abraxaslogs

Me too.

[ Alina's reply is quiet, almost more like mouthing the words than actually speaking them. Distracted by the warmth of another person, the comfort of Ciri's hand twined with hers. For a moment, Alina feels a stabbing pang of guilt that she would ever feel even a little bit alright when Mal is lost. When Mal is gone, and grief seems to wash over her all over again.

She stiffens, and then forces herself to relax. Mal will make fun of her for ever being so worried when he's back. If he comes back. She has to focus on something else, before she lets the tide of worry take her down again. It might be a silly, childish suggestion but it's a luxury that has always comforted Alina... ]

Would you like a bath?

[ Ciri seems to relax, just a little, when Alina returns the sentiment. Her fingers squeeze once, gently.

When she lifts her head, she isn't quite smiling, but some of the tight angles of her face have softened just a little bit. ]

Yes, please. I would like that very much.

Let me run you one.

[ Not that they exactly have advanced plumbing systems, so "run" is maybe too generous of a word, but Alina can manage. They have a fairly sizable tub in a private section of their small apartment that Alina leads Ciri to by the hand. And while lugging water was annoying, at least Alina could warm it up. ]

Just a second. [ She kneels next to the tub, flexing her fingers before laying her hands just above the surface of the water. Light begins to pool underneath her hands, rolling into a sphere that radiates warmth. She's had to do this enough times now that she's figured out the best way to concentrate the light, rippling it across the surface. She smiles and sits back on her heels as steam begins to rise from the surface. ]

There. Let me know if it's not warm enough. I'd offer to cool it if it's too hot but all I can do is just dump a fresh bucket in.

[ Ciri helps. As much as Alina allows her to. At least they don't have to bring water all the way from a well outside; even rudimentary plumbing is pretty impressive to Ciri, so she still considers a shorter distance to getting fresh water a novelty. Most importantly, it gives her something else to focus on, a chance to get out of her own head a little bit.

While Alina prepares the bath, Ciri watches her, eyes widening slightly to see the bright, warm light that spills from her fingers, curling up into a tiny sun that ripples heat over the water until it visibly begins to steam. Ciri realizes she's staring, her hands having gone still on the buttons halfway down her blouse, the collar slipping off her shoulder. ]

I didn't know you could do magic like that. It's beautiful.

[ Alina ducks her head with a soft smile, curling her fingers at the surface of the water to test the temperature. Magic, Ciri calls it, but Alina doesn't correct her. It feels as wondrous and beautiful and special as magic to her too.

Sitting back, she looks softly over at Ciri, her eyes lingering on the bit of bare skin at her neck and collar before she seems to jerk herself out of her staring. Clearing her throat. ]

It's no trouble. I'll, uhm, leave you to it then?

[ She probably wants privacy right? It's not as if Alina hadn't seen her in those weeks in the cells, but it's nice to take that bit of privacy back now. ]

[ Ciri looks... surprised. She blinks, mouth half open as if about to say something. Hesitates like that, weighing the words in her mouth, suddenly thrown off. She realizes she's made an assumption here that Alina hasn't, and she isn't sure if it's because Alina's not used to it, if this isn't common where she's from, or if Alina is also just unsure of her.

But after a moment, Ciri finds her voice again. She's paused undressing though, a little awkwardly holding her shirt closed with her hand in front of her chest. ]

I... wouldn't say no to company. If you'd like to join me.

[ There's room in the bath. Ciri's eyes move to it, as if to say as much without quite putting it in words. ]

Though if you had other plans for the evening, I'll be all right on my own. Thank you for warming the water, regardless.

[ Alina waits a moment, but her lips pull into a soft smile. She's no prude. Modesty and privacy are luxurious concepts in the army and an orphanage, but there's a warmth and a comfort she feels with Ciri, as familiar and welcoming as a warm bath. ]

No, no plans.

[ A little weird, a little lonely, always the outsider anywhere she goes. She doesn't feel like that with Ciri. ]

And this way I can keep it warm.

[ There's a hint of a double-meaning there that Alina realizes belatedly, but she doesn't take it back. She tucks her head, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear before she stands to make work of her own clothes. She unbuttons her shirt and shimmies her trousers down her hips, stripping to small clothes that also get removed without ceremony. Alina never thought of herself as particularly attractive (only recently moving past the sharp edges of a too-thin and sickly orphan, unknowingly succumbing to the impacts of suppressing a power she didn't know about), and surely Ciri doesn't think of her like that, so there is only a little bit of awkwardness as she sits on the edge of tub bare.

Perhaps it's not the right time to have a totally platonic (sure) conversation with your friend naked and about to take a bath, but she offers a soft smile as she slides into the water, drawing her knees up to her chest. ]

Plenty of room.

Thanks.

[ Seeing Alina begin to undress too, Ciri relaxes. She finishes removing her clothing quickly and with more comfortable, natural movements, stripping down fully and setting her clothes aside before approaching the tub and Alina. She doesn't shy away from looking at the other woman, though Ciri doesn't stare or look too closely; it's not that Alina isn't worth looking at, but it's just a bath, and she's used to communal bathing so it doesn't really strike her as embarrassing or too intimate. It's Alina's company she enjoys, and the fact that she doesn't want to be alone. The bath being the circumstance is only an afterthought.

She smiles back, sliding into the water across from Alina. Her body -- as Alina probably noticed during their time in the cell together, even if they'd tried to give each other privacy -- is littered with scars, but there are no fresh wounds. Those are all completely healed (and Jaskier suffered for it). As she slips into the water, Alina might notice the hint of color on her inner thigh, the shape of a red rose, before it disappears into the bath.

The tub is big enough for both of them, though not much more than that. She tucks her legs too, knees bent, arms folded on top of them, and sinks lower all the way down to her chin. ]

Water's the perfect temperature.

[ She offers a faint smile, struggling to break the awkward silence. Now that she's here and the adrenaline and the majority of the crisis has faded, she just feels... drained. ]

What kind of spell was that you used?

[ As Ciri relaxes, Alina follows suit. Somehow the scars she wears on her body makes Alina less self-conscious of the one her own tells, antlers weaving in and out of her skin. She sinks too, sliding down, their legs bumping together with the slide but she doesn't flinch away from it. It's nice to be close to someone. ]

Hm? [ That rouses her from her slow fade into the warm water. Fidgeting, she glances to the side wondering how to best answer this question. ] Well it's not really a spell...

[ Aleksander would have been very upset with her for not contesting the term magic at all, but he can take a stick and shove it up his—

Anyway. She shrugs warmly. She isn't going to let thoughts of the Darkling distract her. ]

We call it summoning. Different people have different affinities of what they can call to. Water, wind, fire and... [ She lifts her hand out of the water, letting a small orb of light come together and spin in her palm before smiling and letting it slip back into the air. ] ...light.

[ Alina seems to settle in further, relaxing her legs; Ciri relaxes too, slowly, her legs stretching out to the side of Alina and giving Alina room to do the same.

Sometimes, occasionally, her eyes still catch on the warped shape inside Alina's collar bone, especially when no clothes obscure it. She makes sure they don't stay there. ]

Really? That just sounds like elemental magic to me.

[ She sounds dubious, and then Alina summons up a ball of light again, balancing it in her palm like a tiny, spinning planet. ]

And your affinity is light? [ Ciri smiles faintly as it dissipates, focusing again on Alina's face. ]

It suits you.

[ A little embarrassed at showing off, Alina sinks down deeper into the water, covering half her face. She's not used to being suited for anything. It's a nice change.

She bobs back up quickly enough, lounging against the edge of the tub, curious. ]

Can you use any magic?

[ Ciri watches her hide with a small, fond smile. She nudges the side of her leg against Alina's outer thigh, almost teasing, as if encouraging her not to be embarrassed.

But the smile slips at the question. Her throat goes tight. ]

Technically... yes. [ She answers slowly, the words careful, and though she doesn't move away at all (except her eyes, which drift past Alina and to the wall behind her), there's suddenly a distance there. In her gaze, her voice. ]

But I'm not very good at it.

[ Not exactly a lie. But not quite the truth, either. It depends on what one considers good. ]

Yeah?

[ She straightens, curious and enthusiastic before trying to reel herself in and following the cues of Ciri's distance. There's something there, but Alina has enough of her own secrets that she doesn't want to pry too much.

But she isn't exactly delicate either. ]

Well. [ She turns to the side, curling on the edge, head rested on a pillowed arm, shifting a little to accommodate her collar awkwardly poking into her skin. ] I probably wouldn't be able to tell.

[ Before she can restrain herself, Ciri lets out a startled scoff of a sound, bitter and sharp. ]

Oh. You'd be able to tell.

[ Her eyes linger on Alina, something harsh and unhappy shining dully in her gaze, but it's not directed at the other girl. Past her, somewhere. Into another time and place. Ciri swallows roughly and tips her head back to stare at the ceiling instead. ]

...that's why we're here. [ She admits finally, after a few seconds of tense silence.

Alina had listened, last time. When she'd spent her first few nights in this world, crying and angry and heartbroken. When Geralt hadn't known who she was. When they'd been stuck like animals in that cell for no discernible sin except Thorne's, and Ciri had felt more alone knowing Geralt was only a few cells away than when she'd been searching the Continent for him.

Alina had listened, then. She'll listen now, won't she? Ciri doesn't need to tell her everything. But she needs to say something. ]

I've always had magic. But I've never been able to make it behave as I want. Some things are easier than others, and back home, I understood it just enough. I'd practiced to control it. But yesterday, with Jaskier--

[ She looks down again, this time at her hand drifting back and forth over the surface of the water, feeling it cling to her palm. She lifts it with a shallow splash to gesture, vaguely, a restless wave at the room as a whole, to indicate a larger space. ]

It was too much. I couldn't control it at all. I was only trying to practice a little healing spell, and instead all that magic poured out of me and I didn't know how to stop it and it hurt him.

I hurt him.

...I will not unstop that cork again. I don't need magic. It isn't beautiful and warm for me. It's a torrent, and I don't plan to let it back out.

[ A little startled, Alina leans back feeling like she's missed the last step in the stairs. Her breath catches as she listens to Ciri. She almost begins to protest, that it wasn't her fault or that she just needs practice, but it all feels like lame platitudes. So instead she listens. Really listens.

Then, she shifts forward in the water to scoot closer. Slowly as to not feel like she's invading too quickly. Gently, Alina reaches for Ciri's hand and clasps it between her own. It's not an effort to calm her down, Alina knows what it's like to feel such big things, too enormous and heavy to put into words.

Grisha women scare me, Mal had joked. Before they knew of course. He would never tell it to her now. But there is no telling what he still thinks when she has this collar around her neck. The heat of the sun is a brutal thing when looked upon too closely.

She dips her head, thumb stroking against the back of Ciri's hand. Alina has a tenuous relationship with her own powers, so she won't tell her that she should be glad to have them or work harder to master them. It'd almost certainly be easier if they were gone, and Alina wouldn't dare tell Ciri any differently. ]

It wasn't your fault.

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