abraxaslogs | [ CLOSED ] just look across and see

[ That's one blessing he can count: he was never gone in the truest sense. He would not be the first if he were—folk who vanished and returned months later with memories intact. Sometimes without. More than being left behind, he hates the thought he might abandon the people he loves. Separated from them by force he can't prevent.

If there's a way to keep his foothold here, he'd take it.

For now, he isn't gone. Two days or a handful of seasons, he's more than willing to reclaim the parts of his life that exist in this sphere.

His eyes fall shut. The burning candles give off the faintest crackle to his ears; he can hear the whisper of silk and creak of leather together as she presses closer. Her hand still in his, he guides it down his stomach, lower. ]

Edited 2023-10-06 14:09 (UTC)

[ It is a blessing, because Julie does not know what she would do if he were actually gone. Let alone gone for a year or two, however long his dream was supposed to span. That would be true torture, worse than the isolation she endured in the wake of Captain Trips -- not just for him to disappear, but the not knowing whether he's coming back or if he'll even remember her.

But she does imagine that this experience is not unlike actually being gone. Like all those months were somehow added to the calendar between yesterday and today. And as far as Julie is concerned, that can be the same as real time passed, at least in this way. She doesn't need the excuse, but damned if she won't take it.

Even before he can lead her hand downward, she's opening the buttons of his trousers with the deft precision of her magical one. Her flesh fingers drag down his skin, outstretched as he maneuvers her. There's a hitch in her breath and a smoldering feeling in her veins; the warmth spreads inside her body when she grasps him, eyes flicking open to glance at his face. ]

[ The sensation is strange to be sure. There's a disorienting loss of time, but also a slew of memories that don't include the people he now knows should have been there. The visions are as much a part of his past as his future—never quite fitting into the present.

But the most important thing is that he's back. In whatever form that means. He feels right being here, home, reacquainting himself with the world he belongs in.

His other hand hovers by her shoulder for a second as her touch distracts him. He exhales sharply, then pulls her closer. He wants her. He wants to remember what it is to feel more than a grief so heavy that he couldn't breathe.

Her skin warms beneath his palm, the flush of her cheeks familiar. He studies her face, tracing her lips with his gaze before he kisses her again. ]

[ Her pupils are blown out when they meet his gaze, her lips slightly parted. His eyes are the color of amber in the dim light, and she feels like she could get trapped in them, like the universe's luckiest prehistoric mosquito. When he kisses her again, her nails dig into his back as her stomach flutters; never has she wanted anyone as consistently and desperately as she wants him.

Yes, this is right. The two of them, both together and separately, in this world. In this bed. They have both suffered enough to have earned this life, this contentment. And she will die again before she lets anything rob them of it.

He tugs her closer and she arches into him, her leg hooking over his and further tangling them up. A small noise escapes from somewhere deep in her chest, unarticulated desire that gets lost against his tongue as her grip on him tightens. Her head spins as she moves her other hand into his hair, clutches it between her fingers. ]

[ His eyes are fixed on hers, and he digs his teeth into his lip when her thumb strokes over his cock. He nearly doesn't bother getting out of his trousers, but he wants her skin against his—wants her burning heat to sink right into his bones. They tumble off the bed as soon as they're off, forgotten. A new mark sits layered over the old bite on his thigh, an uneven stitch down its length.

Then he's settling back on the pillows. His hand glides up her leg, hitching the thin fabric of her dress higher, palm curving around her backside.

Sometimes he likes to tease, but right now, he can't give a fuck. It isn't long before he lifts her up so she can sink down onto him. His hair twists in her grip, and he makes a breathless noise into the crook of her shoulder. ]

Let me hear you.

[ She doesn't notice the new scar, though she will later -- now, she's much more fixated on hungrily mouthing at his neck as she shifts to let him move around. He situates her atop him and she guides him inside immediately, seating herself with a sound that's between a purr and a whine.

For a moment, her eyes are squeezed tightly shut as she rocks into the fullness, her breath shuddering. Slowly, she straightens to sit upright; her spine stretches and curves when she peels her dress over her head like shedding skin, cast aside and forgotten as quickly as his trousers.

Julie's face splits into a smile, and when she speaks, it's between sharp gasps, her words slurring into each other. ] Hypocrite. I've never met any man talks less'n you.

[ Not that it stops her from pressing her hands into his chest, holding herself over him and rolling her hips at a clip. Her head hangs slightly, loosened strands of hair framing her face. Airy noises escape her chest in time, pants that are sometimes choking. ]

[ He gives a quiet laugh. His hands slide up either side of her ribs until he reaches the swell of her breasts. When he lifts up slightly, it's to kiss them—the curved underside, just above by her collarbone. His lips close around a nipple, teasing, before he murmurs against her. ]

I like your voice.

[ But it needn't be words; he likes her noises just as much. The way she clutches him when she groans his name.

His breath catches as she rocks into him. The bed creaks. He bumps his head at one point, but it barely registers. He's busy chasing the roll of her hips, the heat blooming low in his belly, heavy and dark. His blunt nails dig into her back, her shoulder; the soft candlelight dims as she fills his space and all of his senses. ]

[ She laughs too, her head already thrown back with her eyes closed. She doesn't bother to point out that it goes both ways -- he could read the instructions on the back of a microwave dinner and she'd still be able to drown a small sack of cats in her panties. But if there is one thing that Julie truly excels at, it's talking, so she can oblige.

Her fingers curl into his hair and she tugs it to turn his face up to her so she can kiss him deeply. When she pulls away, it's with his lip still between her teeth until she lets go and starts to murmur. Her voice is hushed, breathless and broken by whimpers that crack her words. ]

I want you to fuck me so hard that it never leaves your head, ever. You can go have however many dreams about the goddamn Continent, but I'll always be in there, in your fuckin' subconscious.

[ Her hands grab at his face, almost possessively, so close that he's out of focus. For a second, she presses her mouth to his, sloppily, then pushes him down to the bed. Her eyes shimmer black with hunger and intensity, her irises eclipsed by her pupils. ]

I wanna be in the back of your head, full of your cock, forever.

[ He grips her tighter, sinking into her desperate, sloppy kisses. He can almost believe she hasn't seen him for months, either, and perhaps buried deep in that place he'll never admit, a part of him looks for that. Someone who wants him so fully. Who will be there when he returns from the places she cannot follow.

He's not thinking about his dreams right now. He's thinking about Julie's hands in his hair, the erratic stutter between her words, as if she can't hardly gather her thoughts, as if being near him unravels her to the core.

She shoves him, and he lets her. He hits the pillows, arching against her. The friction sends sparks up his spine. His eyes are bright, the low rumble in his chest dark. ]

You've been there. [ She has. (Head and heart.) For a while now.

Her breath caresses his jaw. He fucks her as hard as she's demanding, fingers tightening around her wrist. Tension winds through his body. ]

[ It is a new experience for her, as well, to need someone so much. If asked even a year ago, she would have said she was incapable of feeling the way she does. There was no fairytale spark when they first met, no moment of love at first sight between them. She's not sure when it happened or what the catalyst was -- perhaps the nightmare they'd been forced to share -- but somewhere along the line, it all became. More. So much more.

Now, the strength of her feelings hits her like a tsunami every time she sees him, thinks of him. Sometimes it actually hurts, how tight her chest seems to squeeze. He affects her on a level too base for her to even try to reason with, which drives her absolutely mad. Like he has a cheat code to her body that she can't override.

The arm she's propped on trembles next to his head, losing the strength to keep holding her up. Her voice is little more than a hiss, stuck somewhere in her throat. It's fine; she is quickly passing the point of coherence anyway. ] Forever.

[ All she can do is repeat herself, another searing kiss as if to seal the thought. Her back bows and she abruptly pulls away from his mouth, crying out wordlessly as the levee breaks and rushes through her muscles. Eyes squeezed shut, head drops, and she wails against his shoulder before she bites down, trying to ground herself from the relentless waves of his continued movements. ]

[ He's not sure he hears her anymore; it all melds into an endless buzzing that fills his head. He can't pick apart her heartbeat from her breaths, and his own tangle up with hers.

His arms wind around her when she sinks against him. Her skin burns against his, and he can feel the tremors in her body. A low snarl escapes his throat. He grips her too tightly when he spills inside her not long after, a ceaseless cresting wave that doesn't subside until he finally catches his breath.

For a few minutes, he lays there. He closes his eyes, a hand in her hair as he draws one leg up, the edge of the sheets slipping off his hip. The wind gusting outside the windows swells in the silence. ]

[ His hold on her loosens; she'd barely noticed how hard it was to begin with, though she'll probably end up with a few light, finger-shaped bruises in the morning. She wilts and sags against him, still shuddering and softly panting. Her head turns and her cheek rests on his collarbone, her breath hot in the small gap between her face and his neck.

In the quiet, her heartbeat slows back to a normal pace. Her limbs feel like jelly, heavy and unstable. When she manages to force herself to roll slightly to the side, it's like only her hips and legs get the message, leaving her still half-draped over him. One hand lies on his chest, thumb absently moving back and forth on his skin. ]

What happened? [ She's barely murmuring, the words thick in her throat. Jaskier gave her some very broad strokes, but it made little sense. ] In your dream?

[ It wasn't really a dream, she knows that. Dreams don't leave scars. But she doesn't have a better word. ]

[ He opens his eyes again. His fingers twist gently through her hair. Where does he start? A lot is the answer, but much of it occurred at Thanedd. And he doesn't know how to even begin to explain the chaos that erupted on the island.

He rolls over to face her, sitting through the memories. For him, despite the subterfuge and endless betrayals, the events that led him to Aretuza are much more personal. ]

When the war caught up to the rest of the north, I hid Ciri from the world so she would be safe. Then they started taking other girls in her place. Experimenting on and mutating them. I couldn't...just stand by.

[ He would do anything to protect his daughter, but to allow that to go unchecked for her sake is something else entirely. Ciri would not have stood for it, either. They both knew what needed to be done. ]

The mage behind it—I don't know. I've never confronted anyone like him.

[ Mages can be troublesome in their own way, but there are limits to their magic. Balancing their Chaos in combat is a delicate exercise. Vilgefortz had no such constraints. His magic made it impossible to disarm him, and he seemed to have an endless well of it. Maybe that's what won't leave his mind. The simple fact that he hasn't any idea what he could've done differently. Except, perhaps, taken Ciri and run. ]

[ She turns on her side, tucking a pillow under her head to watch him. As she listens, her brow knits deeper and deeper, and she knows there's context she's missing. She knows Ciri is a princess, and she knows Ciri has incredibly unique, powerful abilities. But mutation? ]

I don't understand, experimentin' for what? [ She is visibly appalled, as much as she had been by hearing about what they did to make Witchers. But that's not what Ciri is. ] Wasn't Ciri born the way she is? They think they can just... make another her?

[ Julie is struggling to rein in the disgust this development stirs in her. It's not hers to feel, it's in a world she will likely never see. Her feelings do nothing except weigh everyone here down.

But there's a special circle in Hell just for this kind of shit.

She makes herself focus on him instead, her eyes wide and searching his face. It is a bit disarming, to hear the doubt in his voice. Geralt is someone Julie trusts entirely in a fight, at least against a single other person; it's hard for her to imagine someone powerful enough to defeat him in such a way. She doesn't want him to bring that doubt and carry it here in Abraxas. ]

I'm sorry. That you had to go through that. [ Gently, she touches his cheek. She really is sorry, in that sympathetic sort of way. Seeing him in pain, emotional or physical, is its own sort of heartache. ] We're gonna figure it out, how to make Abraxas stick to us. You'll never have to go back for real.

[ Not that she thinks it wasn't real. It both was and wasn't, she thinks. Two timelines, two Geralts, and the other one is bleeding over in dreams. Maybe if they learn how to tie themselves to Abraxas permanently, the dreams will stop. ]

[ Slowly, Geralt shakes his head. He hasn't got an answer for himself, either. Ciri is as much a playing piece as her abilities. Her status gives any kingdom legitimacy and further allies, but he cannot say whether those implanted memories were an effort to extract information or what. At the time, he didn't need to know. His focus was on finding who was behind it and ending it before more girls were taken. Questions could come after.

Perhaps he's always been a little shortsighted in that sense.

His attention returns to Julie. He relaxes a hint, exhaling softly. He wants her to know the truth, but he has no wish to burden her with this shit. He's seen how hard Jaskier took it.

He takes her hand, reassuring. ] I got back on my feet.

[ It's what he does. Though there was, for the first time, moments where he was not sure if he cared to try.

Anchoring themselves to this sphere—what would it cost? If it were possible? He just wants to know he won't wake up one day without the people he loves. Or worse, having left them behind. He cannot fathom being torn away. Not after everything. ]

I won't lose Ciri again. [ Once was too much. ]

I know. Everything is okay.

[ She laces her fingers through his and squeezes his hand. He did get back on his feet, and ultimately, that has to be what they focus on. The mage who did this isn't here, according to Jaskier, so he is nothing for her to waste her energy on.

There must be a way to cement their place in Abraxas. Julie has never exactly studied the subject, but she has theories. Very, very loose ones, but theories nonetheless. She simply doesn't share them with people better equipped to investigate, mostly because she fears that she will accidentally expose herself. ]

Gee, thanks, love you too, honey. [ Her voice is dry, clearly taking the piss. Julie is perfectly accepting of Ciri being the sun that his world revolves around, but it's a little thoughtless to make a point of it while she's still got his spend drying on her thighs. She's not irritated about it, though -- he's a man, and everyone knows they're only capable of one thought at a time. ]

[ A small smile tilts his lips. He didn't mean it like that and he knows she knows, though it's true he hasn't really thought of anybody except Ciri for weeks. Nothing mattered once she was gone. In a way, parts of him are still there. As though it's been only a day since he found her again even if he knows they were never separated here.

He squeezes Julie's hand. ] You won't lose me, either.

[ She's so wrapped up in the Singularity, he isn't sure she could ever be taken out of this sphere, but his foothold feels especially tenuous after last night. He doesn't want to abandon her. She'd taken it hard when Lloyd disappeared, and though he's aware it isn't the same—they don't share a history before Abraxas—it's just...he promised to be there when she needs him. And he hates the thought that he might not be because of something so fucking far out of his control.

It's not a cloud he wants to hang over them. So he kisses her, eyes fluttering shut for a moment, and keeps her close. ]

I know. ‘Cause I’ll come right after and hunt your ass down.

[ She smiles widely, smugly, kissing him back with a soft sigh. It’s so much easier to joke about it all, but the reality is that she would sacrifice herself to chase him to another world if she has to.

Losing Lloyd almost broke her, and she barely even liked him most days. Losing Geralt would catapult her straight into the insanity of trying to follow him.

After a moment, she cuddles up against him and then turns over, her back pressed to his chest. She still clutches his hand possessively to herself, their arms twisted together and draped over her waist. Raising the arm under herself slightly, her hand glows and the candles snuff themselves out. The balls of light flicker out of existence. The curtains waft with the autumn desert breeze, only barely cool.

As she drifts off, she keeps hold of his hand, ]

[ CLOSED ] just look across and see

nsfw.

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wrap?