abraxaslogs | Some days I look in mirrors

Entry tags:

Some days I look in mirrors

Who: Claire Fraser, ota and closed starters
When: October log
Where: Solvunn, Nocwich, the Horizon
Notes: I went with handwaving Claire's finished home, it's been too long now, BUT if your character would've helped then they did! ~~also please ignore the fact that I accidentally tagged this with Adora.~~
Warnings: None so far, will edit if needed. And brackets, prose - go with your heart.

𝑆𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑢𝑛𝑛

[ Claire's new home is tucked just short of the woods. Her gratitude for the help she received has been expressed in simple but filling meals, baked goods, doctoring, and helping with most chores. She's realized with a home of her own she must be settling, but she tells herself it's more to have her own space and feel comfortable. The home is two stories with her small bedroom upstairs that contains the space she works and spends the most of her time. One of the walls is completely plant-filled, and somewhere nestled in comfortably, is her new lizard. The downstairs has a kitchen with a hearth, and a built-in nook to sit and eat on one side. With a small sitting area made up of donated furniture, the other side of the downstairs is for seeing anyone who needs intense care and looking after, or drop-ins needing some sort of treatment.

Anyone dropping in is welcome and will not only be assaulted by plants and wildflowers in abundance, but bees will buzz lazily and drunk on nectar before flying back to their homes. They're tucked back just a bit, but the bee houses, lovingly painted by Nanaue, are bright and visible. She's left the back wall on the bottom floor windowless so that her friend can paint to his heart's content. When visitors arrive, the door is opened with a smile in greeting, able to see who's approaching from the front window.

Even though she has her own home now, she still makes sure to contribute, helping with cooking communal meals which helps her meet newcomers, and taking care of the animals which reminds her of Jamie. It all keeps her busy, and she can't say she doesn't like it. She still visits with the local Solvunnites she's grown fond of, and there are a few children she plays with outside with no shame in how silly she looks. ]

(𝑡ℎ𝑒) 𝐻𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑧𝑜𝑛

[ Gone is Lallybroch from Claire's domain. She'd been thinking of changing it anyway, but something very large managed to take out most of it during the rifts. That makes it easier to change things, though it's still rustic and full of flora. There's still plenty of space for her to entertain outside, and around back is where anyone can come for human anatomy lessons. Separate from that, there's a garden and greenhouse so that she can both learn and teach about different plants. It's a place for her experiment too, trying out her magic without accidentally causing damage to real plants in her home.

Anyone heading inside will be met with comfortable warmth, more plants, and a gray cat that doesn't seem bothered by much. There's always a setup for tea or coffee and something stronger if wanted, along with furniture meant for sinking into a good book.

She does like to explore other's domains, but if it seems closed off, she won't poke around...much. ]

𝑁𝑜𝑐𝑤𝑖𝑐ℎ

[ Claire has come to enjoy the walk to the portal, and if anyone happens to be heading out as well, they're happy to join her. She's dressed for the cooler air, pendant hanging just below her throat and basket in hand. In the square, she can be found purchasing things like flour and other cooking items for her own simple kitchen. Claire even picks up a trinket or two for friends, stowing different things beneath her goods in case she happens upon someone. Because she's rubbish at knitting, she can also be found weaving in and out of different shops to browse mittens and cowls.

When she rests the first time at mid-day, it's near the stage with a drink in hand. Every now and then she looks around the crowd as if searching for someone and in truth, she is. This is her only chance to look for Jamie or Bree, and she takes it each and every month. Eventually, she continues her day and when she's ready for supper, slips into an establishment, finding a seat at a table that could fit two. And a lucky thing too, as she's managed to come in at the height of mealtime, apparently. Anyone is free to join her.

With her basket on the ground between her right foot and the wall, she sits back and thinks of a friend or two she wouldn't mind joining her, almost feeling as though they're near, while leisurely eating her meal.* It only makes her think that she must check up on others soon, especially those she hasn't spoken to since the rifts. ]

[ *ooc note: Claire is able to determine someone's location to her within about 120 yards. (Think the length of an American football field), so if you want her to be surprised because she was literally just thinking you were on your way, lmk in the subject! ]

𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑

[ If none of these work, please feel free to whip up a starter! We can plot on discord @ lifewasawillow or PM. My plotting comment from the last CR meme can be found here. If I owe you a starter and I haven't poked you, please poke me! ]

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Which lot?

[ Gardeners? People who live to be prepared? But then his words strike a chord, and she wonders how he can say that with such confidence. She isn't sure others have noticed her quietly making a stockpile of supplies, and that's alright. But the Doctor sounds so sure that for a moment, she's deeply glad she's doing it. The gratitude is there in her eyes, even if the words are stuck in her throat. Clearing it, she soldiers on. ]

As for how long I've been here, it will nearly be a year come February, and that isn't too far down the road. The last eight months have seemed to go by quickly, I can't imagine it feeling any differently now.

Humans, naturally.

[ As if she should just...know. But really, he is quite proud of her ingenuity and forward-thinking. It's clear from their few interactions already that she has a kind heart, thinking of others, doing what she can to better everything around them. ]

What have you left behind? [ A bold question, perhaps, but that's his nature. ]

[ That makes her laugh, and though she's met many non-humans, they mostly look, well, non-human. But the Doctor doesn't, he looks like any other person, and she's amused because she doesn't understand. ]

You don't include yourself in that? Have you done something worth ex-communicating from the species?

[ He asks what she's left behind which makes her sober a bit, and her smile dims but is still present, a little wistfully. ]

My family is waiting for me, like many of us here I suspect. [ Even if no one will realize she's gone, she misses them, and she's waiting; either to go home or spot a Fraser here in Abraxas. ] You?

Oh no, no, but I look it, I know. Time Lord, actually. We look human, but we came first.

[ Don't ask more questions, don't ask more questions, don't ask more questions, don't ask more questions... ]

For me, I'm missing my ship, the TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space. We travel across the stars, backwards, forwards, and sideways in time.

[ Claire raises an eyebrow and decides she shouldn't be surprised, so the eyebrow goes back down and her arms hang down at her sides casually. ]

Well, I can't say I've traveled sideways or across the stars, but backwards and forwards I seem to have down pretty well.

[ As for asking questions, she surprises herself by not having as many as she thought she would. Has being in Abraxas softened her to the oddness? She's close with a man shark and has gotten to know a talking raccoon. A man who claims not to be human isn't startling her as much as it might once have. ]

Is your physiology different? I mean, I don't want to presume, but as a doctor, I can't help but ask the invasive questions first.

Claire Fraser. [ One might think he's offended for a moment with the use of her full name, but it's the opposite. He's delighted. ]

I do love questions! Keep them coming.

[ The more invasive, the better in his mind. Well, to a point. He does have a threshold. Secrets. Things he won't give up easily. But this, this is what he likes best. ]

Two hearts, respiratory bypass system. Nearly everything else is similar.

[ Except regeneration, but it hardly seems worth mentioning now since he can't regenerate anymore. ]

But you! Time traveller? How, exactly?

Respiratory bypass! Aren't you the lucky one.

[ She means it, take it from someone who was drowning when she arrived on this planet, no need for breathing would've been a boon. ]

Two hearts, means two circulatory systems at least. [ She has no reason to question whether or not he's telling the truth. Why wouldn't he be? With the] Do you bleed heavily when you're hurt?

I've only learned how I time traveled by being here. Apparently, I more than likely went through a portal between my time and a time two hundred years in the past.

On occasion, yes.

[ Which question that's in response to remains to be seen, and he doesn't bother to clarify further. ]

A portal — well, that's new for me, or would have been. Sort of. Portals exist across the universe, but it's not been my experience an ordinary human can wander through one and travel by accident.

Not that you're ordinary! Far from it.

[ For her part, Claire assumes he means he does, when the occasion calls for it, bleeds profusely. She does laugh under her breath at his comment. ] Oh, no, you're quite right, I'm pretty normal. Well, aside from the time-traveling bit. Which was quite involuntarily the first time, mind.

[ She's gone back and forth since then, but not without consequence. ]

But I understood what you meant; I would imagine slipping through portals is as rare as all of us being here.

Normal is overrated. Boring. Mundane. You're anything but. A little bit of the extra-normal, you are. I don't surround myself with boring or ordinary people as a general habit.

[ Not that he has much of a say in the matter, being trapped on this world. But. Yes. There's a point in there somewhere. ]

But the life you lived before you slipped through a portal — you must have been disorientated, to say the very least.

[ Something about that is reassuring, and she smiles, laughing with a soft exhale through her nose. ]

Alright then, anything but ordinary, I accept that. And I wasn't only disoriented, I was terrified. Dropped in the middle of a gunfight between a Scottish clan and British soldiers. Now it all feels so long ago, like a dream almost. Except that I have a very real daughter as a result of all that.

[ A husband, a daughter, grandchildren. What if she'd been less confused and afraid of Jack Randall at that initial encounter, if she'd gone with the British then? She shudders to think. ]

It wasn't until arriving here that anyone could explain to me how all of it was possible in the first place.

Oh, that, that would be quite the bit of trouble to find yourself in. Traveling through a portal for the first time, landing alone in the middle of that. And you managed through it! See? Extraordinary.

The way we've all been brought here is unique even for me and I've seen a lot in my years.

[ Being summoned here — he's still quite curious about the mechanism of transport, how this even happens at all. ]

Scottish clan and British soldiers — what year did you land in, exactly?

Ah, the year was 1743. Not a fantastic one for Scotland. Not a great decade, honestly.

[ She says that, and there's a hint of sadness that reflects in her eyes before she shakes it off letting out a breath. ]

If you're saying you've done your fair share of traveling and this surprises you, then there's no hope for the rest of us.

[ That, she says with a small smirk; she doesn't mean there's no hope literally, but for a well-traveled man with a ship, if this surprises him or caught him off guard, then who could possibly arrive that understands it at all? ]

Oh. No, no, not at all. I had a friend I traveled with a long time ago — Jamie. We met after the Battle of Culloden, so nearabout that time.

[ It nearly killed him when Jamie had his memories wiped and was forced to return to that very same battlefield, facing down a British soldier.

He softens, though, and quietly adds — ]

I haven't seen anything like this before, but I'm old, Claire. Everything I experience at one point or another is something I haven't seen before and here I am! So, I absolutely believe in hope for all of us. It's always there, even if you have to look a bit longer for it.

[ Everything else he says gets lost as she hears only Jamie and Culloden. Jamie's alive, he's whole and perfect, but the wound of Culloden will never go away, and she blinks quickly. ]

I was there. Jamie—my husband—[ It's a good thing she's already sitting or she might have had her legs go out from under her. Even in her shock, she's telling herself there was more than one Jamie Fraser; the clan was big, decimated in fifteen minutes. ]—just before the battle, my husband took me back to the stones, the portal.

[ A hand drifts idly to her stomach, some twenty-three years later and she can still feel the shock of the worst-timed pregnancy. Everything in that moment was nothing but pain. History knew no one was set to survive. But the Doctor said after Culloden...could it have been?]

Then he went back to fight, presumably to die. It wasn't him, was it? The same Jamie, it couldn't have been. And mine's alive now, right now, in the Colonies.

[ But if she hadn't ever gone back in time, would he have died? She already knows the answer is yes because the path without her didn't lead anywhere but that battlefield. With so many bounties on his head, likely Jamie would've been dead long before Culloden, if not for her dropping into his life. ]

Edited 2023-12-09 23:41 (UTC)

[ Time can go so many ways, in all directions, branching off in different variations of timelines, parallel or alternate universes. It makes his hearts ache for a moment, to consider his own Jamie, and hers — the two of them trapped in a war they should never have had to know.

And for just a moment, he allows himself to feel it, the longing for and the missing of Jamie McCrimmon. ]

I'm sorry he was there, that any of them were, that you were, Claire.

Mine — Jamie McCrimmon was his name.

[ Thank you for letting me say it, he thinks, but doesn't say. For the gift of speaking the name of a friend so long gone now. ]

[ It shouldn't have shaken her so badly, she gets her confirmation just a few seconds later that it was a different Jamie altogether, but she isn't sure the feelings she carried for twenty years will ever go away completely. Especially not now, while she's separated from him again for God only knows how long. ]

I'm sorry you lost yours. I know they were brave, all of them. We were starving by the end but they didn't run, not one man.

[ Starved with them, unwilling until forced to live any differently than her husband. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, she tries to exhale the momentary relapse of feelings and get them back to a better topic. ]

I've never met anyone who's had a more traveled life than mine, which is a good thing, I'm not sure growing up never feeling settled was the perfect way to be. Did you only start traveling as an adult, or did you start young?

[ He looks young, but she's learned lessons about judging a book by its cover, no matter how harmless. ]

Young-ish, I suppose. In a manner of speaking. Only a few hundred years at the time when I started out!

[ He appreciates Claire's sentiment, but he's also quick to pivot away from mention of his own Jamie. As it is with friends he's lost. ]

They were brave, though, all of them. They always are. So you're a traveler and a time traveler, and your Jamie sent you off back through your portal at the Battle of Culloden. You were separated? For how long?

I know it's impolite to ask, but what the hell: how old are you, generally?

[ If he was young at only a few hundred years, and he looks young to her now, then how old is he? She doesn't need an exact number, but she's curious if he's out of the hundreds yet. ]

As for the forced separation, it was twenty years. That must be a blink of an eye to you. In any case, we were finally reunited for a little over a year, and now, well. Here I am.

[ For as much as she's come to terms with being in Abraxas, she says that a bit sourly. She would not rather be here than with Jamie, and she finds it rather rude to be parted from him again. ]

Are you separated from anyone you care for?

Nothing of the sort with me! Never a worry, ask away. I'm nearly...oh, about a thousandish these days, give or take a stray week or two.

[ Really. He does lose track. Easy enough sometimes, can you blame him? ]

A blink of an eye from a certain perspective. Twenty years is a long breath for me, but for you, missing your husband, it must have felt a thousand years. Only to be separated again — I am sorry, Claire.

[ Her question, though, he nearly ignores. From anyone? Oh, countless. Far too many to name. So he goes with the easiest thing — ]

My TARDIS, I miss her terribly. She has numerous safety protocols in place, she's alright out there, but it's always been us.

[ Her eyes pop just a little; he's the oldest person she's met by far, and not even by a little. She doesn't quite know how to follow that up; he's an alien (to her) over two thousand years old. She has no idea what the next question should be, so she's stalled and then they've moved on, which turns her look of surprise into one of soft thanks. ]

It was difficult, in ways that were...[ Inhaling, she closes her eyes for a moment, briefly remembering the pain and the hurt, the grief that threatened to swallow her whole. Then it's gone, and she squeezes his arm for a brief second before finishing her thought. ]...well, I survived it, and I'll survive this. At least now I know he's waiting for me without worry.

[ She's glad to move on to a different topic, and he seems to adore his ship, so: ]

Your ship isn't just that, you're without your freedom, and I'm guessing that isn't a position you find yourself in often?

Not often, no, but we'll find our way back to each other. We always do. Like you and your Jamie, from the sound of it.

[ His voice is hopeful, a gentle smile on his face in return. ]

[ A smile matches the Doctor's, small and still hopeful. She's been reunited with Jamie once, she doesn't doubt she will be again. ]

I suspect your friends consider themselves quite lucky to travel with you, and you think completely the opposite.

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Some days I look in mirrors

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