abraxaslogs | Some days I look in mirrors

Entry tags:

Some days I look in mirrors

Who: Claire Fraser, ota and closed starters
When: October log
Where: Solvunn, Nocwich, the Horizon
Notes: I went with handwaving Claire's finished home, it's been too long now, BUT if your character would've helped then they did! ~~also please ignore the fact that I accidentally tagged this with Adora.~~
Warnings: None so far, will edit if needed. And brackets, prose - go with your heart.

𝑆𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑢𝑛𝑛

[ Claire's new home is tucked just short of the woods. Her gratitude for the help she received has been expressed in simple but filling meals, baked goods, doctoring, and helping with most chores. She's realized with a home of her own she must be settling, but she tells herself it's more to have her own space and feel comfortable. The home is two stories with her small bedroom upstairs that contains the space she works and spends the most of her time. One of the walls is completely plant-filled, and somewhere nestled in comfortably, is her new lizard. The downstairs has a kitchen with a hearth, and a built-in nook to sit and eat on one side. With a small sitting area made up of donated furniture, the other side of the downstairs is for seeing anyone who needs intense care and looking after, or drop-ins needing some sort of treatment.

Anyone dropping in is welcome and will not only be assaulted by plants and wildflowers in abundance, but bees will buzz lazily and drunk on nectar before flying back to their homes. They're tucked back just a bit, but the bee houses, lovingly painted by Nanaue, are bright and visible. She's left the back wall on the bottom floor windowless so that her friend can paint to his heart's content. When visitors arrive, the door is opened with a smile in greeting, able to see who's approaching from the front window.

Even though she has her own home now, she still makes sure to contribute, helping with cooking communal meals which helps her meet newcomers, and taking care of the animals which reminds her of Jamie. It all keeps her busy, and she can't say she doesn't like it. She still visits with the local Solvunnites she's grown fond of, and there are a few children she plays with outside with no shame in how silly she looks. ]

(𝑡ℎ𝑒) 𝐻𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑧𝑜𝑛

[ Gone is Lallybroch from Claire's domain. She'd been thinking of changing it anyway, but something very large managed to take out most of it during the rifts. That makes it easier to change things, though it's still rustic and full of flora. There's still plenty of space for her to entertain outside, and around back is where anyone can come for human anatomy lessons. Separate from that, there's a garden and greenhouse so that she can both learn and teach about different plants. It's a place for her experiment too, trying out her magic without accidentally causing damage to real plants in her home.

Anyone heading inside will be met with comfortable warmth, more plants, and a gray cat that doesn't seem bothered by much. There's always a setup for tea or coffee and something stronger if wanted, along with furniture meant for sinking into a good book.

She does like to explore other's domains, but if it seems closed off, she won't poke around...much. ]

𝑁𝑜𝑐𝑤𝑖𝑐ℎ

[ Claire has come to enjoy the walk to the portal, and if anyone happens to be heading out as well, they're happy to join her. She's dressed for the cooler air, pendant hanging just below her throat and basket in hand. In the square, she can be found purchasing things like flour and other cooking items for her own simple kitchen. Claire even picks up a trinket or two for friends, stowing different things beneath her goods in case she happens upon someone. Because she's rubbish at knitting, she can also be found weaving in and out of different shops to browse mittens and cowls.

When she rests the first time at mid-day, it's near the stage with a drink in hand. Every now and then she looks around the crowd as if searching for someone and in truth, she is. This is her only chance to look for Jamie or Bree, and she takes it each and every month. Eventually, she continues her day and when she's ready for supper, slips into an establishment, finding a seat at a table that could fit two. And a lucky thing too, as she's managed to come in at the height of mealtime, apparently. Anyone is free to join her.

With her basket on the ground between her right foot and the wall, she sits back and thinks of a friend or two she wouldn't mind joining her, almost feeling as though they're near, while leisurely eating her meal.* It only makes her think that she must check up on others soon, especially those she hasn't spoken to since the rifts. ]

[ *ooc note: Claire is able to determine someone's location to her within about 120 yards. (Think the length of an American football field), so if you want her to be surprised because she was literally just thinking you were on your way, lmk in the subject! ]

𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑

[ If none of these work, please feel free to whip up a starter! We can plot on discord @ lifewasawillow or PM. My plotting comment from the last CR meme can be found here. If I owe you a starter and I haven't poked you, please poke me! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kelson was still trying to get used to Nocwich. He liked the idea, neutral territory and all that. He understood the different factions, but, while magic was not something that was in any way foreign to him, such creatures were. And then there was the whole night time thing. It just seemed unnatural. Probably odd for someone who had blotted out the sun himself once. But, the young king was a hypocrite. And of course, a teenager.

He had poked around shops half heartedly, but mostly kept an eye out for anyone he might know from home, his mind and eyes casting wearily about every now and then. He hadn't expected to see anyone in Thorne. If they had any control over who they summoned -- and that, Kelson thought, was iffy at best-- he doubted they'd try anyone else from home. He hadn't exactly been playing nice. That didn't mean that the other territories wouldn't have better luck.

Ducking in to find a free table around mealtime, which seemed to be in rather short supply, he found one near a woman. She looked around the age of his own mother, or a perhaps little older? It was hard to tell, his own mother looked far older than she actually was. He gave her a slight nod and indicated at the empty seat.

"Is anyone sitting here?"

He hoped he wasn't interrupting, which, to be quite honest, was a bit of a foreign concept for him. It was hard to interrupt when you were usually the center of attention. He gave her an awkward smile, looking around in case he needed to find another seat.

His accent was not entirely unlike hers, although tinged with a bit of welsh, his black hair pulled back in a four strand braid doubled back in on itself.

One of the most beneficial consequences of her upbringing has been being one to new experiences and new people, no matter where she is. The young man is greeted with a warm smile, and she gestures at the seat across from her.

"Please, feel free. I'm shocked no one asked prior to you, it's pretty full." Glancing him over, he seems to be about Brianna's age, she would peg him as a student, but appearances can be deceiving, she's learned. She also realizes they've never met, or at least, not in person that she can remember. Who knows about the messages in her mind, she can hardly keep track sometimes.

"My name is Claire, so you know who you're sitting down with." She's learned not everyone enjoys (or even understands) shaking hands, so she simply nods her head in greeting, smile still in place.

"It's lovely to meet you Claire. I'm Kelson." He was still figuring everything out and thus, had to ask. "Are you a native here or one of the Summoned?" For all he knew she was a werewolf or something. Could be, right? And he had learned the hard way not to go...poking around in peoples minds without permission. Apparently, it was rude. Honestly though, that was the easier way of doing thing.

He took the empty seat across from her, looking around at how full it was. He hadn't quite expected it, but he hadn't been here long and had only recently discovered Nocwich.

"Are you here exploring? Shopping? Trying to whittle down the time?" Kelson wasn't sure what to expect of Claire. She seemed educated, well spoken, well mannered. But didn't seem to have the same qualities he'd expect from a duchess or the like. Not quite common born either. Well, there were certainly other societies and worlds people had come from, and he hadn't been acquainted with all of them yet.

"Not a native," she says with an understanding smile. Then, she points to the sigil on her shoulder. "I'm a Summond, you can tell us apart because all of us have a sigil. 'The Empress' for me." Her speech is educated and she's well-spoken; she would be considered a highborn in some places, and she technically is a Lady. Or was, in any case. Now she lives in the backwoods of North Carolina. She isn't sure if being married to John means she's a Lady once more— She'll have to ask.

"I like to take the opportunity to come to Nocwich and shop, or trade if I can, for things that we don't have in Solvunn. And it's getting cooler, so I thought a few warm things might be nice. How long has it been since you arrived?" she asks before taking a bite of her meal and wiping her mouth with a napkin.

She's curious about the people she meets, it's one of the things she's actually enjoyed about being in Abraxas. She offers him her plate of bread while she waits on his answer, pushing it gently across the table.

Considering her current....situation with John, Kelson would have agreed she was now considered a Lady again. He himself would have been more than happy to remedy the situation if they weren't, if he had any power here. He took some of the bread she offered gratefully.

"A month, maybe two? It feels as if it all blurs together honestly, without any of the normal markers for time I'm used too." Maybe Claire had been here for longer? Or maybe Kelson was just having a hard time adjusting. Or refusing to adjust. It seemed to him like she had settled in quite nicely. Or had an amazing facade up. Time would tell which was which.

Kelson noted the sigil, remembering. The Empress. He wasn't entirely sure what it stood for but he was guessing it was probably a bit better than the Tower. He smiled smally at her, still getting his sea legs so to speak. "I take it you're not actually an Empress." Just in case? The Devil turned out to be the actual Devil so.....

"You seem like you're enjoying it here. Have you been here long then?" It was a statement as well as a question, from someone a lot younger, who was having trouble letting go of his previous life and adjusting to his....limited responsibilities here.

"I'm most definitely not," she replies with an amused laugh. "I live in Solvunn and keep bees, and like you pointed out, time blurs together. But I've been keeping a journal, so by notes, it's been eight months. Longer than I had any intention of staying, I'll tell you that."

Taking a drink, she settles in for a conversation she doesn't mind and has had before: helping others when the landscape is unfamiliar. "I enjoy my time here begrudgingly. I have to admit I've made friends I never would have, and I've experienced things that I believe in my world would be called miracles. But I miss my husband and my daughter, and I would rather go home than have them come here." Especially her daughter. She saw too much with the pit, and then all of the injuries with the rifts—no. Better that Bree never arrive at all.

"As much as it would sadden me to leave the people here, I have a life I want and need to get back to. I just don't believe in moping and being dull until then."

"Solvunn, so that's why I haven't seen you around Thorne," he gave her a small smile as to his absolute brilliance. "I hadn't thought to keep a journal, but you're right, it's a good way to keep track of the time, and your own thoughts." He wasn't sure how he felt about leaving a written record of his thoughts around Thorne though. While he wouldn't have given orders to go through his...honorable guests personal items on a whim, he would keep them under close guard. Thorne was already doing that. And they seemed distinctly more paranoid than he was.

"I imagine you quite miss your husband and daughter. Do you think they'll be alright?" The thought of everyone he left behind terrified Kelson. He had left his kingdom not exactly in the best position.

"I quite agree. I have a life and a kingdom of my own I need to get back too. Although our honorable captives do not seem like the type to just let us leave." He did however, not agree about not moping. Moping was a special skill he had inherited from his mother.

"That would be why," she says with a small nod of confirmation. "I'm used to keeping a daily log of some sort, it's been a habit of mine since I was a child. Granted, I lost track somewhere in the middle of my life, but it's been good to get back to it."

She would encourage, especially here where time can feel as though it's all bleeding together.

"I do miss them and I always worry; as far as I know they're both doing fine ten years on. A friend from home arrived, but he's from a decade ahead of me. That helps, to know they're both alive and well." 'Well' being relative, since she isn't sure the status of her marriage with Jamie. That's a problem for ten years from now.

"Are you a royal or do you serve in a court?" she asks, curiously. "Either way, it must feel odd to be in a kingdom that isn't ruled by a familiar monarchy."

"You're not worried about what might happen if someone was to see it? About malicious intent?" He was sure her private thoughts weren't completely scandalous but, he'd grown up under the assumption that everyone was out to get him. And that had been. It wasn't paranoia if you were right.

"King of Gwynedd. It's quite odd to be in a kingdom where I have very little say, nor do am I the least bit familiar with them. It's frustrating to see the problems and not be able to fix them." There were upsides of course, here, no one expected anything of him. He could relax, do whatever he wanted.

He hated it.

"I suppose that helps with the worry a bit then. Knowing everyone is alright in the future. How old is your daughter?"

"During certain periods of my life, my husband and I wrote in code," she confirms. "But here, I haven't had a reason to. Not yet, anyway. Should I found myself a spy and a traitor to Solvunn, then I suppose we'll have to revisit the topic."

She manages a small smile; that won't happen, at least as far as she can tell. Solvunn is docile, and if anything, she can see someone wanting to move away from Thorne because of the rumors she's heard regarding spying on behalf of the monarchy.

"'Gwynedd,' I'm afraid I'm not familiar, but I think for a lot of us, that's the case when it comes to our homes. Which makes for good stories and opportunities to learn new things." Claire is That Nerd, and she has no problems leaning into it. "I'm doing my best to learn about Solvunn, to try and better understand the tension between factions, how it all originated and who the original settlers were. We'll see where that goes. I'm sure there are ways to help in the pockets of Thorne that need it?"

She isn't sure, because she isn't as familiar. Smiling at his question, she pauses when the second part of her meal arrives, and it's a bit too much for her. There appear to be two different kinds of meat, vegetables, and a sort of buttery sauce to cover it all. "Would you care to have some of this as well? I'm not sure my stomach is as big as my eyes." She could take the rest home, but she eats communally and can't store leftovers anyway, so she'd rather share.

Whatever his answer is, she answers his question afterward, circling back. "My daughter, she's twenty," Claire informs him with a smile.

Kelson could definitely vouch for Thorne not being remotely docile, and the spying? Well he personally thought that if the monarchy wanted to know something they could be a little less obvious about it. Then again, maybe he saw things differently, having used the exact same tactics.

"You're happy in Solvunn? Or....content?" He seemed actually surprised. "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm unhappy in Thorne," he said ever so carefully, "but, it's not home. And you are away from your family." No, he absolutely wasn't contemplating treason, what ever gave anyone that idea? And it totally wasn't the notion that he could do everything better! Surely not.

As for learning, Kelson was also that kind of nerd. He practically lit up at her trying to decipher the history. "I've been trying to learn the same thing, the history of the monarchy, how and why certain.....decisions were made. The history between all this tension. I'm sure there are ways to help certain portions of Thorne, but I confess it's a kind of skill I'm not used to exercising. " Was it different because he thought it was different, or was it actually different? Was he not used to thinking on a smaller level, or was it just that he lacked a council of advisors and the experience that comes with age?

"Oh, thank you," Kelson helped himself to a bit of the meat and vegetables, trying not to twitch out of pure habit at the age of her daughter. She wasn't here, and Claire was most definitely not offering. For all he knew, she was already married. Please be already married.

"I'm sure it's hard being away from everyone. I do hope you and your family are reunited swiftly." And he would quite like to go back to his kingdom, thank you very much. Even if it meant dodging every woman of possible marriageable age being thrown at him. He was getting quite good at it.

"I am content, but it would be incorrect if anyone assumed that meant I was glad to be here. I'm happy to meet others, it's interesting to be exposed to things I never knew existed. But if a door opened tomorrow to go home, with apologies to the friends I've made, I wouldn't hesitate to leave."

She misses Jamie terribly, and she'd rather leave here than see him in Nocwich one day, or eating at the communal table while she's serving food.

"I've lived in places temporarily that needed help, from small things like wanting socks or a blanket when it's cold, to people who need new housing. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture to help someone. Sometimes the things others are the most grateful for can seem so simple. Don't overthink it, is my advice."

She's happy to share her meal with him seeing as there's plenty, and for a moment she eats in content quiet before speaking up again after wiping her mouth.

"Do you have anyone you would be happy to see here? Not because I think we would wish this on anyone we care for, but because it would help to see a familiar face."

"You know, you're the first person I've met who has said that to me. Maybe they're all from worlds and people they wish to escape from. Maybe they're lying to me or themselves. But, thank you. I think I needed to hear that."

That it was okay not to be happy here. Not to be happy in a place that was not and would never be your home. Or your family. "We all left people behind, people and places we care about." What did it say that Claire might have been the first real honest person he'd met. Or maybe she'd just had enough life experiences that she could recognize differences more easily?

And her advice? Don't overthink. She'd known him for a whole five minutes and already had him down pat. That was his problem. He over thought everything. He blushed softly. "Thank you. I do to tend to get too much into my own head. Everything get's bogged down and more complicated the more I think about it."

Kelson smiles and picks at the food at bit, grateful for the offer to share. "I haven't seen anyone from home but, there are definitely those I miss. My general and most trusted advisor, Alaric Morgan. He taught me, well he taught me everything. I'm not used to being without his advice. Or my blood brother. Dhugal MacArdry. We had lost contact for a while, our fathers were ever so thrilled to find we had sworn a blood oath at a whole 6 years of age and then promptly separated us. They were absolutely furious." Kelson laughed. " I think we were a bit of a terror together. Still are.

What about you? Do you have anyone you long to see?"

Claire has been in too many situations she tried to fight, tried to change, tried to force to her liking. It never worked, it made things worse, and keeping track of lies was so exhausting. What she's leaned into here is not letting herself fight a battle she won't win alone. They'll have to work together, between factions, and it's slow going. As long as it takes, she'll be part of the effort to leave, whatever she can do to help.

That doesn't mean she can't enjoy herself in the meantime. As he speaks of home and the people he misses her smile brightens, though if he's looking at her face, he might see a flicker of distate cross her features at the name Dhugal, which to her is a name she'd rather never hear again if she can help it. Still, it's no fault of the young man's and so her smile is present again within seconds.

"A lot of this can be...overwhelming, to say the absolute least. I don't blame you for being in your head about things. Just as long as you come out every so often and let someone in on what you're thinking, hmm?" Her smile warms into something motherly, before she takes a few bites as he asks her who she misses.

"I know Jamie would be capable here, and seeing my husband again would be a breath of fresh air. We were separated for twenty years before being reunited again for less than two years before I arrived here. We've hardly made up for lost time, but he would get on here just fine. Better, I suspect than even his homeland, for all the laws banning his way of life." Maybe less so now that some of the restrictions are loosening, but too little, too late. An entire way of life has been lost, and Jamie still wouldn't be allowed to wear his tartan. Here, he could be everything he'd ever wanted to be, including, possibly, a leader. But that's a pipe dream, she knows by now.

"I do have someone here I care for in Thorne, Lord John Gray. He knows me a fair bit better than I know him because he's from so far in my future, but we've become quite close." There's no one else she'd wish to see, even as badly as she misses all of the kids, she would never want them here.

Kelson caught his breath, pausing in mid bite to look up at her, shocked by the circumstances that had forced her apart from Jamie. He put the food down to regard her more fully, take in all the details. "Twenty years? You were separated for twenty years." He repeated, because that was horrid. He could guess as to what any of the circumstances causing such could be, of course, he'd be wrong about all of them.

He got a little grumpy too. "In the past Gwynedd had similar laws, banning an entire way of life. An entire people. I cannot say it ends well, and I am still trying to repair the damage. I do hope that his homeland is capable of one day doing the same. There is so much that has been lost, so much irrecoverable." He was still going to try though. Hopefully it wasn't going to get him killed.

"I have met John, he seems quite a nice fellow. It must be difficult to be so far away from him as well, to have someone you know just out of reach."

"If you can believe it, John is my third husband, but with him so far in my future, that was certainly a shock. We do our best with my getting to know him. He's a patient man, and he makes a wonderful friend if you'd like another."

Her life, if Will can stand to know a bit more, is complicated. If she'd arrived with her things he would have seen two wedding rings, one on each hand. Soon she'll have a third, so it's a good thing on Abraxas, both hands are free.

"One day, laws will change and what was outlawed will be repealed, but the damage is done, and a generation was raised without any tradition. I'm glad you're fighting for it back home. It isn't easy."

"From what I've seen of him John is a lovely person. I'm sure he is an equally devoted husband, and I'm gladdened you at least have him with you here. It must be reassuring to see a familiar face, even if you weren't aware of the future you held together." Kelson would give a lot to have such a familiar face. He was happy she had the opportunity, even if it was across nations.

Likewise, if Kelson had arrived with all of his things, he would have also been wearing two wedding rings; his own, and that of his murdered wife. At least for him, it was a blessing he didn't have it.

"The day cannot come soon enough for both of us I fear. In my kingdom, some traditions have been repressed for hundreds of years. There are so many who don't know who they are, or what they are. The least I can do is try to change the laws. I know I can't undo the damage that has been done, but, I can try and repair it at least. I hope back home you are able to do the same. "

So much of his story feels familiar to her, and Claire listens closely, distressed on his behalf because she understands how such things go. Life wiped away, families separated only to be killed, and history rewritten by the aggressors. It's such a daunting thing to try and reverse, but that he's attempting to right the wrongs of others says more about Kelson than words ever could.

"It's difficult; I know what's coming once I return home. I know that there will be a revolution that benefits some over others, and more death. I know people will be forced from their native homes and onto land that's unfamiliar to them which will cause hunger and disease. I know all of this, and yet as one person, I failed to stop it happening in one country already."

She's nearly certain that some things can't be changed, that they're too big, too life-altering, to attempt to erase from history.

"I fear all that I can do is attempt to mitigate the damage and be a doctor where I can."

"One person only has so much power, Claire. Even as king, I can make laws, I can try and save what lives I can, to right the wrongs done in the past. But there are limits. Lives that are forever intertwined, and each decision a cascade. It's like a game of chess. Sometimes I do think you're right, the best we can hope for is to mitigate the damage. But at the very least, we can try. Move our own pieces the best we can. Some actions may still be forced to take place, but maybe in a more controlled manner. I know I wont be able to overturn every law I want to tomorrow, if I were home. But, I can start the process. Slow and steady. We do what we can."

Kelson thought he understood, the similarities were there. He knew the atrocities that had been dealt in Gwynedd over the centuries, and the ones that he had only found out still went on under his nose. And Claire, she did not have the same power he did, the same reach. But she was resourceful. She cared.

Even now, decades after her failure, it helps to hear someone say these things. Especially someone with more power than she could ever imagine possessing. If he can't completely change things, what chance did she ever have? Going up against time was a fool's errand, she knows that now.

"I quite like you, Kelson. Without knowing it, you've said a few things that ease old aches." She offers a small but warm smile filled with gratitude. "And to circle back, that's one of the things I've found to occupy my time here. There are plenty of people in need, who need help in different ways. If I'm going to be stuck, I might as well be useful."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Some days I look in mirrors

Nocwich

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

<3 I am so sorry!

my turn to apologize 😅

<3 no worries!

no subject

no subject

my slowness, please forgive me! I adore this thread so much

Sorry! <3 Will is eating Kelson's muse so bad

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject