If I know something from the time we've known one another, it's that you're strong-willed, Istredd."

"Michael and I get along decently. They're all tortured in their own way, their God was harsher on the angels than anyone else." It's very strange if you think about it. His first creations, designed to worship him and never ask questions, and they're the ones he focuses on hurting. Istredd can't make heads or tails of what their 'Father' was thinking or his motivations, but they don't know either. He's much more spiteful toward that God than anything else.

He reaches out to take Louis' hand, comfortable in their connection to do that. "I think everyone who adapts to this place eventually starts to see it as a second chance." Probably because they have to do that. Otherwise they'll be stuck in this place forever with no sense of purpose.

"I am happy here, it's not very easy when you love and hate the same people. You understand." Since Louis and he have already discussed the mixed feelings toward Lestat, and possibly even Claudia. "The way they raised us was monstrous and they weren't good people, but they were the only family I knew. And my mentor wasn't my father, but I still hoped he could change, and he's dead now."

Istredd did 'betray' Stregobor right before coming here, reporting him to the others, when he thought he was the villain. He wanted him to see justice, but not for him to die. Now they will never have closure, eternally. It's the mixed feelings that are staying with him. The Brotherhood was never something he thought could end. It was supposed to permanently exist as a headache that he would eventually have to take over like the rest of his class.

"I'll be okay, I just haven't mourned."

It may be different, but he somehow thinks it all ends up the same, if it is to believe that the spirit, the mind, and soul all were to belong to a singular god, and that same god could easily sacrifice their child. There's a pang to that, to think that he may have done the same on the surface. He is no god, nor does he ever wish to reach such heights. He tried to stop it, but what is done is done and he carries the wound of it for all eternity. It started with Paris. He's learning to live with it. It's a part that he hopes to be able to talk about with Istredd one day. He knows deeply what Istredd speaks about as if it were from his own, since he's still finding ways to mourn. The shrine he refurbished still stands for Claudia and grows strong under his care.

He opens his hand up when Istredd grabs it, securing the hold with the grasp of his fingers over the back of his hand. It’s becoming easier, to allow thinking in which he isn’t alone. Is it enough, he thinks. There’s a tremble in his voice that becomes fortified.

"Mourn." It's such a simple statement to make, one that he thinks Istredd has probably heard or knows well enough. He does not need Louis to tell him. There's relief in saying it out loud, one that he wasn't given the opportunity to do properly.

“People we love often can hurt us the most. And we them. Don't matter what relationship it is. It mattered to you. Circumstances makes us do what we have to do. I’d like you to read Claudia’s diary when you feel up to it. It’s back where I left my reading nook. It's safe there. My most valuable possession." He knows it's not the original one, that the Horizon is only granting him another gift from his will. A shorten breath before he speaks up again. Istredd's vulnerability is opening his up, "You have my permission. I’ve found it’s best to mourn with others. I'm here, for whenever you need to take a bookmark to life.”

I don't know, he thinks back. But I hope so. What else can he do? This is the only answer he can reach for. Istredd may be older than he looks but compared to the rest, his class is considered young. He has hundreds of years ahead of him still, at least.

"Of course, if you give me permission." Istredd would never enter anyone's mind or their private space without permission. That is something he takes very seriously, and what he reassures other people of when they get nervous being around a telepath.

"Stregobor was a terrible person. Truly. Racist against elves, cruel, apathetic, manipulative. He taught me how to spy and break others, he wanted me to be his heir." So there is a paternal edge to their relationship, in the worst way. "As a young introverted boy, it meant a lot, for our rector to single me out." Istredd's always been the outsider. Even as a child he felt like an outsider. He didn't excel at the things the other students were focused on, he was too internal. But he did excel at what Stregobor considered the most important, so he was chosen.

"It took me longer than I'd like to break away from him, but I never was able to really fully do it. Even with this memory update, when I turned him in for what I thought were his crimes, I wanted to believe he'd finally listen." Istredd laughs, humorlessly, shaking his head. Because it's naive, it's still so naive. This was just jammed into his memory and he's making the same mistakes. "And now he's dead. Which means all the stupid childish things I hoped for with him are dead too."

Any hopes at a better man, at a mentor he could be proud of, of even some tiny bit of change. Or of believing that despite everything, Stregobor did care for something. For him. His emotions make his voice shaky. "They're all gone, and I used to think if the old guard would just die or leave, we'd be able to rebuild, but now it's real."

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The elves created secret passages everywhere

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