• OPEN •

[carmesi]

Who: wanda maximoff + others
When: november
Where: solvunn, horizon, nocwich
What: catch-all for the month! including general top-levels for solvunn. horizon threads based on request! additionally, she'll be in nocwich gathering some supplies.
Warnings: tba!

Comments

[catholica]

I don't need help.

( he says it fiercely, firmly. he's letting her in but he doesn't know how long this will last, this wanting to talk. he doesn't want to risk anyone else. )

There's nothing anyone can do, Wanda.

[carmesi]

[there it is, that darkness welling up again within him. that need to push her away. wanda remains, pressed against his chest, quiet, because the fact alone that he's allowed her to remain like this contradicts his words—his thoughts.

they've made it this far to just let go.]

I'm not going anywhere.

[even if the horizon is temporary. even if there is nothing she can do while in solvunn.

all matt has to do is talk to her when he thinks he's ready. her hold tightens around him, feeling his heartbeat. all matt has to do is remember that she's going to be here.]

[catholica]

( she's stubborn and he knows that, if he wanted to, he could be nasty, terrible, say awful things to make her leave but he can't bring himself to do it.

he sighs. )

I'm not worth it.

( said miserably but he does sound like he believes it right now. )

[carmesi]

That's not for you to decide.

[she can hear it in his voice, just how miserable he sounds about everything. it's not fair to himself, but wanda does not want to swirl his emotions more than what they already are. she can help him sort himself out, but he's the one who has to take those steps himself.

wanda doesn't move from where she sits, though she does wiggle a little, feeling the compactness of the chair hurting her back a bit.

and so — she makes it so the chair becomes a couch, and that way she can scoot to the side, bring him closer against her, so that she's holding him instead, leaning into her.]

We'll figure this out, Matt. I promise. Your sight [—that extra sense that he got from being blind—] we can figure it out. I promise.

[catholica]

( he doesn't pull away, a testament to what he truly does want. his body shudders and he closes his eyes but he still remains somewhat stiff and tense. )

Don't make promises.

( because there's a possibility that they can't be kept. this from a man who was so adamant about the one day in new york.

it's hard to remember that right now. )

[carmesi]

[she could, really, remind him that he's the one who always makes impossible promises to her, but for once she doesn't want to argue with him about it. wanda can already feel that hollow emptiness in him that merits some kind of serious empathy.

stiff and tense, despite being wrapped by her arms.

wanda noses against the side of his head, closing her eyes.]

Let me just stay with you for a while.

[if she can't fix it right away, the least she wants is to remind him, through her presence, that she is here for him.]

[catholica]

I don't want to keep you from other things.

( but matt knows what she'll say to that. he knows that she'll say this is all she has to do.

he knows that because it's what he'd say to her if their positions were reversed. he sighs and does allow his head to rest against hers. )

There are better things to do.

[carmesi]

[wanda isn’t about to tell matt that he’s being stupid for saying those things to say, because she knows that he knows what her response would be. this is all she has to do, and this is all she wants to be doing at this point in time.

when matt does relax against her, just a touch, she presses a kiss to his temple.]

Probably. [—better things to do—] But I won’t be able to focus on anything else knowing that you’re feeling like this.

[it makes her feel helpless, not being able to be there for him in person.

the next questions she asks quietly,]

—what happened, Matt? After the explosion?

[catholica]

I didn't die but I might as well have.

( with everything that he'd lost, everything that he'd felt had been taken from him. he shakes his head. )

I feel like I did.

( he feels like a husk of the person he'd once been. )

[carmesi]

[it is a feeling she can understand all too well, and wanda frowns, empathizing with his pain. she wraps her arms tighter around him, holding him close.]

Because everything hurt? Because of your sight—

[or…

even quieter still, she asks,]

Because of Elektra?

[he can’t hide that name, nor those feelings, from her.]

[catholica]

( he takes an unsteady breath at all of that, shaking his head, trying to dismiss it, not wanting to talk about it lest he dredge everything up again. )

It doesn't matter.

( that and 'i'm fine' are his standbys. )

It happened.

[carmesi]

[it happened, and there’s nothing that can be done about it—that much is true, but… it’s not something that he has to take on all on his own. wanda’s quiet, wondering if he’ll say something more, but he seems to be pretty set on what he wants and doesn’t want to say; what he wants to avoid feeling.

she squeezes tightly at him, not wanting to let him go.]

If you ever want to talk about it, you know you can tell me.

[it is the very least she can offer—for matt, who had been for her, to talk to her when she felt so overwhelmed with her feelings of loss and pain.]

You’re here now, Matt. With me.

[catholica]

( he knows. he nods slightly because he knows and maybe he will want to talk to her soon. he can't just bring himself to do it right now.

he doesn't want to delve into his head right now, into those thoughts. he doesn't even know how to explain it. )

I know.

( but does he? he feels off balance more than anything else, like he's...like he's not sure of his place in this world right now. )