Got love for the people that have warned you

[itookashot]

WHO: Jesper Fahey and you!
WHAT: Catch-all for November, featuring inn renovations!
WHERE: Cadens, Nocwich, Horizon
WHEN: Throughout November
WARNINGS: NSFW for threads within





[ooc: feel free to wildcard below or ask me for a custom starter on plurk]

Comments

[a_better_man]

Mat shrugs a little, shaking his head as Jesper pulls back. Light but he's glad to see the other man.

"Anakin's gone, is all." Back to...wherever he came from, he supposes. He'd never quite understood Anakin's world that contained many worlds.

But that's all that's weighing his heart down. Something that can't be fixed or changed and needs be borne and suffered. It's just the way of things. Time heals and what have you.

"He was the first person I ever met here. We claimed the same room, when we were brought here. That was that."

Until now.

[itookashot]

"Anakin? Damn." Jesper's hung out with Anakin several times and he's always gotten along with the man. He found details about his world incredible and got to meet his droids. It stings, knowing that just like that he's gone.

But he knows that Mat on the other hand was very close to him, his roommate and long-term friend. Like he says, upon arrival, they knew each other. Jesper sighs, practically feeling the pain flowing through his lover, and he pulls Mat into a hug. It's difficult not to see every missing person as someone he loves next. So he clings to Mat for a moment, holding him close.

"I'm sorry, darling. I know how important he was to you." He kisses Mat's cheek. "And it's tough when it's someone who has been around that long."

[a_better_man]

"Yeah."

Anakin had been a constant in this world. Maybe it had been dumb to think like that, when people could sometimes just vanish back to whence they came like that. But it had been so long...

"Thanks, love. Just...hit hard. Fuck, I helped him build his domain. He helped me accept my channeling. We were...really good friends."

Mat has plenty of acquaintances and casual friends. He's good at those. But close friends...those are far fewer. That's much harder for him. And he thinks Jesper can understand, in a way. He knows the other man feels deeply and easily for other people, makes friends with ease. Loss hits hard for those sorts, too.

"I miss him."

[itookashot]

"I know, sweetheart. And you should miss him because he is a good man and a good friend. And you'll remember that about him, even if it's mixed in with pain and loss."

Jesper isn't going to use the term 'was' because Anakin still is alive somewhere, he went back to his timeline. As far as he knows, death isn't what he was going back to. Jesper hopes not at least. That's always the hardest ones, like with Matthias. Also 'was' is so final. Depressing. This is depressing enough already.

He rubs a hand up and down Mat's back, trying to comfort him as best as he can. Not that physical gestures can really, in the end, help what is a heartache. It is a reminder that every day they have here shouldn't be taken for granted. Something he thinks the two of them are aware of, but it's easy to forget too.

"Come on, sweetheart, let's go to the inn. We can settle in the room for a bit." He doesn't think it best for them to go on a romp around Nocwich with this hanging over them, it might be better to sit and get comfort where they can get it.

[a_better_man]

"Yeah, alright."

It isn't as though Mat's in the mood to go shopping or to busk or anything like that. A quiet time actually sounds appealing. If he were alone, it would just be depressing. Being sad and staying in alone too much is bad for the soul.

"Sorry to be such piss poor company on our weekend."

They only get the one a month. It's generally a time for fun and enjoying one another. But here he is, all broody and down instead.

His hand slips into Jesper's, squeezing it.

[itookashot]

"Every minute spent with you is good company, love. You don't need to be 'on' all the time, not with me."

Meaning he doesn't have to pretend to be in a good mood or mask over his feelings to seem more attractive. They're well past that point by now in their relationship, and they've always been pretty open with each other. So Mat knows he means it. He's as happy curling up in bed with Mat than he is buying him presents.

He squeezes his hand back and leads him to the room they tend to get when they stay. It is every month so there's a sort of 'this is the usual' energy to this, and Jesper likes it there. He shuts the door behind them and shrugs out of his jacket.

"We've never talked about it, but you know that I'd want you to be happy, right? I want you to find love again." This is about Anakin, yes, but it's also about the situation they're in always. The fear of loss. They can talk about Anakin again in a moment, he just wants Mat to know.

[a_better_man]

"Yeah."

It's not something Mat likes thinking about, but he knows Jesper. He's much too good hearted and loving to want anything else. And his love has never been the possessive kind, or the jealous kind. They aren't like that. It's never been like that between them.

His own coat joins Jesper's and he flops himself down, long limbs splayed akimbo where he lands.

"...of course I'd give myself a good long extended mourning period. For the free drinks and the pity sex."

[itookashot]

Jesper of all people would be encouraging, he doesn't believe in lingering too long. He understands people grieve and he would be devastated without Mat, but he also knows his lover and that he would feel the same way. Neither of them are possessive and they love each other too much. He still feels like it's important to say.

He climbs onto the bed and settles next to Mat, pulling his arm over his shoulder, curling to his side to look at him. He runs his fingers through Mat's dark hair, reminding himself all over again at the feel of it, of him. He's still here. Jesper kisses him sweetly, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone before reaching down to take his hand and hold it.

"I'm sorry about Anakin, love. Did he tell you anything about where he was when he was taken?" AKA did he mention being dead? Kind of important.

[a_better_man]

Mat shakes his head.

"He didn't say anything that has me too worried." As far as he knows, Anakin had a life to go back to. An angry life in outer space, but...that's something. Better than some he's known and lost here.

"I just miss him." Missing, not mourning. There is a difference, and one isn't quite as painful as the other.

"He always believed in me, you know. He could be a right arse about it, sometimes, but he did."

[itookashot]

Missing and not mourning was the detail he was looking for. It's a different kind of pain to know they've gone somewhere none of them can follow. Jesper doesn't know if there's an afterlife, let alone a group afterlife. Inej mourned Matthias a second time since he was here and gone.

"You gave him good reason to believe in you, love. You were his friend when he didn't have many." Now that at least Jesper is certain of. Anakin wasn't particularly social here, he wasn't Mr. Popular. And he seemed distant when he spoke of his home. Having a friend like Mat would help anyone feel less alone.

"Were there other people in Thorne who lost him too? It could be good, to miss him together."