[open] open for business

[subhuman]

Who: Dante & generous patrons (aka YOU)
When: Throughout January
Where: Thorne
What: Dante's Pizza Cart is officially OPEN!
Warnings: Cringe

[ Since he first discovered these amazing powers, he's been trying to pump up his future customer base inside the Castle with free samples of the world's most perfect dish. That's taken a lot of hard work, mostly in the reminding himself he needs to get up and do it sort, but he believes that he's finally garnered enough of a reputation amongst the Summoned and castle staff to take it out to the masses...

To spread the Good Word of Pizza.

It's taken a small lone because, upon it's purchase, Dante hasn't done anything worthy of coin. That's not to say he's been entirely useless--far from it! He's taken part in the necessary ventures of the other Summoned and tried to make sure that no humans were being harmed. But that doesn't exactly pay, does it? Not when the Castle provides so much. But every shop needs a proper shop front, so Dante begins with a simple wooden cart



Unassuming though it may be, there is a wooden sign hanging from one side, writ in a surprisingly neat and practiced cursive, that reads:

Devil Made Pies (symbol of the Devil Arcana on the side)
The First & Only Pizzeria in Thorne

On the cart, several large pizza pies are laid out on a mix of wooden and ceramic plates, most with recognizably classic toppings...for anyone familiar with the art. Beside said cart stands Dante, and depending on the day and hour, he's either looking proud and passingly charming or like he's ready for a nap.

one. no work and all naps

In fact, you may find him sleeping on the job at random hours, propped up next to the cart and leaving his wares free for anyone to sample. A note that says "take one" stacked up next to the pies.

So help yourself! Or maybe wake up the supposed shop keep who may be completely out of his product.

two. hi billy mayes here

At other times, he's definitely on shift and calls out to passersby in a theatrical fashion-- ]

Are you looking for something to pick you up during these brisk winter days and long and dark winter nights? A balm for the body...

[ He places both hands above his heart. ]

And the soul?

[ With a twinkle of mirth in his eyes, he picks someone you out of the crowd, pointing directly. ]

You there! You look like a Paragon of the Palate. Step on up.

three. could use a few yelp reviews

[ Or maybe you already know this guy and are wondering what he's doing standing around in the cold with a cart full of carbs and cheese. ]

Being a man of business isn't easy.

[ He's definitely not dressed for the weather. ]

Comments

1 - just a driveby...

[ushiri]

[ He sees no reason to wake Dante from his peaceful slumber, so Kahlil will just take his 'free' slice and quietly place a few coins inside the cart.

When the locals passing by give inquire about what he's eating (is it rude to walk and eat?) he'll gladly point them toward Dante's little set up... ]

[subhuman]

[ You're a true pal, Kyle! He'll be pleased to see so many pieces gone when he finally wakes up.

Now, if only he can make them pay next time... ]

three!

[thoughts]

[ river does not know this guy, but she remembers him from the welcome event after she first arrived in abraxas last month. she'd been interested in it, the way she's curious about any new thing she finds, but hadn't made her way over after she wound up talking to yennefer and istredd about magic for most of the evening.

so when she finds him standing around, a cart of pizza beside him, she tiptoes her way over and tilts her head as she observes him and his wares with a wide-eyed intrigue. ]

Are you the handsome man in red?

[ that's what it said on his sign, at least. ]

i am BLESSED by river

[subhuman]

[ Ah, a customer! And a Summoned too, he recognizes briefly from the little party. Though he's trying to extend his reach outside of the core group of the castle proper, he's never going to turn down new business. Especially not form someone who seems to be eyeing the pies with the right sort of fervor that comes with true pizzappreciation.

So he smiles in a way that he intends to be charming. He brings a hand to his chin and all but poses. ]

Can't you tell?

[ Maybe she shouldn't answer that.

He bows easily. ]

And you look like the lovely lady who's in need of something to eat. How fortunate for us to find each other!

ehehe dante is a gift and i needed this to happen!!

[thoughts]

[ it's hard not to be charmed by his over the top showmanship. river smiles and returns his bow with a small curtsy. ]

Xìngyùn, lucky me. I've been curious. Never eaten a plate before.

[ another reference to the silly sign he had at the party. she takes his warm welcome as permission to step up to the cart, her eyes lighting up even more as she can see the pizza in full detail. ]

<3<3!

[subhuman]

[ Being a man of the world he is--or just a connoisseur of fortune cookies--he can only smile at the expression translated so incorrectly in his head. (He's seen it before...one of his favorite combos to order.)

She is blessedly saved from him making an embarrassment of himself by repeating said combo name in return because the epidemic of the pizza-less is always at the forefront of his mind. Or, well, it's the one job he's got here. Kind of. Mostly. ]

Then you've definitely wandered down the right aesthetically cobble-stoned path.

[ He steps a little to the side to give her room to enjoy the full display of pies. ]

Tell me, are you in the mood for something spicy? Savory? Or maybe something a little more fresh and gardeny hits right?

[thoughts]

[ as he steps to the side, river takes that as an opportunity to walk right up to the cart - and she crouches down in front of it, sitting on her heels with her fingers curled around the edge of the wood as she observes each option carefully. ]

They're all the same and different. Bread, cheese, sauce, bits on top.

[ how are you supposed to choose one? river looks thoroughly enchanted when she looks up to dante from her place squatted low to the ground. ]

Do you have a favorite?

[subhuman]

[ Definitely not the standard way of surveying his wares, but he's not going to argue against getting a good, closer look. You know, eye-to-eye with the 'za and all of that. ]

The same base, but with just enough variety to cause great divides.

[ God forbid he bring up the quandary of whether pineapples belong on pizza. ]

I'm a fan of the classic pepperoni and mushroom. The right combination of savory from both and the split between the light spice of the pepperoni to the earthy undertones of the mushroom.

[ He makes a "chef's kiss" motion. ]

[thoughts]

[ a big - well, cheesy grin spreads across her face at his answer. either he's taking this very seriously or he's fully committed to his performance as a salesman. maybe both? either way, it's incredibly dorky and equally endearing. ]

That sounds good. I would try one, if I can. But she hasn't got any coin.

[subhuman]

[ It's absolutely both. And if she can put up with that, then she's already his favorite customer, coin or no.

Dante purses his lips, feigning some serious consideration on this. She's new, so she probably doesn't know hes got a terrible habit of giving away his stock long before getting his cart proper...and it's not something he's going to be quitting anytime soon. Not when there are mouths in need of pizza. ]

First one's on the house.

[ He motions towards the pre-cut pies, allowing her to take a slice of any she'd like. ]

2

[ordinar]

[Wilhelm is on the clock too, so to speak, with a bag full of letters and small parcels ready for delivery in Nott. His route to the portal out of the castle city gets interrupted, though, by a vendor shouting at him. Normally, he'd wave them off — no thank you, sorry, I'm a little busy right now — and be on his way. But he quickly realizes...he knows this vendor. He had once spent a week enduring the snores of this vendor.

So he pauses, points to his own chest, and mouths: me?

This is followed by a sigh and a slight eyeroll, but Wilhelm does draw closer to the cart. Which he realizes now, as the scent of garlic and herbs drifts over him, is laden with pizza.]

You're selling pizza now?

[Well, obviously.]

[subhuman]

[ It's almost as if he planted Wilhelm right there in the crowd just when he was needed! Dante would call himself lucky, but it's really more that Wilhelm is unlucky this afternoon. Ah well.

Dante is all grins when the young man steps forward and offers a bow with a flourish to welcome him. The locals whisper amongst themselves. ]

It comes at a price, yes, but let's think of it less as "selling" and more...spreading the joys of pizza to the uniformed! Pizza is something the Kingdom of Thorne has been sorely lacking in.

[ordinar]

[Somehow, he didn't anticipate that by stepping on up he would be pulling a spotlight onto himself. His cheeks tinge pink as he realizes that there's a whole gaggle of locals who are actually captivated by Dante's cringy theatrics. God, he should have just kept walking.]

Uh...yeah. You're the hero we've all been waiting for.

[He's not even saying it with as much sarcasm as he could inflict. It's not Dante's fault he's old and embarrassing.]

[subhuman]

[ If there is one thing the people deserve, it's a good show. And a show he will give them, especially if it spreads the word.

Bless Wilhelm for being the sidekick Dante always knew he needed. He turns his attention to the crowd with wide arms. ]

A hero? To some, perhaps, but I consider myself just a humble servant of the One True Pie...but, ah! You must be wondering, what pie could stand above all others to be considered the One? The best way to convince you would be...

[ He spins on his heels back to his cart and pulls out a couple of knives. Yes, knives. Which could be decidedly threatening if not for the fact that he's pointing them at the food than the people. Then in a flurry of surprisingly graceful and unsurprisingly dramatic moves, Dante slices up the pizzas into a several plates of small, bit-sized pieces.

He picks up a plate in each hand and flips around once again. ]

Free samples!

[ Dante holds out a plate to Wilhelm expectantly. ]

Why don't you show them how it's done?

[ordinar]

[Wilhelm, for his part, at least tries to look like he actually wants to be here. Curving a glance across the crowd, he musters up a stiff smile. He can concede that Dante's bladework is impressive, cool enough to atone for all the lame dramatics. His applause for it is genuine — and it prompts a smattering of applause from the onlookers too.

When Dante thrusts a plate toward him, Wilhelm aims a flat look back. How what's done? Eating? With a sigh and an eyeroll, he helps himself to one of the sample pieces of pizza. He won't even attempt to match Dante's showmanship — he already feels ridiculous enough standing here with everyone watching him like he's a dog performing a trick. But he does nod in approval and makes sure he's loud enough when he says:]

Mm, that's good.

[And it is, honestly. Deserving of the title best pizza in Thorne. Well, it's the only pizza in Thorne.]

[subhuman]

[ Wilhelm does his part beautifully, however long-suffering it is for him. (And to his credit, that tends to be the standard when dealing with Dante.) The older man waits patiently for the review and when it's finally shared, he turns to the crowd with all the gusto of a ringleader proudly displaying their circus acts for the evening. ]

You heard it here, folks! Convenient and delicious. What more could you ask for?

[ Samples then go out to the crowd, earning a few actual sales of slices and even one whole pie from a woman with several children pulling at her skirts. All in all, Dante would call it a very successful little demonstration.

When the crowd subsides, he turns a much less cheesy smile towards Wilhelm and offers a nod. ]

Couldn't have done it without you, kid. Have something on the house for a job well done, eh?

[ordinar]

[With so many customers crowding around the cart, Wilhelm's escape route is cut off. Here he's stuck, offering awkward smiles to anyone who acknowledges him. Finally, the rush ebbs and he sags into a relieved sigh. Just as he's about to walk away, Dante stops him with a smile.

Alright, alright, he can't say no to free pizza.]

Sure. Thanks. [Helping himself to a slice from the nearly picked-clean cart, he digs in. As he chews, he raises an eyebrow at Dante.] Why pizza, anyway?

Two

[the_keeper]

[ Lucifer did tell her to keep an eye out for Dante, and it's not that she hasn't, so much as she's been understandably busy with the return of Jack. Still, as Sabine is wandering through the town, between dropping off some more books from back home as trade-in for even more of them here, she catches a familiar smell.

And spots a cart.

And a sleeping seller.

And a helpful little sign.




Sabine tilts her head, musing quietly. ] One piece or one pizza.

[subhuman]

[ Napping on the job is a skill that Dante has perfected. Granted, the streets of Thorne aren't as comfy as his worn-in office chair back at his shop, but after a month-long coma on a giant demon tree eating the city, a little bit of cobblestone isn't so bad.

But while he may sleep through the ongoing attack of said city, something does ping in his subconscious that someone has drawn close to his pizza. Though Dante doesn't open his eyes, he starts to come to and hears what definitely sounds like a young woman deliberating her options.

A whole pizza? Who is he to discourage that. ]

...Go big or go home.

[ Yes, he is saying that still completely slumped over. ]

[the_keeper]

[ Sabine can appreciate a nap on the job. She is the child of business owners (if one's more picky about losing Rift-crazy autopsy subjects than making commentary on naps, or attire, or much at all). She and Jack had spent a fairly large amount of their time at the gas station reading books.

Sabine doesn't start at his voice. Only tucks a bright smile in tight.

(But then she hadn't started at him being part demon either.
Or about a part-demon taking naps while selling pizza.

Maybe you almost expect it on Devil recommend?) ]

Yes, wouldn't 'go big' be more like trying to run away with the cart without waking you?

[subhuman]

[ If there is one thing that being a Devil (literally and figuratively) will get you is word-of-mouth pizza sales? He'll accept it. Best thing that's ever come with the package by far.

There may be a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth at the challenge, if you look closely. He'll keep his whole feigning sleep act as long as he can. ]

Might be both depending on where you take it.