abraxaslogs | ❂ open!

Entry tags:

❂ open!

Who: river & you!!
When: over the first week of december!
Where: nocwich and castle thorne
What: exploring nocwich for that good cross-faction CR and then a week later when river's canon powers return with a suckerpunch
Warnings: possible mentions of human experimentation, torture, and child abuse. there are content warnings for canon themes and an opt-in/opt-out post for her psychic abilities over here, please check it out!

☾ backdated - nocwich

[ being new to abraxas - alarmed and terrified at being stolen away, having spent the first day traversing castle thorne in a daze as she tried to accept the reality of this world - there is no small amount of trepidation as she steps through the portal to nocwich. as far as the theoretical physics of it all, a portal is more outlandish than teleportation, which makes more sense from a logistical standpoint. although she's not a fan of the molecular deconstruction of her body just to be reassembled elsewhere, so maybe a magic portal won't be so bad...

anyone by the castle thorne portal might hear her mumbling about this for a long while before she finally takes a deep breath and steps through.

more than the notion of magic being real how is magic real, river's main curiosity is the fact of being allowed to go to nocwich at all. she isn't used to her captors being willing to let them leave, even if it's on a tight leash. nowhere close to freedom, but it falls to the back of her mind the moment she finds herself in the bright and lively nature of oleuni square.

with no money to spend and no inclination to buy anything in the first place, river spends her time just wandering around looking at everything with eyes the size of saucers. with a staunch lack of propriety, she'll pick up anything she's curious about and may or may not put it back where it belongs. she watches the performances on stage with rapt attention, stares a little too long at any non-human folks walking about, and otherwise seems to float about in a happy daze as she wanders alone through the streets.

might be best she's not left unattended for too long, lest she overstay her welcome and disturb the locals. ]

☉ current date - castle thorne

[ despite her early misgivings and intense mistrust of those what brought them to this world against their will, there is so much about the castle that excites the childlike wonder that encompasses river in her entirety. it's stunningly beautiful, and she spends a lot of time aimlessly wandering around ( generally barefoot ) as she takes in the architecture, hangs out in the gardens, and puts her fingers all over anything that even remotely looks magical.

more often than not, it looks like she's having fun. she might get shy or suspicious when people approach her, especially any of the thornean mages, but she does well enough to explore with a brightness to her features.

in many ways, it's a blessing of her eyes being closed, her mind shut to the influx of noise and chaos that ordinarily floods her senses. river knew better than to hope the silence might stay forever, but it still catches her by surprise when the moment comes during breakfast on her eighth day. like a tidal wave crashing over her, the thoughts and emotions and worries and fears and secrets and everythingeverything around her overloads her senses.

anyone in the dining hall might hear a loud scream and the clatter of dishes as river flings herself out and away from the table. she winds up on the floor, eyes wide and shaking like a leaf in the wind, ready to be blown away by the slightest breeze. she rambles in distress, seemingly without seeing anyone in front of her even as she sees everything. ]

No, no no no. No! You can't - you can't be here, you can't! Qǐng shàngdì liánmǐn - stay away!

[ tears in her eyes and screams in her ears, river may be hard to console as she tries and fails to fight back the rising tide of panic. let's just hope nothing sharp or pointy finds its way into her shaking hands... ]

[ ooc: as a reminder, hover over any chinese text for a translate, and please hop on over to her opt-in/opt-out post to let me know how you'd like me to play her psychic abilities around your character. feel free to reach out to me at ragemarshmallow on discord or

varooooom if you want to plot anything out! 💚 ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You don't need to apologize.

( he still doesn't know exactly how she'd been able to know all that about him but he's learned that abraxas is a strange, confusing place.

and he's not going to question it especially when she seems to be calming down slightly. )

River's a good name. It's calming. Did you just get here, River?

[ she exhales shortly, not quite a laugh or a sigh or a sob. by design, there's nothing "calming" about her. but it's a nice thing to say. ]

Approximately eight days, two hours, and thirty one minutes. It's getting harder to count, though.

[ don't even get her started on the issue of time equivalency across solar systems and alternate dimensions! but she still asks anyway. ]

Are you - have you been here much longer?

Yeah but not too much longer.

( well, it was kind of a lot longer but in comparison to some other people, his stay had been very short. )

A few months and it's been okay. Not too bad.

( he's trying to be reassuring here. )

[ she's quiet for a second as she considers 'not too bad' before muttering. ]

I heard there were dragons.

[ that's a selling point, tbh. river eyes him curiously. ]

Is - do you like being here? There are things to do, back home. And people...

[ oh, gēgē. her eyes are tired and afraid as she asks quietly: ]

Do you need to go back? Or... is being here good, for you?

I haven't seen the dragons yet but that would be something, wouldn't it?

( and now he kind of wants to see them if that's true. he has no reason to doubt her, after all. )

I don't...hate being here but I do have things to do back home. You picked out that I'm a king, didn't you? My home needs me to come back eventually. But this isn't the worst place that I've ever been.

You have a duty. They're all dead. Laid down. Can't get back up. All the king's horses and all the king's men. Can't put her back together again.

[ her voice gets progressively thicker with emotion as she speaks until she realizes she's mixing up the stories, can't tell which skeletons are hers or his or someone else's. she shakes her head and asks a different question. ]

Do you want to go back? Do you have to go back?

I don't know if I can stay here permanently.

( thorne's not really the kind of place that he thinks he can stay longterm and be comfortable. there's something about this place that sets him on edge but he can't place exactly why.

he shrugs a shoulder. )

I have to go back, yes. I'm the king and a kingdom needs its king. There's no one else after me.

[ she nods silently because he's right. he has a duty. ]

Do you know what happens when we're here? At home, are we just... gone? An empty throne and a missing poster?

I've heard that...time stops. Like when we return, we return to the same exact minute we left from.

( but that's just what he's heard. he can't prove that. )

I think other people would be better to ask about that than me. I've only been here a few months so I don't know. I'm still getting used to this place myself.

[ at this, she makes a face. ]

It all sounds fake. Time doesn't work that way, but they explain everything with magic.

[ a note of disdain; she's having a hard time buying it. ]

Are you worried? They need you.

Of course I am but there's little I can do right now.

( as far as he could see, there was no way out of thorne or abraxas. this place somehow brought you here and it would be the one to send you home. )

So, I try and make the best of what I have. I try and live my life as fully as I can while stuck in this castle. It's not great advice but it seems to be working for me.

[ she stares at him for a moment and curls into a smaller ball. she's worried - about simon, about herself, about the people she'll hurt without meaning to when simon isn't here to help her. river sniffles a little. ]

What does it mean? To 'live a life fully while stuck?' I've never - we weren't allowed to. We exist, we don't live.

[ her eyes are tearful and her voice comes small when she looks to him again. ]

How do you do it?

I just try to...take what this place has to offer and do the best I can with it. I don't want this place to control me, I want to control myself.

( he's not sure if that makes sense. )

But you exist here. You're allowed to be...a person if that wasn't something you could do where you come from.

[ be in control. be a person. both novel ideas. ]

I - I'll try...

[ two big promises to a total stranger. but she'll try. ]

Can I ask one - um, maybe two more questions?

You can ask me as many questions as you want.

( he's not going anywhere and he wants to help. )

What do you want to know?

[ she smiles faintly and hugs her knees. he's kind; she wonders if he'll make a good king. ]

What do you like to do for fun? Or - are there things that make you happy here?

There are. There are good people here. Other people like you and me that have been pulled here. They're the people you want to stick around.

( staying away from the thorne natives was a smart thing. )

Has anyone told you about the Horizon yet?

[ ah. she ducks her head and nods. ]

I know. But it's - it's too far away. Hard to get there when you have to sit still for the journey.

[ meditation isn't exactly her strong suit, if he can believe it. ]

You'll get there when you're ready. It's a peaceful place.

( because it could be anything you wanted it to be. he smiles gently. )

It's not always going to be too far away. When you're ready, there's plenty of people who can help you explore it.

They said you can build there. Imagination is the limit.

[ but it's not limitless. another magic thing she doesn't quite understand. maybe one day. ]

Did you make one too? What does it look like when you explore?

I did make one. I have a ship back home so I created that ship there.

( he sounds fond, like he's missing a good friend. and maybe he is because he'd really enjoyed that time in his life.

now, he was ravka's king and couldn't do that as much as he wanted to. until he'd come here. )

And when I explore, I make it look like my home, Ravka. Where I came from. Sometimes, I imagine other places that I've been and I fly over them, looking down and letting myself feel free.

[ and for a moment, river can see it. not just the ravka that exists in the horizon but the ravka that exists in his memories. she feels his love and grief, the sense of duty that lives inside him, and wonders what it was like the first time his ship took flight.

she finds herself crying again, but it's quiet and wistful as she smiles faintly. ]

It sounds really nice.

It is.

( especially when it wasn't being decimated by war. he hopes to return to a ravka like that one day. )

You can do that when you get there. Create what you want or just go and explore other people's Horizons.